Praagh - Unfinished business: what the dead can teach us about life

Guilt

Regrets

Love Versus Fear

The Blame Game

Forgive and Forget

Karma

Overcoming Obstacles

Taking the High Road

Clarity of Consciousness

Transcendence

Living Your Life

Finished Business

G inny Meyer looked at her watch. The large hand closed in on the eleven while the small one touched the five. Neil would be coming home from work any second now, she thought. Ben wouldnt be alone for too long. Besides, Ben and his little friend Andrew were glued to the television set. Their eyes were probably glazed over as they watched the latest installment of the wildly successful Japanese cartoon Pokmon. For kids lost in the world of Pokmon, moms are just background noise. The boys didnt even notice Ginny when she told them she was going over to Nancys house for a few minutes. Just as Ben was obsessed with his cartoon, Ginny was obsessed with cooking. She just finished making a brand-new turkey meatloaf recipe and couldnt wait to get Nancys reaction to it.

Nancy was the ideal next-door neighbor. Besides sharing recipes, she would often lend a listening ear or be available to grab something at the market or pick up the kids from school. In a way, it was like having a sister close by. This warmed Ginnys heart, because her own sister lived two thousand miles away, and Nancy became the perfect substitute. Unfortunately, due to family, church, and work obligations, their together moments were sporadic, so what little time they could muster to catch up on girl talk was sacred.

Nancy washed down her bite of meatloaf with some light, dry Chablis. She never drank during the day, but this was a special occasionthe girls hadnt shared a moment together in over a month. Nancy smiled warmly at Ginny, and immediately Ginny knew her friend approved of her latest gastronomical creation. Ginny was so proud of herself.

The sound of a car door slamming brought them both back from their culinary moment. Ginny knew that it was probably Neil. As much as she would have loved to finish her visit with Nancy, she got an immediate pang in her stomach. She knew Neil would be wondering where she was, and he may not have fully appreciated the concept of running next door to share a new recipe. The friends hugged good-bye as Nancy told Ginny, I understand. All part of the job.

Ginny sprinted across the front lawn to her house. She looked to see if Neils truck was in the driveway. As she reached for the front door, it suddenly snapped open and little Andrew practically ran right through her. He turned and stopped, looked up at her for a moment, and continued his race down the walkway. Ginny didnt give much thought to what might be bothering the little boy. Maybe Ben said something that hurt his feelings.

Ginny entered the house and heard the television blaring way too loud. She yelled out for Ben and Neil, then grabbed the remote and turned down the sound. Instantly there was a deafening silence. Everything seemed to stand still. She walked over to the staircase and repeatedly called out their names. Nothing. Ginnys insides began to tumble. Something was wrong.

She heard a grunt upstairs, and she sprinted up the steps calling out for Neil to answer. As she reached the top landing, she was thrown back by a bloodcurdling scream coming out of Bens room. When she looked inside the room, she saw the unthinkable. In front of her was a blood-drenched Neil holding the lifeless body of their son. Neil was staring at the ceiling screaming in agony. Bullets were strewn on the floor next to Neils nine-millimeter revolver, the gun Ginny demanded he hide just two days earlier, so their son wouldnt play with it. But it was too late. Words were impossible, feelings immeasurable. They both tugged at the small boys frame, begging for his life, but he was long gone.

And so began the longest day of their lives.

T he story you have just read is horrifica fatal mistake. Its hard to believe that such things happen, yet they do more times than we can imagine. I have chosen this particular story because, although it is not the typical situation in which parents lose a child, it is one that has always stayed with me. There were so many layers of guilt, accusation, and shame emanating from Ginny and Neil when they came to me as clients, that it was difficult to bring their son through to them. Not only were they still deep in grief over losing Ben, but Im sure they were running the blame game over and over in their heads. Ginny was blaming Neil for not hiding the gun in a safe place like she had asked him while at the same time feeling guilty for leaving the boys alone. Neil was blaming Ginny for leaving the boys unattended and feeling guilty for not locking up his gun. They both felt responsible for Bens death and also felt that they had let each other down. They were going through the motion of being alive, but they were both so shut down, they seemed almost as dead as their son. When Ben came through, he had so much love and forgiveness for his parents. He tried to give them their lives back. He pleaded with them to accept his forgiveness and to forgive each other. I remember how ironic it was to hear a child say to his parents: You have your whole lives ahead of you still. Dont keep messing them up. When Neil and Ginny left my home, I knew they were relieved that Ben had come through, but I also knew they were caught up in whose fault it was, that they just could not get over that enormous hurdle. I heard later through mutual friends that they divorced.

It saddened me that the love and forgiveness that Ben had demonstrated from the other side wasnt enough to keep his parents together. Divorce was the last thing Ben would have wanted for Ginny and Neil. Instead of honoring their son by creating something positive out of their tragedy (like working for gun control), they perpetuated their guilt. They missed an opportunity to turn their mistake into a gift to the world by possibly stopping a similar tragedy from befalling another family. In an alternative scenario, Ginny and Neil would have stayed together, lectured to others about handgun safety, had more children, and let their love grow. Imagine how happy Ben would be to know his death was not in vain.

That is why I have written this book. I have learned a lot from the other side about how to live life, and I am continually amazed by what the spirit world has to say. Over the past twenty-five years, I have shared spirit stories through my books and demonstrations, but I am often disappointed that a spirits advice goes unheeded. People are usually amazed when I get evidential details like a name or death scenario correct, but when a spirit offers guidance, its counsel frequently falls on deaf ears.

You see, when people shed their physical bodies at death, their spiritual selves see life from a whole new perspective. Its as if theyve had Lasik surgerythey can finally do without their glasses and can see more clearly. Spirits understand why certain situations had to happen. They are able to recognize the value of others, even their enemies, and what they had to learn from them. They also realize how they could have skipped certain mistakes by not letting their egos get in the way. After crossing into the light, spirits are eager to share their newfound knowledge with the living. I am fortunate enough to be a beneficiary of many spirits wisdom and guidance, and I am happy to share their insights with you.