Dawson Patrick - The beer geek handbook : living a life ruled by beer

This book is dedicated to craft brewers everywhere particularly those who make really rare, barrel-aged beer.

The natural path for every gluten-tolerant adult should lead them to falling in love with beer. This wonderful result of hops, malt, yeast, and water can produce some of lifes finest sensory pleasures, flooding the brain, tongue, and olfactory system with waves of enjoyment. For decades, however, the makers of watered-down factory lagers slowly brainwashed the general public into thinking that beer was just a cheap, semi-palatable way for the masses to achieve drunkenness.

Fortunately, that time has passed, and a new era, full of discovery, creativity, and excitement, has dawned over this incredible beverage. There is no better time than the present to explore and enjoy beer, and anybody with a functioning liver would do themselves a disservice not to take the first steps of the journey to becoming a full-fledged Beer Geek.

Within these pages lies all you need to be safely guided down the path of enlightenment. Even the most veteran beer connoisseur will find valuable knowledge here: how to flawlessly pull off a beer tasting, talk shop with the worst of beery know-it-alls, understand the proper etiquette of bottle shares, gracefully correct uninformed bartenders, and more all in single-serving portions so you can take it in without getting tipsy. Most importantly, youll be able to pull off all of this while coming across as an activist for beer, rather than a snob.

So stop being intimidated by the burgeoning beer scene simply because you dont know what a firkin is or how to pronounce gueuze. While all Beer Geeks give the impression of being weaned on imperial stouts, their first (and many subsequent) beers were almost certainly of the lite variety too. We all have to learn to wade into the deep end... and you now hold in your hands the perfect floatie.

T o a Beer Geek, beer is not simply something to drink, but a lifestyle. Just as tennis players would never consider their sport simply exercise, or sports-car buffs view a Ferrari as mere transportation, Beer Geeks see beer not as a means to get drunk but as something to be analyzed, researched, discussed, photographed, cataloged, and then, finally, consumed (see the ). Beer books fill their shelves, rare glassware is displayed proudly, and pennies are pinched to save up for a trip to Belgium.

While your Uncle Roy can immediately tell you that his favorite beer is Bud Light, when asked the same question a Beer Geek will struggle, asking qualifiers like country of origin, applicable weather, hop content, and sessionability before eventually settling on 12 definitive answers with an accompanying flow chart. Beer seeps into all aspects of life, resulting in dogs named Hunahpu and children named Simcoe.

Beer Geeks by Region

Pacific Northwestern Beer Geek

Whether its felling timber or slaying whales (rare beers), the Jacks and Jills of the PacNW always bring it.

Midwestern Beer Geek

The midwestern Beer Geek knows the value of hard work and uses it to promote the regions brews to epic proportions.

Southern Beer Geek

The fearless southern Beer Geek would wrestle an alligator for that rare one-off DIPA.

New England Beer Geek

This hardy sort survives the brutal noreasters with the help of the regions juicy, tropical IPAs.

Rocky Mountain Beer Geek

After shredding the slopes, only the finest session beers will do for this outdoorsy breed.

California Beer Geek

This relaxed, ocean-loving variety is particularly adept at whale spotting (and drinking).

It is important to understand that not all who obsess over beer are Beer Geeks. A fine but definitive line exists in the beery arena that separates the Beer Geeks from the Beer Snobs. While Beer Geeks will give the impression of knowing all (and not recalling a time when they didnt), they dont gloat or impose their knowledge like Beer Snobs do. Information is given gladly, but never in a condescending fashion.

Additionally, although the world of beer certainly has its specialized lingo (see ), when a Beer Snob tries to impress the uninitiated with highfalutin language it only serves to isolate. Beer Geeks, on the other hand, learn to effortlessly tailor their vocabulary to the geekiness level of the person to whom they are speaking. For example, if you asked veteran Beer Geeks if they wanted a pour of CBS, they would immediately know that you are referring to Founders Brewing Breakfast Stout that has been aged in used maple syrup bourbon barrels. If asking a nonBeer Geek the same question, youd instead simply ask if they wanted to try a strong stout. A Beer Geek is aware that the beer will speak for itself. If the nonBeer Geek enjoys it (and they damn well better it is CBS for crying out loud), a Beer Geek will use the opportunity to explain that it was aged in whiskey barrels, how that lends a vanilla-like presence, and so on.

To a Beer Geek, the more beer activism in the world, the better a place it will be.

To a Beer Snob, beer knowledge is something to be hoarded, and pulled out only to put a newbie in his place. A Beer Geek uses that same knowledge to show the uninitiated the light.

This all stems from a shared understanding within the Beer Geek community. Call it a list of commandments, if you will. This value system of sorts is something of an unspoken code, never really discussed but rather absorbed through interaction with fellow Beer Geeks, internet forums, and the like. Veteran Beer Geeks would have a hard time verbalizing them if pressed, but these tenets are second nature, like always serving a barleywine in a snifter.