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Martin Olson - Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual for Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It

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Martin Olson Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual for Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It
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Encyclopaedia of Hell: An Invasion Manual for Demons Concerning the Planet Earth and the Human Race Which Infests It: summary, description and annotation

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A tour de force of darkness, Encyclopaedia of Hell is a manual of Earth written by Lord Satan for his invading hordes of demons, complete with hundreds of unpleasant illustrations, diagrams, and a comprehensive and utterly repulsive dictionary of Earth terms.Since the customs and mores of humanity are alien and inconceivable to demons, Satan wrote this strangely poetic military handbook for the enlightenment and edification of his demon armies. A masterpiece expressing Satans hatred for humanity and himself, the Encyclopaedia includes Techniques of Stalking and Eating Humans, Methods of Canning Human Pus, and Dicing and Slicing Orphaned Children.Why the invasion? During the last century in particular, Hell has become seriously overcrowded. Satan needs more land mass for the damned and to use the human livestock to feed his hungry demon invaders.Since this book is the 666th commemorative edition, this Encyclopaedia contains special commemorative material.Martin Olsons savage wit provides the firepower for a preposterous literary feat unaccomplished since Mark Twain passedchanneling the real voice of Satan. Over the past fifteen years, Olson has written and produced nine comedy specials, inflicted on the populace via CBS, HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, and A&E.

Martin Olson: author's other books


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Table of Contents To Andrew Lazar Annette Van Duren Robert Sheckley - photo 1
Table of Contents To Andrew Lazar Annette Van Duren Robert Sheckley - photo 2
Table of Contents

To Andrew Lazar Annette Van Duren Robert Sheckley Brother Theodore Gottlieb - photo 3
To:
Andrew Lazar
Annette Van Duren
Robert Sheckley
Brother Theodore Gottlieb
Editorial Consultant Brian Lubocki Book Design Sean Tejaratchi - photo 4
Editorial Consultant:
Brian Lubocki
Book Design Sean Tejaratchi Wheel of Kadab Illustration Joseph Alaskey - photo 5
Book Design:
Sean Tejaratchi
Wheel of Kadab Illustration Joseph Alaskey Additional Illustration Kaz - photo 6
Wheel of Kadab Illustration:
Joseph Alaskey
Additional Illustration Kaz Celeste Moreno Howard Gindoff and Duncan Long - photo 7
Additional Illustration:
Kaz
Celeste Moreno
Howard Gindoff and Duncan Long
Steganography Web Design Oleg Rezabeksteganartcom brettaronowitzcom - photo 8
Steganography & Web Design:
Oleg Rezabek/steganart.com
brettaronowitz.com marenmiller.com
Daemonic Subversion Support Amit Itelman Adam Parfrey Ken Kaufman Howard - photo 9
Daemonic Subversion Support:
Amit Itelman Adam Parfrey
Ken Kaufman Howard Klausner
John Schneider Lars Ulrich Kirk Hammett
Robert Gaylor Tom Frykman
Barry Crimmins Ken Daly Dana Gibson
Howard, Michael & Chris Meehan
Adam Franklin Keith Knee
Mary Jo Pritchard Thomas Olson
Kay, Casey & Olivia Olson
WARNING TO THE READER The following manuscript is alleged to be a pirated - photo 10
WARNING TO THE READER The following manuscript is alleged to be a pirated - photo 11
WARNING TO THE READER
The following manuscript is alleged to be a pirated edition of the original - photo 12
The following manuscript is alleged to be a pirated edition
of the original housed in a secret vault in Rome beneath
the Vatican Basilica di Santa Croce of Gerusalemme.

The pages were delivered to us by courier in a manner
which made knowledge of its origin impossible.
The following cover letter claims to have been written by
a disgruntled former agent of a covert organization.

Encyclopdia of Hell is a facsimile of the original book
with its imperfections intact. Note that some pages
show signs of wear due to the age of the manuscript
or manner of reproduction. However, we present this
unique volume exactly as it was delivered to us,
without further commentary.

