Tom Stoppard - The Dissolution of Dominic Boot

A Play for Radio

Characters

DOMINIC

VIVIAN

TAXI DRIVER

SHEPTON

MOTHER

FATHER

GIRL CLERK

MAN CLERK

MISS BLIGH

CARTWRIGHT

Fade in street traffic.

VIVIAN: Well, thanks for the lunch oh golly, its raining.

DOMINIC: Better run for it.

VIVIAN: Dont be silly.

(Up) Hey, taxi!

DOMINIC: I say, Viv.

VIVIAN: Come on, you can drop me off.

(To driver) Just round the corner, Derby Street Library.

(They get in taxi drives)

DOMINIC: Look, Vivian, I havent got.

VIVIAN: Dash it thats taken about ten shillings out of my two-guinea hairdo honestly, Im furious. Dont you ever have an umbrella?

DOMINIC: Not when its raining.

VIVIAN: Didnt I give you one for your birthday?

DOMINIC: No, it was your birthday.

VIVIAN: Why did I give it to you on my birthday?

DOMINIC: No, it was I who gave it to you on my birthday. Your birthday. Vivian, please stop talking about umbrellas. The thing is.

VIVIAN: If were going out tonight, Ill have to have some repairs on my hair, its beginning to straggle. Another pound down the drain.

DOMINIC: Im afraid I cant tonight, Vivian, I promised to see my mother.

VIVIAN: What about?

DOMINIC: Um, about my father.

VIVIAN: What about him?

DOMINIC: Nothing. Just keeping her in touch.

VIVIAN: You never see your father.

DOMINIC: Well, we just sort of talk about him.

VIVIAN: I thought you may be seeing her about us getting married.

DOMINIC: Oh, no.

VIVIAN: What do you mean by that?

DOMINIC: I mean, yes.

VIVIAN: Will we have enough by Christmas, or Spring at the latest? After all, youve been saving now for months.

DOMINIC: Incidentally, Vivian.

VIVIAN: Oh, no! Its half-past two Dominic, well have to start eating some-where with quicker service. Anyway, Im fed up with Italian. I dont know why we always go to Marcellos, do you?

DOMINIC: No. Only.

VIVIAN: (Up) Just there, next lamppost on the right.

(Down) By the way, youre on the black list youve had those six books overdue for weeks what do you do with them?

(Up) Thank you.

(Down) Well, Ill see you tonight.

(Opens door)

DOMINIC: I told you.

VIVIAN: Oh yes tomorrow then, Ill see you in Marcellos. Goodbye darling. Oh no, not Marcellos. Oh, I dont know phone me, will you?

DOMINIC: (Slightly desperate) Vivian

(Shes gone)

(Thinks:) One and ninepence. Extras sixpence.

(Coin counting:)

Sixpence, shilling, one and a penny, one and two, three, threepence halfpenny. threepence halfpenny.

DRIVER: Waiting till the rain stops?

DOMINIC: No, um, the Metropolitan Bank, Blackfriars, please.

Cut. Bank.

DOMINIC: In ones, please.

GIRL CLERK: Oh, Mr Boot, would you mind stepping down to the end of the counter there.

DOMINIC: What for? Oh ah, righto. (Humming)

(Walking.)

Hello, Mr Honeydew.

SHEPTON: Im Mr Shepton.

DOMINIC: Oh really. I thought you were the manager.

SHEPTON: The manager is Mr Bartlett.

DOMINIC: Oh yes, Im always getting it wrong.

SHEPTON: Well. yes, well, Mr Bartlett has asked me.

DOMINIC: Over the top, am I?

SHEPTON: Youre forty-three pounds beyond your limit, Mr Boot. Im afraid that we have had to pass back two cheques received today from ah Marsellos er Markellos.

DOMINIC: Marchellos, Mr Sheppard.

SHEPTON: Shepton.

Cut. Taxi moving.

DOMINIC: (Thinks:) Three and three. three and six.

DRIVER: The Irish Widows International Bank is that on the left here?

DOMINIC: No, other side. Thanks.

(Thinks:) Three and six, plus six, four bob.

Cut. Bank.

DOMINIC: In ones, please.

CLERK: Oh, good afternoon, Mr Boot. Would you have a word with Mr Honeydew?

Cut. DOMINIC slamming taxi door.

DOMINIC: Co-operative Wool and Synthetic Trust Bank in High Street, Ken, please.

DRIVER: You a bank robber, are you?

DOMINIC: In a modest way. Please hurry, Ive got to cash a cheque before they close.

(Taxi starts moving.)

Cut to traffic.

DRIVER: I did my best.

DOMINIC: Dammit.

DRIVER: Six and nine.

DOMINIC: Ah, would you mind taking a cheque?

Cut. A door is flung open.

MISS BLIGH: (Very remote, quite detached) Good afternoon, Mr Boot. Mr Cartwright has been asking.

DOMINIC: In a minute can you lend me ten bob Ive got a taxi.

MISS BLIGH: Oh Mr Boot, what a pity you didnt come earlier. Ive just spent it all on stamps five pounds worth, Mr Boot.

DOMINIC: Hang on.

(Out door cross pavement)

I say, do you take stamps?

DRIVER: Yes, if you like. Green Stamps, are they?

DOMINIC: All colours. I mean theyre stamps. I dont know what colour they are. Stamps!

DRIVER: Do you mean like for letters?

DOMINIC: Thats right, and parcels. Stamps.

DRIVER: Do me a favour.

(Back across pavement through door.)

DOMINIC: No good.

MISS BLIGH: Oh, what isnt, Mr Boot? Oh, youre terribly wet, is it raining?

(DOMINICthrough another door.)

DOMINIC: Im sorry to trouble you, Mr Cartwright.

CARTWRIGHT: Ive been waiting forty-five minutes to trouble you, Mr Boot. Now look here, Im going out for the rest of the afternoon, but I want to pick up the Lexington figures to take home, so please have them ready by six. Well, look to it.

DOMINIC: Mr Cartwright could you lend me ten shillings.

Cut to taxi moving.

DRIVER: Nice area. What number are you?

DOMINIC: Forty-eight. On the left.

DRIVER: You use taxis a lot, dont you?

DOMINIC: Yes, hardly ever. I mean no, I do.

(Thinks:) Fourteen shillings. and six.

(Taxi pulls up)

Thanks, Ill be out in a minute.

DOMINIC: (Panting, muttering) Fourteen and six, fourteen and six. property of the North Thames Gas Board. oh well. wheres that poker. wardrobe, wardrobe ah! North Thames, here goes, uh.

(Breaks open gas meter coins.)

One, two, four, five, six, seven, ten, ten and six, ten and six. oh no, damn. oh God.