White - The unobstructed universe

One Thursday evening Joan returned from a trip to the cityvery much vexed with herself. I was visiting Darby and her over a long weekend,and so was present to hear her plaint.

"I hate to be a fool," was its gist, "and Ihate doing silly things; and I like to plan things out and then do them; and Iam a careful shopper, and I hate to buy things I don't want"

"Tell us about it," Darby and I urged.

"Listen," said she. "I went to town thismorning with a careful list of errands to do. The first one was at a shop overon Fifth Avenue; and to get there you take an Avenue bus from the Hudson Tube,near the Penn Stationright to the door."

"Well?" said we.

"I found myself on a CROSS-TOWN BUS," wailed Joandisgustedly. "I always take the Avenue busNEVER the cross-town. Yet thereI was! And they don't even leave the station from the same place. And thatisn't the whole of it!"

"Go, ahead," we encouraged.

"I went to the end of the cross-town lineI thought Imight as wellprepared to walk the five blocks to my shop. At the end of theline there's a big department storeI almost NEVER shop there. I hadn't beenthere for years. But I thought I'd walk through it to the Avenue instead ofgoing around by the side street. I'd hardly got inside when I caught sight of ared box being trundled off on a floor truck along with a load of other stuff.No reason why I should be interested in red boxes, but I just HAD to chaseafter that one. And was I disappointed when the truck got away from me down anelevator! I even hunted up a floorman and shot a volley of questions at him. Hetold me the box must have been one of the Chinese chests they had been having aspecial sale on; and he directed me to what they had left. They were good-sizedcamphorwood chests, covered with pigskin and painted with various designs andcolors. I went and bought one," said Joan bitterly.

"Weren't they attractive?" I asked, puzzled by thebitterness.

"They were most attractive," she admitted."But I have camphorwood chests. And"her voice rose inemphasis"in all this house there's not a place where I could put anothercamphorwood chestor any other piece of furniture for that matterwithouteverybody's falling over it every time he went from here to there. I have aboutas much use for a camphorwood chest as Tabs has for two tails! " Tabsbeing the family cat.

Darby and I shouted.

"That isn't the worst," said Joan.

We became quiet, in expectation.

"You see," said Joan, who was now beginning toenjoy her own narration, "none of the chests was red. The one I bought wasyellow. And that red colorthe color of the first one I saw, on thetrucksomehow I couldn't get that particular shade of red out of my mind. No,said the salesman, the merchandise on the truck was all sold goods. No, therewere no more red ones. You'd think that would have satisfied me, wouldn't you?Not at all. I insisted they must have a reserve; I insisted on seeing thedepartment manager; and finally I elicited that there WAS a reserve, but Icouldn't see it. Just the same, I kept at them, and I DID see itthey must havethought me crazy! And there was a red one. And I bought that! I bought two ofthe dratted things! Now I ask you! And tomorrow they'll be out here in Orange Center cluttering up everything! Well, they'll go back bright and early Mondaymorning, I can tell you that I can't IMAGINE what got into me!"

Neither could wenot until the third evening. Nor willyounot until the third chapter.