The Publishers
FROM THE DESK OF
NATHAN STILE S
S.S.A. Field Agent (Ret.)
MAGGOTS DIE IN SUNLIGHT MOTTO ABOVE THE ENTRANCE OF THE SPIRITUAL SECURITY - photo 13
MAGGOTS DIE IN SUNLIGHT.
MOTTO ABOVE THE ENTRANCE OF THE SPIRITUAL SECURITY AGENCY

To Whom It May Concern:

MY NAME IS NATHAN STILES. For ten years, I worked as an agent for the Spiritual Security Agency. The S.S.A. is a covert military force composed of monks, ministers, nuns and priests from all world religions. Mankind is unaware that a secret war has been going on between Earth and Hell. For centuries, our agents have been trained in prayer, fasting and heavy artillery in order to stop demons from taking over Earth.
Critical to the success of our mission is the existence of the book you now hold in your hands. I was fired when my superiors ordered me to keep this book a secret and I refused.
They are idiots.
This book was written by and for demons, instructing them on how to destroy mankind. I believe this book must be distributed to the public as quickly as possible before the demon invasion begins.
Here are the facts:
Hell is a real place, located in another dimension, or frequency, of matter. Demons are real entities, created and genetically engineered by the supernatural entity known as Satan.
Over the past century in particular, Hell has become overcrowded with human souls. For this reason, Satan drew up a detailed plan to gain more territory by invading Earth and annexing it to Hell.
The book you now hold in your hands is a copy of an encyclopedic invasion manual of Earth written by Satan in English, the preferred language of Hell. As far as I know, only one copy presently exists on Earth. I seized it from the demon spy Zyk of Asimoth soon after he infiltrated Earth to scout landing sites for the invasion. S.S.A. officials confiscated the manuscript from me by force and locked it in a vault beneath the Vatican.
When I demanded that they release the manual to the world, my superiors refused, saying the document was classified. When I threatened to go public with what I knew, I was fired and told that if I spoke about the existence of the book, I would be discredited and eliminated.
Because the fate of the world is at stake, I had no choice but to defy their orders. I broke into the vault and stole the manual which you now hold in your hands.
I did what I had to do.
Now that you have the information you need, the fate of Mankind is in your hands.
HOW TO READ THIS BOOK
Just as demonic thought is strange to us, so is our world incomprehensible to demons. To insure an understanding of mankind, Satan compiled this overview of human existence from the satanic point of view.
Demons are fundamentally different from human beings, having no physical or emotional heart and knowing nothing of love or of the concepts of Good or God. To help bridge the gap of understanding, I include here an overview of the contents and structure of the invasion manual:
Each section of the book opens with a memo by the demon Zyk of Asimoth, the infiltrator who edited Satans Encyclopaedia , and is also, weirdly, Poet Laureate of Hell. Zyks memos tell the story of how he researched the Manual by time-traveling through Earths past. The memos describe the demons weird love affair with a human nun, his missions involving Hitler, Jesus, John F. Kennedy, so-called extraterrestrial aliens and so-called UFOs.
Many threads in this satanic embroidery are woven throughout the section entitled Book Two: Manual of Earth Terms . To fully experience the bizarre world of demons and to understand the reasons for the invasion, track the links at the end of various Earth Terms which connect to related terms in the book. For example, the letter A links to terms which explain Mankinds origin (genetically engineered by a demon criminal), Satans taboos regarding time-travel to Earth, and the diametrically opposed views of Heaven and Hell concerning the Past and the Future.
Tracking other links, footnotes and memos will reveal many other hidden facts, including a demon conspiracy to assassinate Satan, Satans decision to kill his creator after being exposed to the human concepts of love and infinity , and Gods peculiar plan for creating the universe. The book also abounds with secret writing using acrostics, wheel and acroamatic ciphers, cryptograms, palindromes and elaborate hidden messages combining various obscure codes and ciphers. For example, the curious reader can decode certain cryptic passages by utilizing an online substitution cipher generator.
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