Molli Fitc - Raccoon Racketeer. Himalayan Hazard. Meowy Christmas Mayhem. Hoppy Holiday Homicide. Retriever Ransom. Lawless Litter. Legal Seagull. Black Cat Benefit

7. RACCOON RACKETEER

Chapter One

Hey, my names Angie Russo, and I own one-half of a private investigation firm here in beautiful Blueberry Bay, Maine.

The other half belongs to my cat, Octaviusor Octo-Cat for short. It may not seem like his nickname keeps things short, but trust me on that one. Every time he tells anyone his full name, he always adds at least one new title to the end. The most recent version is Octavius Maxwell Ricardo Edmund Frederick Fulton Russo, Esq. P.I.

Like I said, its a mouthful.

And hes kind of a handful, too.

While my spoiled tabby is undoubtedly my best friend, he does have a way of making my life harder. For instance, hes been catnapped, ordered to court for arbitration, and even repeatedly threatened to kill our new dog.

Did I mention that all happened in the span of just one month?

But thats Octo-Cat for you.

Love him or hate him, theres no denying hes a true individual.

And even though hes just about as stubborn as they come, he does occasionally change his mind about things.

That new dog we adopted? Shes a sweet rescue Chihuahua named Paisley. She liked him from the start, but it took Octo-Cat much longer to warm up to her. Now I am proud to report that the two have become close friends. In fact, one of my cats favorite hobbies has become stalking and pouncing on his dog and then wrestling her to the ground.

Yes, his dog. Thats how much the tables have turned these past few weeks.

Together, the three of us live with my grandmother, Nan. Although shes the main one who raised me, she lives in my house.

And I live in my cats house.

Yup, Octo-Cat is a trust fund kitty, and his stipend is more than generous enough to pay the mortgage on our exquisite New England manor house.

Its a bit ridiculous, Ill be the first to admit that. But, hey, when life gives you lemonade, its best if you drink up and enjoy!

Speaking of, Ive been dating my dream guy for about seven weeks now. His name is Charles Longfellow, III, and hes my dream guy for good reason. Not only is he the sole partner at the law firm where I used to work, but hes also incredibly smart, kind, attentive, handsomeand, okay, I may as well just admit itsexy.

Not that weve

Anyway!

I can talk to my cat. I probably should have mentioned that earlier, seeing as its the most unusual thing about me.

I can talk to my dog, too, and most animals now.

Long story short, I got electrocuted at a will reading, and when I regained consciousness, I heard Octo-Cat making fun of me. Once he realized I could understand him, he recruited me to solve his late owners murder, and the rest is history.

From there, we realized two things. One, we make a really good crime-solving team, and two, we were stuck with each other for better or worse. Usually, things are better, but he still has his hissy fits on occasionand so do I, for that matter.

And I guess that brings me to today.

Today marks the two-month mark since we first opened our P.I. outfit for business, and in that time, weve had exactly zero clients. Even my normally optimistic nan cant spin this one in a positive light.

No one wants to hire us, and Im not sure why.

Im well-liked in town, and its not like people know I can actually talk to animals. They think including my cat as a partner is just a gimmick, and I prefer it that way, honestly.

But Im starting to worry that well never bring any business in.

At what point do we give up on our entrepreneurial enterprise?

Octo-Cat is pretty happy sleeping in the sun most of the day, but I prefer to have more in my life. I even quit my former job as a paralegal to make sure I had enough time for all the investigative work I felt certain would fall into my lap the moment we opened for business.

Yeah, I was more than a little wrong about that one.

I need to figure out something, and fast, if I want to keep my operation afloat, but how can I trust my instincts when they were so wrong before?

Heres hoping Octo-Cat has a bright idea hed be willing to share

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It was Wednesday morning, and Id spent the better part of the last two days handing out flyers to any person, business, or animal who would take one. Out of desperation, Id even visited parking lots and shoved the brightly colored papers touting my credentials under the windshield wipers of each car in the lot.

Still, not one person had called to share a case with me.

Not one.

Nan had left the house early to serve a volunteer shift picking up litter around town. Wed both agreed the animal shelter, while in need, wasnt the best place for her to share her generous heartbecause we both knew shed end up adopting almost every dog and cat in that place.

Our house was already full enough, thank you very much.

I sat in the front room of the house, sipping a can of Diet Coke. The coffee maker still scared me silly, given that the last time Id used one Id been electrocuted, and tea just wasnt the same without Nan to keep me company.

Paisley and Octo-Cat scampered around the house in their perpetual game of tag, and I wracked my brain for any kind of idea that would help get us some clients.

The electronic pet door buzzed, and both animals ran outside.

I smiled and watched them zigzag through the yard. Mid-autumn had hit Maine, and now most of the fire-colored leaves had fallen from the trees. While I tried my best to keep up with the raking, it wasnt easy given the fact that an enormous forest flanked my property on two sides.

Leaves blew into our yard all the time.

Like right now.

I sighed as a gust so strong I could practically see it swept through the trees and deposited at least five landscaping bags full of leaves on the front lawn. Leaves of every color carpeted the greenish-yellow grassred, orange, yellow turquoise?

Mommy! Mommy! Paisley cried from outside, and I went running. The sweet and innocent Chihuahua got upset fairly easily, but her small size also made her incredibly vulnerable. I never took any chances when it came to her safety, and neither did Nan or Octo-Cat.

One of us was always with her whenever she ventured outside.

And even though I knew Octo-Cat was out there now, I still needed to make sure nothing had happened to frighten her.

Both Paisley and Octo-Cat were waiting for me on the porch when I stepped outside. Paisley even had a turquoise piece of paper clamped within her jaws.

Whats this? I asked, taking it from her.

Its one of your papers, Mommy! the little dog cried proudly.

I glanced at the bright paper in my hands and then back out to the yard where dozens, maybe even hundreds, more had mixed with the autumnal leaves.

She was right. This was my paper. In fact, it was the flyer for our P.I. firm that I had so painstakingly distributed the last couple of days. Id handed out every single one that Nan had printed for usId made sure of it.

So why had they all followed me home?

And how?

A squeaky laugh underneath the porch gave me a pretty good idea.

Pringle! I yelled, stomping my feet as hard as I could to try to force the raccoon out of there.

I knew he was mad at me ever since Id banned him from entering the house, but to sabotage my business? Really?

Chapter Two

Pringle! Show yourself! I cried, stomping so hard the impact raced up my foot and all the way through my calf. I tried to be fair to the animals that had made themselves part of my world, to accept them for their unique selves. Most of the time that was easy

But this particular raccoon was driving me straight in the direction of the nearest asylum.

His laughter continued from under the porch, but Pringle made no move to answer my call. I had half a mind to widen the hole he used as a doorway and climb under there myself when Octo-Cat graciously intervened.