Sherry Suib Cohen - Looking for the Other Side

ALSO BY THE AUTHOR

Secrets of a Very Good Marriage: Lessons from the Sea

Tender Power

The Magic of Touch

WITH TERI SEIDMAN

Decorating Rich

Decorating for Comfort

WITH LEE DUCAT

Diabetes

WITH CRISTINA FERRARE

Cristina Ferrares Style

Text copyright 1997 by Sherry Suib Cohen

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by Clarkson Potter/Publishers, 201 East 50th Street, New York, New York 10022. Member of the Crown Publishing Group.

Random House, Inc. New York, Toronto, London, Sydney, Auckland

http://www.randomhouse.com/

Clarkson N. Potter, Potter, and colophon are trademarks of Clarkson N. Potter, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cohen, Sherry Suib.
Looking for the other side/
Sherry Suib Cohen.
p. cm.
1. Parapsychology. 2. Occultism. 3. Cohen, Sherry Suib.
I. Title.
BF1031.C587 1996
133dc20 96-29191

eISBN: 978-0-307-81595-8

v3.1

For blue-eyed Julia Iren.
I wish her many worlds and
an open mind.

NONE OF IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUTNew Woman magazine. This book was born in its pages. The magazine strives always to stretch the imagination of its readers, and it does as much for its writers. Senior editor Stephanie von Hirschberg, executive editor Susan Kane, and editor in chief Betsy Carter have reconstituted my thinking and sent me on extraordinary journeys: I cannot thank them enough, these terrific women, these funny, wise friends. My deep gratitude also to Jeannette Benny, director of New Womans editorial services, who was the gatekeeper for the myriad letters from readers when my article Looking for Mom first appeared. Im immensely privileged to be part of New Woman, I cant wait to see what they next come up with for me, and I hope they never throw me out.

My brilliant editor, Carol Southern, a true believer in this book, really knows whats out there and has taught me: shes a visionary mentor with impeccable judgment.

Thanks, of course, to my powerhouse agent, Connie Clausen, who has given me the career of my dreams, who asks more of me than I ever imagined I owned, and worse, who makes me deliver! Shes my life friend. And to Lisa Kaiser and Stedman Mays at the Clausen agency, whose inspiration and terrific tips were wonderful.

Thanks also to Eliza Scott at Clarkson Potter, who has held my hand through two books now: she has a warm, empowering grasp. My gratitude as well for their generous suggestions to John Harber, David Margulies, Maggie Blackman, Gloria DiGennaro, Angelika Weller, Susan Freeman, Joanna McMann, David Cahn, Ellen Stoianoff, Nancy Clark, Nancymarie Jones, Lois Cogen, and Barbara Appel; to Jan Goodwin, at whose home I first started opening my mind; to Larry Ashmead, who kept me laughing and reading throughout the long, testy opening of that mind; to the 92 Street Y Aisle, which daily lends its naked support, especially Eleanor Donnenfeld, Carol Tannenhauser, Susan Scopetta, Susan Schermer, Betsy Jablow, Jill Newhouse, Lisa Hsia, and Marcy Miller; and to the GroupMarjorie Austrian, Sybil Evans, Teri Seidman, who are my childhood roots and my grown-up oaks.

As always, my grateful love to my children, Susan Gross and Adam Cohen, Jennifer and Steven Goldsteinand to Becky, Josh, and Julia: their collected beauty is dazzling.

Surely the memory of my darling, intricate, vivid mother, Jane, will always inspire me. And to David, my dadand to Audrey Plummer: I love you.

To Larry Cohen: No man like this one ever lived.

Penetrating so many secrets,
we cease to believe in the
unknowable.
But there it sits,
nevertheless, calmly licking
its chops.

H. L. MENCKEN

IT IS A TRIBUTE TO THE EMERGING MATURITY of our civilization that our world is coming to grips with the reality of spirit as a real force. This mysterious force, curving back within itself, expresses itself as form and phenomenon. Sherry Suib Cohens book gives you a glimpse of a world that lies beyond the illusion of appearance. This deeper reality exists beyond our senses and connects us with patterns of intelligence that permeate the whole cosmos. I congratulate Sherry Suib Cohen for being a pioneer/explorer of this world, which science is only just beginning to glimpse.

When Cohen, as a skeptical journalist, decided to allow herself to be open to energies outside her long-held beliefs, she began a journey that would bring her a panoply of lyrical, comic, insightful, and inspirational experiences. As she got beyond the limitations of her own ego judgments about what should happenshe found a world of what is.

Intellectually, Cohen held to the belief that she was, first and foremost, a physical being. Exploring the world of spirit she gradually began to see that first and foremost, she was a subtle being who could create new selves and rediscover past selves on countless levels, seen and unseen. She found that reaching into unseen worlds doesnt make one feel foolish, after all: instead, it allows one to marshall all the intelligence of the universe, compressing billions of years of knowledge into every second of present life. It allows one to connect in layers and through layers to a universal experience. Trusting in the universe enabled Sherry to become a body in a soul rather than a soul in a body.

Looking for the Other Side jogs the reader into refining awareness and going, with the author, beyond the five senses into unimaginable realms. As Sherry Suib Cohen learned not to scoff at other possibilities and other energies, she came to throw off fear and realize the pure spirit within. No journey could be more wondrous.

D EEPAK C HOPRA , M.D.

IF YOURE GOING TO READ THIS BOOK , I want to tell you a little about me.

Im a journalist. Im a skeptic. I challenge everything. I look up things in the library, a lot. I need proof, proof, proof. Although in the scary moments I find myself praying to God (hey, you never know), I am constitutionally doubtful about Him or even Her, astrology, psychics, channeling, reincarnation, and tarot. I dont even want to hear about past-life regression. At least, it was that way.

Two years ago my mother died. Im an only child, and we had a powerful relationship, loving but complicated. She was wise, lioness-protective, killingly critical. The death of a parent threatens our own lives. It proves were mortal, that our days are limited, that life is temporal, not eternal. Life is a disappearing act, and my mother disappeared on me.

I couldnt believe she was really gone. We had a lot of unfinished business between us, and was it possible I was never again going to grit my teeth and hear her tell me, Wear your pearls?