Chris Moyles - The Gospel According to Chris Moyles: The Story of a Man and His Mouth

CONTENTS

Motor mouth. Loud Mouth. Tubby DJ. Overpaid ego.

What is the truth? Who is Chris Moyles? And what does he have to say for himself when hes not on the radio? Who is this man they call The Saviour of Radio 1?

In The Gospel According to Chris Moyles, Chris dissects the world around him and tackles all sorts of subjects; from interviewing the worlds most famous celebrities to trying to find a parking space in his own street.

But youll also get to meet his family and friends and learn about how he went from teenage DJ on a psychiatric hospital radio show to being the nations favourite breakfast show DJ.

His is a life lived on and off air. And this book is a combination of both. Its funny, honest and gives Chris a platform to talk about his favourite subject... himself.

Ego? What ego?

Chris Moyles was born in Leeds in 1974. It was a time when 70s clothes and music was all the rage. The youngest son of two fantastic parents, Chris was encouraged to pursue his ambition to make it as a national radio broadcaster. Many people think this was the sign of two people who loved their son very much. Two people who really wanted to see their son fulfil his childhood dream. It wasnt. They were poor, lazy and greedy.

In 2003 Chris achieved his childhood ambition and was given the biggest show on the station, the legendary Breakfast show. In less than 2 years, he had added over a million new listeners and made the show the number one show in London for 15-24 year olds. This was a first for Radio 1. Currently the show has over 8 million people tuning in every week.

His parents have received nothing.

The first time I heard about Moylesy was when I was going to do an interview with him for the afternoon show, and a couple of people warned me he could be a bit tricky. What did they mean, tricky? I think what they meant was: butt-clenchingly honest, willing to take the piss out of himself and to take the piss out of you, and unable to fawn over someone if they start annoying him. Think Halle Berry. Yes, I suppose that does make Moylesy a bit tricky but its why I listen. Hes a genius. Just check out his show and youll see for yourself. I had the great pleasure of giving him his GQ award, and a few months later he gave me a Glamour award (how lovely) and he said, Shes done some really great shows and shes also done some real rubbish. You see? Incapable of bollocks. (Although, obviously that is bollocks.) And he has an amazing knowledge of music. Any track enquiries, and he is always the first person I call. Usually at some incredibly inappropriate time.

My most special moment, which I shall owe Moylesy big time for the rest of my life, was when Carlos Bernard (Almeida in 24) was on the show. I am a huge 24 fan and, if Im honest, a huge Almeida fan... hes hot.

So I hear hes on and start frantically sending Moylesy texts from the school car park about how much I love him and how my ringtone is the phone ring from 24... all sad fan stuff... and then start driving home. After the next song Chris says, Have you heard of Big Brother? I get very excited. Carlos says yes. Chris says, Well, the host of Big Brother has been bombarding me with texts about you. And he proceeded to read them out, which was very embarrassing. And then he said, Shall we call her? I try not to crash as I go into spasms trying to find somewhere to pull over. I am actually sitting there listening to them call me and I am staring at my phone, waiting. Then the 24 ringtone starts. I pick up the phone and its Almeida on the other end! OH MY GOD... HOW AMAZING IS THAT?

If you are not a 24 fan, its not amazing at all, but it made my year. I went a bit funny. Moylesy even said, You sound all weird, but I was just speechless.

Chris has become a good friend and I think the sun shines out of his jacksy.

Davina McCall, 2006

HELLO. MY NAME is Chris Moyles and I am the author of this book! Ive never written a book before, but chances are that neither have you, so were kind of in the same position. In fact, I have never even tried to write a book before.

Ill tell you why and how and all that stuff, after I have explained something first. I love to give background information when telling stories. I like to explain who people are and what theyre like before telling a story. I just think it makes for a better reaction when people can imagine them in their heads and get an image of them. This will, I hope, excuse often long-winded stories that get off the subject. With that in mind, I will now try to explain quickly how the hell I got to write a book.

I am a radio DJ on BBC Radio 1, every morning from 7 to 10 a.m.

Most national radio DJs have an agent.

I have an agent.

An agents job is to find you the right work at the right price and manage your career.

They actually take a percentage of your wage and wait for the phone to ring.

The phone rang; it was some publishing company.

I meet with the publishing company (a nice girl called Claire).

She asks me if I have ever thought about writing a book.

I say yes and tell her the idea.

She tells me to go away and try to write twenty pages.

So here I am. Ive almost finished the first eight pages. This shit is easy.

Now my idea was to write a fake autobiography. I thought it would be funny. Then I thought that I would make half of it the truth, and the other half all lies. However, after leaving the meeting with the publishing people, I decided just to write a book explaining how to get a publishing deal with a top publishing house. Now thats done, I only have nineteen pages left to write. Told you this shit was easy!

They gave me some books to look at for ideas (I didnt, I sold them). I asked them about the rules of books, page numbers, photographs, etc. For example, any photographs used in this book have to be in black and white because this is cheaper. What an incentive to get me to write a book. I hadnt written a word and theyre already telling me theyve got no money and any money they do have is not going to be wasted on colour pictures in my book! Anyway we had a good chat, and then I left their office and went home. It got me thinking about books and the fun you can have. So lets play a while first before I tell you more stuff.

THIS ISNT GOING to be a normal autobiography. Ive read a few and they often contain lots of boring pages. Things about where they grew up and what their family life was like and those types of things. But I know there are some people who like to read that stuff, so here goes.

I was born in Leeds in West Yorkshire on 22 February 1974. My mum and dad were and still are brilliant parents. I have an older brother called Kieron. Hes cool. I was raised as a Roman Catholic and went to three schools: a primary school run by nuns, a middle school called St Kevins (my radio partner Dave has always found that very amusing and refers to St Kevin as the patron saint of car jacking), and high school, being the place I did my GCSEs. There you go. All sorted.