Quintin Jardine - Dead And Buried

Where did we get to?

Bob Skinner blinked as he spoke. Im sorry, Kevin, what was that? I let myself drift away there. It must be too damned warm in here. Is that one of your head-shrinkers tricks?

The man opposite gazed back at him, a half-smile flicking a corner of his mouth. He made a faint sound that might have been a sigh; but then again, probably not, more likely only a simple drawing of breath. Kevin OMalley was famous for his patience, that unshakeable, remorseless patience which made it virtually impossible to evade his questions, or to answer them in anything other than direct terms.

The deputy chief constable envied him: his own interrogation technique, successful as it had proved over the years, was based on relentless psychological pressure, rather than compassion. He guessed that in the weeks to come, he might find himself trying to adopt some of the consultant psychiatrists methods.

I asked you to think back to the other times youve had to use a firearm on duty.

Times?

Weve had this conversation before, remember.

Sure, I remember. Skinner scowled at him. They say Im smart, Kevin, but when I drafted the standing order that requires all officers to have counselling whenever theyve been involved in a shooting incident, I didnt have the bloody wit to add, apart from me!

What have you got against counselling, Bob?

You know bloody well, for Ive told you often enough. I dont like anyone rummaging inside my head.

Maybe not, but. .

But nothing. .

OMalleys smile seemed slightly at odds with the look in his eye. But plenty: youve had a crisis with buried secrets in the past. There were things in there that you werent admitting, even to yourself.

Thats in the past. Theres nothing I cant cope with, not any more.

So answer my last question.

It wasnt a question. You asked me to think back.

So do it.

Im doing it.

OMalley waited.

There was the time when we had the Syrian president in Edinburgh and some people had a go at him.

Yes. And you shot one of them.

I did. Not long after that there was an incident in the castle. I was there and armed, and I had to fire again. I hit him too.

Both these people died?

The first one died at the scene; the second was only wounded, but he died later in hospital, not directly of his wounds, something to do with the treatment. . something about an embolism, as I recall.

But were you trying to kill him?

I was trying to render him harmless. Since he was pointing a fucking Uzi at me at the time, that did call for something pretty terminal.

And this most recent episode?

There was a situation; I had no choice but to fire.

Were you in mortal danger yourself?

No, but someone else was. I fired, I hit, the captive got away.

The person you shot this time, did he die?

Yes, but Im not sure whether I killed him or not. His group escaped in a boat, which was later taken out by RAF action. They found three bodies, but it was a Humpty Dumpty situation.

What do you mean?

I mean that putting all the pieces back together was an impossible job.

I see.

Uncharacteristically, OMalley frowned, as if the words had conjured up a vision that he would rather not have seen. He took a sip from the coffee cup on his table as he looked at his patient.

What are you thinking, Kevin? Skinner asked him.

You tell me.

Youre thinking that for someone whos admitting to having shot three human beings, Im remarkably self-possessed. Youre thinking that youve examined psychopaths who reacted to their actions much as I have.

Crimes.

What?

Who reacted to their crimes: you avoided the use of the word.

So?

Do you feel remorse for these three deaths? Do you ever have nightmares?

Do their faces come back to haunt me, dyou mean?

Something like that.

In truth, Kevin, I dont remember what any of them even looked like. The last one I never saw, other than through a night-sight. . and then only the back of him. The DCC paused. Look, I have the odd bad dream, but theyre not like Im haunted. My nightmares are usually about what would have happened if things had gone the other way, if my gun had jammed, or if Id missed my shot.

Doesnt that make you worry that you might be a psychopathic personality?

A ball of almost tangible tension seemed to hang in the air as Skinner stared at his inquisitor. . Then it vanished, as he laughed.

Bollocks, man, Im no such thing. I react to situations in the way Im trained to; that doesnt make me a psycho. And you know why it doesnt just as well as I do. . at least I hope you do. Its because I care, Kevin. I care about society, I love my family, and I fear the impact on them if anything happened to me. Thats what gives me the strength to deal with these things, not some inner voice that says, Hey, Ive got a gun and a licence to shoot that bastard! Dont be fucking crazy, man.

Im a psychiatrist, OMalley retorted. Of course Im crazy, we all get that way in the end. Dont worry, Bob, your self-analysis is spot on. If it wasnt, Id be in a difficult position, for when I report to the chief constable Id have to recommend that you never had a firearm placed in your hand again, and maybe even that you were compulsorily retired.

Some might thank you for that, but Sir James Proud wouldnt. . I hope.

Its not long to his own retirement, so I guess that losing you is the last thing hed want. The psychiatrist paused. Getting back on topic, Bob, weve dealt with the effect this and other incidents have had on you, but what about your family? How has your wife dealt with them, and Alex, your daughter?

Skinners eyes narrowed. Im not sure that it is on topic. Why do you ask?

Again, OMalley seemed to lose a little of his self-possession; he shifted in his chair. Come on, Bob, he protested. My concern is with your total welfare, and your ability to function in a very responsible job. If people close to you are damaged by whats happening to you, its relevant.

Like hell it is. My family life is my own business, for better or worse. Did you ask Neil McIlhenney or Bandit Mackenzie that same question when you interviewed them?

Yes, I did, and they both gave me straight answers, unlike you.

What did they say?

Dont try to shift the ground. Thatll be included in my reports to you, as far as its relevant. Its you I want to talk about.

Why? Skinner demanded again. Have you been hearing things? From nowhere, there was suspicion in his voice. Has Jimmy been talking to you?

Bob, I havent a clue what you mean by that. OMalley seemed genuinely surprised. Maybe we should move on from psychopathology and consider paranoia.

No, lets not do that. You just touched on a sensitive area in my private life, thats all.

Do you want to talk about it? Indeed, can you talk about it?

Ah, you know both of us, so I dont see why not. The fact is, Kevin, that Sarah and I are splitting up; shes leaving me and going to set up a medical practice in New York. Mind you, he rushed to add, her decision has nothing to do with the stuff youre talking about. This is something thats been brewing for a while.

What about your children? I assume theyll be going with their mother.

Then youre assuming wrong. Were sharing custody; Mark, James Andrew, and Seonaid will live with me during the school term and spend their holidays with Sarah.

How do you feel about this?

Skinner shrugged his shoulders, an awkward movement since he was seated. I feel as well as can be expected: that would sum it up. I hate failure in any form, but failing at marriage is just about the worst. Were both being very civilised about it, though. A confrontational divorce wouldnt help anyone.