Tom Stoppard - Tom Stoppard Plays 5

in order of appearance

Thomasina Coverly
aged thirteen, later sixteen

Septimus Hodge
her tutor, aged twenty-two, later twenty-five

Jellaby
a butler, middle-aged

Ezra Chater
a poet, aged thirty-one

Richard Noakes
a landscape architect, middle-aged

Lady Croom
middle thirties

Capt. Brice, RN
middle thirties

Hannah Jarvis
an author, late thirties

Chlo Coverly
aged eighteen

Bernard Nightingale
a don, late thirties

Valentine Coverly
aged twenty-five to thirty

Gus Coverly
aged fifteen

Augustus Coverly
aged fifteen

Arcadia was first performed at the Lyttelton Theatre, Royal National Theatre, on 13 April 1993. The cast was as follows:

Thomasina Coverly Emma Fielding
Septimus Hodge Rufus Sewell
Jellaby Allan Mitchell
Ezra Chater Derek Hutchinson
Richard Noakes Sidney Livingstone
Lady Croom Harriet Walter
Captain Brice, RN Graham Sinclair
Hannah Jarvis Felicity Kendal
Chlo Coverly Harriet Harrison
Bernard Nightingale Bill Nighy
Valentine Coverly Samuel West
Gus Coverly, Augustus Coverly Timothy Matthews

Director Trevor Nunn
Designer Mark Thompson
Lighting Paul Pyant
Music Jeremy Sams

A room on the garden front of a very large country house in Derbyshire in April 1809. Nowadays, the house would be called a stately home. The upstage wall is mainly tall, shapely, uncurtained windows, one or more of which work as doors. Nothing much need be said or seen of the exterior beyond. We come to learn that the house stands in the typical English park of the time. Perhaps we see an indication of this, perhaps only light and air and sky.

The room looks bare despite the large table which occupies the centre of it. The table, the straight-backed chairs and, the only other item of furniture, the architects stand or reading stand, would all be collectable pieces now but here, on an uncarpeted wood floor, they have no more pretension than a schoolroom, which is indeed the main use of this room at this time. What elegance there is, is architectural, and nothing is impressive but the scale. There is a door in each of the side walls. These are closed, but one of the french windows is open to a bright but sunless morning.

There are two people, each busy with books and paper and pen and ink, separately occupied. The pupil is Thomasina Coverly, aged 13. The tutor is Septimus Hodge, aged 22. Each has an open book. Hers is a slim mathematics primer. His is a handsome thick quarto, brand new, a vanity production, with little tapes to tie when the book is closed. His loose papers, etc, are kept in a stiff-backed portfolio which also ties up with tapes.

Septimus has a tortoise which is sleepy enough to serve as a paperweight.

Elsewhere on the table there is an old-fashioned theodolite and also some other books stacked up.

Thomasina Septimus, what is carnal embrace?

Septimus Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing ones arms around a side of beef.

Thomasina Is that all?

Septimus No a shoulder of mutton, a haunch of venison well hugged, an embrace of grouse caro, carnis; feminine; flesh.

Thomasina Is it a sin?

Septimus Not necessarily, my lady, but when carnal embrace is sinful it is a sin of the flesh, QED . We had caro in our Gallic Wars The Britons live on milk and meat lacte et carne vivunt. I am sorry that the seed fell on stony ground.

Thomasina That was the sin of Onan, wasnt it, Septimus?

Septimus Yes. He was giving his brothers wife a Latin lesson and she was hardly the wiser after it than before. I thought you were finding a proof for Fermats last theorem.

Thomasina It is very difficult, Septimus. You will have to show me how.

Septimus If I knew how, there would be no need to ask you. Fermats last theorem has kept people busy for a hundred and fifty years, and I hoped it would keep you busy long enough for me to read Mr Chaters poem in praise of love with only the distraction of its own absurdities.

Thomasina Our Mr Chater has written a poem?

Septimus He believes he has written a poem, yes. I can see that there might be more carnality in your algebra than in Mr Chaters Couch of Eros.

Thomasina Oh, it was not my algebra. I heard Jellaby telling cook that Mrs Chater was discovered in carnal embrace in the gazebo.

Septimus (pause) Really? With whom, did Jellaby happen to say?

Thomasinaconsidersthiswithapuzzledfrown.

Thomasina What do you mean, with whom?

Septimus With what? Exactly so. The idea is absurd. Where did this story come from?

Thomasina Mr Noakes.

Septimus Mr Noakes!

Thomasina Papas landskip gardener. He was taking bearings in the garden when he saw through his spyglass Mrs Chater in the gazebo in carnal embrace.

Septimus And do you mean to tell me that Mr Noakes told the butler?

Thomasina No. Mr Noakes told Mr Chater. Jellaby was told by the groom, who overheard Mr Noakes telling Mr Chater, in the stable yard.

Septimus Mr Chater being engaged in closing the stable door.

Thomasina What do you mean, Septimus?

Septimus So, thus far, the only people who know about this are Mr Noakes the landskip architect, the groom, the butler, the cook and, of course, Mrs Chaters husband, the poet.

Thomasina And Arthur who was cleaning the silver, and the bootboy. And now you.

Septimus Of course. What else did he say?

Thomasina Mr Noakes?

Septimus No, not Mr Noakes. Jellaby. You heard Jellaby telling the cook.

Thomasina Cook hushed him almost as soon as he started. Jellaby did not see that I was being allowed to finish yesterdays upstairs rabbit pie before I came to my lesson. I think you have not been candid with me, Septimus. A gazebo is not, after all, a meat larder.

Septimus I never said my definition was complete.

Thomasina Is carnal embrace kissing?

Septimus Yes.

Thomasina And throwing ones arms around Mrs Chater?

Septimus Yes. Now, Fermats last theorem

Thomasina I thought as much. I hope you are ashamed.

Septimus I, my lady?

Thomasina If you do not teach me the true meaning of things, who will?

Septimus Ah. Yes, I am ashamed. Carnal embrace is sexual congress, which is the insertion of the male genital organ into the female genital organ for purposes of procreation and pleasure. Fermats last theorem, by contrast, asserts that when x, y and z are whole numbers each raised to power of n, the sum of the first two can never equal the third when n is greater than 2.

Pause.

Thomasina Eurghhh!

Septimus Nevertheless, that is the theorem.

Thomasina It is disgusting and incomprehensible. Now when I am grown to practise it myself I shall never do so without thinking of you.

Septimus Thank you very much, my lady. Was Mrs Chater down this morning?