Elisa Frank - The Borderline Diaries: For Kimberley

Title Page

THE BORDERLINE DIARIES

Elisa Frank

for Kimberley

Publisher Information

Published by Local Legend

www.local-legend.co.uk

Digital edition converted and distributed in 2015 by

Andrews UK Limited

www.andrewsuk.com

2015 Elisa Frank

All rights reserved

No parts of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without the prior permission of the publisher.

A record of this publication is available from the British Library.

Cover design by Titanium Design Ltd

www.titaniumdesign.co.uk

Cover image by the author

About the Author

As a troubled teenager, Elisa Frank was groomed in her home town of Wakefield, Yorkshire, by an apparently charming asylum-seeker, Ahmad Otak, from Afghanistan. But his behaviour became more and more extreme and controlling until at last, in 2012, Elisa gathered the courage to flee to her sisters home. Otak followed and, making a pretence of sorrow, was allowed inside.

He then violently murdered Kim Frank, who was seventeen, with a knife while forcing a restrained Elisa to watch. When the girls friend Samantha Sykes arrived, she suffered the same fate. Otak abducted Elisa and fled by car to Dover in an attempt to leave the country, but was arrested there.

Otak is serving a life sentence in prison. But Elisa is also suffering her own life sentence, utterly devastated by these events and the abject grief of losing her sister, with whom she had been very close. She spent several months in a psychiatric hospital, with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a Borderline Personality Disorder. Hence the title of this book.

In this book, Elisa does not dwell on the tragedy save to tell us what happened before her eyes and show us how it affected her mind. Then, with great courage, she describes how she began to heal. Her observation of both others behaviour around her and of her own inner states is at times breathtaking, and always humbling.

We should all learn much from this perceptive, talented and brave young woman. Elisa still lives in Wakefield and is determined to honour her sisters and friends memories by succeeding as a writer.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to Kimberley Louise Frank, my darling sister. Me and you, twins for life, remember! You may not be breathing the same way as I am, but our bond breaks through the veil of death. I hope you are proud of me and Im sorry that I never used to tell you that I love you, and I always will.

I also dedicate my writing to Samantha Sykes, a much-loved friend who will be in many peoples hearts forever. I wish that, in time, all of those heavily affected by grief, anger and loss will find some way to heal the pain and find peace through the spirits of the two girls, Kim and Sammy, who live on in spirit and in memory.

Acknowledgements

Firstly, it is important to thank Kim for keeping my spirit alive throughout my writing and spurring me on to share this with the world. And I would like to thank all my family for being there for me during these years. Mum and Faye, you are the best and I love you. I give many thanks to my father for always believing in me, for keeping me inspired and smiling during the long hours when I thought I could not make it; here is our future, Dad, writing as we always said we would. Thanks to David Stephens for helping me in every way he can; he is a star.

Thank you to my friends who have been neglected during this period of creating my story: Natalie Catchpole, Dean Hancock, my online friends and Kims friends and the many others Ive met on the way. Thank you to all those with whom I spent time in Fieldhead Hospital; those small things you all did and said brightened my world and made a real difference. And thanks to my fictional character Mel, too; we have ticked off the first thing on the bucket list.

A big thank-you too to my Connexions worker, Keiley Habron, for your advice through thick and thin and for giving me hope of a future for myself when there seemed to be none. You are a wise owl and I often think of what you might say in the hours when I need advice.

Finally, of course, I thank my publisher Nigel Peace for his help in putting this book together and giving me a chance to share my work with all of you.

Prologue

The Dolls

She was still and doll-like... a porcelain doll... her ragdoll sister stared down at her as if in an out-of-body experience... I was the ragdoll, Elisa. But please call me Lacey as this is my alter ego. I had only just turned into a real and tangible being after leaving an evil man whod dressed me only in black and blue. Hed seen me as a ragdoll.

The porcelain one was Kim and she wasnt always a doll. In fact she never was until her insides gave in, until she endured this deadly attack, several blows with a nine-inch knife to her torso, the final one to her jugular. That rendered her into a transition, the one where the spirit leaves the vessel and changes itself into something else, something beautiful, something doll-like. But this transition was not beautiful. It was tragic in every sense, it was painful and horrific and done to her in the name of love by a narcissistic brute with no heart who wanted to keep me prisoner. He saw my sister as an obstacle.

I had never wanted this man but hed sucked me in with fineries and delicacies, sweet like mango, which he used to force-feed me with, feigning admiration. Id been in a bad way, a depressive state with nowhere to live at the time when I made the decision to accept his hand. My world was empty until, gradually and perilously, I gave myself up to his ownership. Before I knew it I was bound and chained to the house of horrors where we lived together.

Then Id escaped, as frightened as one could ever be, and I was in a frozen state that day, the day that was the end of everything. He came around and tricked his way into our candy house, Kims flat, where we two sisters sat sipping tea, eating Rich Tea biscuits and planning future double dates. When the bell sounded we let him in thinking that he was coming to bring my kitten. Although I loved my kitten a lot, Id left him behind in the house of horrors when I fled. Since then Id been scared that the kitten would have the fate Otak had often joked about, which was to crucify him.

He entered, with a deadly intent that neither of us picked up on, and simply asked for a drink of water. I gave him one and he handed Kim a cigarette, making jokes which she seemed to find amusing. But I didnt want even to see this man who had violated me endlessly in the year I had spent as his secluded prisoner. I told him to leave and said Id talk to him later, which was a lie. And that was that. We led him to the doorway.

But we didnt quite make it...

I felt my sister shove into me, turned around and saw the kitchen knife, shiny, deadly. Then everything was just a flash of images... blood splattered on pastel walls, my sister shrieked Elisa! I was on the floor and Otak had his grip around my upper arm as I tried to reach for the door, trying so hard, not for my own life but for my sister, whose screams were of pure horror. Unless youve witnessed great violence, you are blessed never to have heard such screams, high-pitched and piercing, screeching out in pain and blood-curdling.

Somehow we ended up in the living room... how? The front door was near the bedroom, closer than close and yet I failed for the handle, I really failed, I failed in every sense that one could. I could see all around the living room setting and I looked at myself, knowing that I had not been injured physically. But then I looked around at my sister who was wrenching over as Otak like an animal made arm thrusts with the knife, with great force. I tried to calm my nerves, telling myself that I was going to be next. When youre presented with a situation like this, survival is all you think of... if you think of anything at all.