Ryan Westfield - Pushing On

Weve got to get another vehicle, said Max. He was sitting up front in the passenger seat. He spoke his words with difficulty. His face was starting to swell up badly. Were not going to be able to store enough gear in here. Were going to have to split up and take two vehicles.

No shit, muttered Chad.

Chad, Mandy, Sadie, and James were crammed into the back of the Ford Bronco. It wasnt really big enough for them. Especially not with the gear left over from the Broncos original owners.

Neither Georgia or Max had explained exactly what had happened. Theyd just said that theyd gotten out alive. That was the important thing, said Max.

Say something useful, Chad, said Mandy. If youre going to say anything at all.

Theyd left the granary and were headed into Albion, the tiny town in the northwest corner of Pennsylvania. So far, they hadnt seen anyone. No people and no vehicles. The town, so far, seemed empty.

But they hadnt yet gotten into the center of it.

This is weird, said Georgia. She was driving. I cant believe theres no one here.

They could be inside their houses, said Mandy.

There arent any cars either, said Georgia. Its like everyones fled.

Could be, said Max. Lets keep our eyes peeled.

It was nerve racking, driving through the abandoned streets. There were houses all around them. They looked empty. But Chad knew that behind every window there could lurk someone with a gun. At every side street, Chad looked up and down both ways. His heart was pounding. He was just waiting for the attack that he knew would come.

We shouldnt be driving into town, said Chad. Weve got to get back out into the rural areas. Isnt that what youre always saying, Max?

We need another vehicle, said Mandy.

Why was she always sticking up for Max and his ideas?

Chads mind wasnt in a great place. He realized it, too. He realized he was getting bitter about Max making all the calls. Logically, he knew that Max tended to make the right decisions. It made sense that he was in charge, if you could call it that. Still, Chads mind was sinking into a dark place, and he couldnt shake the bitterness.

Chad knew he needed to calm down. He felt like his skin was crawling. His feet were freezing even though it wasnt cold out. The adrenaline was coursing through him.

Theyd been through so much already. Who knew when the next attack would come. Who knew what terrible obstacle theyd have to face next.

And Chad knew he wasnt ready. He wasnt ready for any of it.

Chad was sitting with his hands around his bent knees, trying his best to look out the dirty Bronco windows.

James and Sadie were talking about something. Chad wasnt sure what. He wasnt paying attention.

Chad had lost the thread of the overall conversation between the other adults. They were probably taking about getting another vehicle.

The answer came to Chad by accident.

Georgia took a sharp turn. Something rolled out underneath Maxs seat.

Chad knew right away what it was. Hed developed hawkish eyes for pills and drugs. After all, hed spent most of his life high or trying to get high. By whatever means necessary.

It was a prescription pill bottle of Vicodin, Chads favorite drug. It was the drug hed been addicted to for years. He didnt even know how many. Max had given Chads Vicodin to the dying man, and Chad had suffered horrible withdrawal. Hed enjoyed being clean. He really had. Hed been a different person.

But the stress was too much.

Chad palmed the rolling orange prescription bottle before anyone else even noticed it. His hands shook as he undid the safety cap. He shook a couple pills into his hand surreptitiously. He didnt bother to count them.

He had a moment of pause before he swallowed the pills. After all, the logical part of his mind told him not to do it. He couldnt go back to that place, that disgusting filth that was the addiction. Hed beaten it. He really had.

But while Chad had gone through withdrawal and gotten clean, hed never developed the coping skills needed to get through a stressful situation clean and sober.

And there couldnt have been anything more stressful that the collapse of modern society.

And the collapse wasnt over.

Hell, it might have just been beginning.

Chad swallowed the pill dry.

Almost instantly, Chad felt relief. Of course, he knew that the drug wouldnt actually get into his system for about another thirty minutes. It was mostly just placebo. Psychological relief, and nothing more. But Chad would take it.

His heart rate calmed down. His body became warmer. He felt ready to deal with whatever was coming. With pills, he could do anything.

Except when he could do nothing.

Chad knew the pills would come back to bite him in the ass. Probably in the worst possible moment. But that was later. And he just wanted to feel better now.

There isnt a single car, said Georgia.

Lets turn around, Mom, said Sadie.

Weve got to find another vehicle, said Max. We have to keep going.

They were in the center of the town. Georgia had stopped at the main intersection.

Everything looked normal for a small town. There was a barbershop on one side of the street. A butcher. A small grocery store. Even a gas station.

But there wasnt anyone there.

And there werent any cars. Not a single one.

Lets drive through the rest, said Max. Weve gotta find a car somewhere. Even if everyone fled in their cars, theres bound to be one left over.

Yeah, said Mandy. Arent there like five cars for every American or something?

Something like that, said Georgia. Do you really think we should keep going, Max? Maybe we should head out. Im getting a weird feeling from this place.

If we dont find a vehicle now, said Max. I dont know where were going to get one. This is perfect. Seems completely abandoned.

Georgia drove on through all the side streets off the main drag. The houses were small and tightly packed together.

This had never been a wealthy town. The houses had been for steelworkers, until the industry had changed. The economic devastation was palpable. The houses were in disrepair. The shutters were old and the windows cracked. The lawns were often neat and tidy, but the grass had died in patches, and thered been no money to replace it or time to water it.

Chad was starting to feel really good. The Vicodin was kicking in. He felt warm and fuzzy inside. This was the feeling that hed been craving for so long. He felt like he was on top of the world, like he could accomplish anything.

Of course, he knew that his reflexes would be slowed. His thought process would be muddled. If a crisis came, he knew that he couldnt rely on himself to make the right decision. Unfortunately, the drugs would trick him, and hed think he knew what he was doing. A dangerous combination.

There arent any cars, said Georgia.

Try the next street, said Max. Weve got to keep looking.

Chads anxiety had left him. He felt happy for the first time in a long, long while.

Sure, it was a trick. It was just deception. But he didnt care.

Look down there, said James, as they turned down a narrow street packed with houses. Theres something on one of the lawns.

As they got closer, they got a better look at it.

It was a car all right, but it wasnt even on the road. It was on someones front lawn, up on cinder blocks.

Thats not going anywhere, said Max.

Do you see that? said Mandy.

What?

That sign down there in that front yard. Another block down.

A sign? We cant drive a sign, said Chad, giggling at the thought of trying to pack three or four people onto a sign and then take it down the highway as if it was a van.