Noel Botham - Did Romans Really Wash Themselves In Wee? And Other Freaky, Funny and Horrible History Facts
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- Book:Did Romans Really Wash Themselves In Wee? And Other Freaky, Funny and Horrible History Facts
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Did Romans Really Wash Themselves In Wee? And Other Freaky, Funny and Horrible History Facts: summary, description and annotation
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DID YOU KNOW THAT. . .The ROMANS carried on EATING until THEY WERE SICK, or that the SMELLY VIKINGS had NO TOILETS on their SHIPS?
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW . . .Which ROMAN EMPEROR loved his HORSE so much he made him CONSUL?
AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS . . .By telling them about INCAN EXECUTIONS, CHEESY FOOD FIGHTS and WARRIOR BATS!
Bursting with brilliant hand-drawn illustrations this book is packed with the wackiest, wittiest, filthiest, foulest, oldest, wisest and best facts about history!
Forget boring old school history textbooks! For all the coolest history facts theyd never tell you in class, look no further than Did Romans Really Wash Themselves in Wee?
Noel Botham, author of the hugely popular and successful Useless Information series, really makes history come alive for children in this hilarious offering.
Noel Botham: author's other books
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Humans think they know a lot about history. Im sure in your classes at school you have learned all about the ancient Romans and how they tried to take over the world, or about how the Egyptians built the pyramids, or about the First and Second World Wars and important things like that.
But what you forget is how young you all are modern humans have only been around for a puny 200,000 years, and have been the dominant species on Earth for much less than that. Us dinosaurs on the other hand were around 230 million years ago. And we were dominant for 135 million years. To put into perspective how new humans really are, if you imagine the Earth as being one year old then Homo Sapiens (thats you) have only been around for about 7.5 minutes, and the pyramids were built only 7 seconds ago.
I know humans though. Ive lived with them my whole life, and I know you wont be interested in the really massive events that I could tell you about, like the First Tyrannosaurus Wars or the Great Plague of 10,587,649, because they dont involve you. Instead, you want to know about the exploding King of England, grisly human sacrifices, and the real Count Dracula, right? Well I can tell you that, and a lot of other pretty cool stuff you probably wont hear in class. So read on
Dr Dino
Cavemen lived during the Stone Age (so-called because tools were made out of stone), which was between 3.4 million and 5,000 years ago. Even though we think of them as humans, most werent Homo Sapiens. There were many other species, like the Neanderthals, which were all very similar to each other.
There are more people living in caves now than there have been at any other time in the Earths history.
The average age a caveman lived to was only 16 years old. So, more of a caveboy really!
Language was still developing throughout the caveman period and a result of this is our yawn. Its believed that yawning was used to show all the members of your caveman group that you were tired and it was time for bed. This is why it is still contagious today when caveman yawned, all the others would follow suit.
Cavemen wouldnt have just one cave. They were nomads, which meant that they would travel around and find new caves to live in quite often, for example if the weather became too cold, or if they ran out of easy access to food or water.
The oldest human fossils are 400,000 years old and were found in a cave in Northern Spain called The Pit of Bones.
It can be very frustrating for dinosaur doctors like me when movies like The Flintstones or Ice Age show dinosaurs living alongside humans. THIS NEVER HAPPENED! The only dinosaur that ever lived with humans is me, and Im a pretty special case.
Cavemen often painted the caves that they lived in and, incredibly, some of these paintings still survive today. One of the most famous of these is the Lascaux cave in France, which has nearly 2,000 images. Most paintings are of animals, and quite a few people think they were just cavemen showing off and making a record of what they had hunted, much like people might take a picture now.
Its easy to think of the Aztecs as pretty ancient, but in fact they only arrived in modern-day Mexico in the 1300s. Before that the Mayans had been in charge for a long time
The Mayans famously created a calendar system that predicted that the world would end on 21 December 2012. For some reason, even though the Mayans were long gone by this time, some people still believed them and end-of-the-world parties happened all around the globe on that date. One person who probably wasnt celebrating was Dutchman Pieter van der Meer who had an ark installed in his back garden in readiness. Still, at least hes got a nice big boat to play in now!
They werent the cheeriest lot, the Mayans. They built huge pyramids dedicated to their gods, which was nice. But they used the pyramids for human sacrifice, which wasnt Often, the priests in charge would cut the heart right out of the victim while he was still alive!
Being a Mayan kid wasnt too fun either. If the adults thought your head was too broad they would put two planks of wood on either side to push on your head and make it narrower.
For some reason in the 900s the Mayans all fled the cities and left them abandoned. Many explanations have been given for this, ranging from a peasant revolt (probably against all the priests cutting out their hearts!), overpopulation leading to famine, a huge earthquake or a devastating plague. The truth is, much like the dinosaur extinction, nobody really knows. (Except me, of course. I could tell you all about what happened to the dinosaurs, but nobody ever asks me.)
Apparently modern humans arent the only ones who think egg-heads are clever. Archaeologists were puzzled when they found funny-shaped skulls that looked exactly like eggs but they figured out that the Mayan leaders wore headgear to reshape their skulls to make them real egg-heads!
The Aztecs learned quite a lot from the Mayans not least the old trick of human sacrifice. And they were pretty bloody good at it too. Its believed that they sacrificed an average of 50,000 people a year, and in one massive party to celebrate opening the temple in their capital of Tenochtitlan they killed 20,000 people in honour of the sun god.
The Aztecs never actually called themselves the Aztecs. Western historians came up with that description they called themselves the Mexica.
Even worse than human sacrifice, the Aztecs were very cruel to their kids. They introducedCompulsory Schooling! If you were low-born you had to learn to be a warrior if you were a boy and how to be a housewife if you were a girl. The worst off were the nobles who had to learn maths, art, history and politics.
When two Aztecs got married, they would tie the man and womans clothing together. This is believed to be the origin of the phrase tying the knot.
Mexican food, like fajitas and quesadillas, can be delicious, but you might have wanted to give some Aztec foods a miss They would eat everything from monkeys and dogs to toads and frogs. And they were even known to make cake from pond scum!
Hernan Cortes and his Spanish army are often given the credit for conquering the Aztecs in 1519 by military brilliance. (That, plus the fact that they had guns while the Aztecs only had spears!) However, the real killer was something the Spaniards brought with them smallpox. The disease tore through the Aztec population, which hadnt ever been exposed to it before, and allowed Cortes and his men to take over.
It wasnt too long ago that people thought the world was flat. (Or even weirder: that it rested on the back of a giant turtle!) But despite this, some brave (or very stupid) men set off to travel the high seas to see if they would fall off the edge. Here are the top 10 greatest explorers of all time:
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