Stefan Petrucha - Dead Mann Walking

THE END OF THE TUNNEL

Do you really think we might die there?

Well, you might. Me? Been there. Done that.

Of course. Personal question, but . . . whats it like to be dead?

I gave him a look, right in his baby blue contacts. Im starting to understand why you dont have any friends.

I dont usually talk like that to a client, but I already had two envelopes full of his cash, and I wasnt very happy about being out here at night.

I dont mean now, Mann. I meant before . . . when you were dead.

Oh, then. There was a bright, warm golden light at the end of a long tunnel and all my deceased loved ones were on the other side, beckoning me forward to everlasting joy.

Really?

No.

Copyright Stefan Petrucha, 2011

All rights reserved

For Sarah,

because she liked this

even though shes not particularly into zombies

Back to back,

Belly to belly,

Well, I dont give a damn

Cause Im stone dead already.

Zombie Jamboree

by Conrad Eugene Mauge Jr., 1953

1

Sixteen pieces.

Thats how many chunks the newslady said Colin Wilson was cut into. He was scattered across the desert like bits of burger wrapping and leftover fries. The cops found all the bits. Except the head. Thats unusual, seeing as how the police dont tend to get involved with Wilsons type, no matter how many pieces theyre in.

Of course, the news didnt play it like a murder. To the livebloods, its more about litter. Lousy so-and-sos always leaving their body parts around, making the living waste their time picking up after them. The candy-blond anchor shrugged. Mustve been an accident. Wilsons type are always getting into accidents. Cut to deodorant commercial. At times like this, you want to smell nice.

Accident, my ass. One or two pieces, maybe, and they would have found the head. Seeing as how theres no middle ground between accident and design, that meant something weirder: He was cut up on purpose. Thats a lot of work. First, you have to get Colin Wilson into a position where he cant disagree, and then you have to do all that cutting. Human bone, too. Probably needed special tools. Its sure as hell not the kind of thing you do on a whim, or even out of anger. The reasons would have to run dark and deep.

And then there was the head.

I tried not to think about it, to focus on something else, but I didnt have a lot going on. I stared at my desktop, the stains looking like a faded Jackson Pollock. I tried to make animal shapes out of the Goodwill shirts piled on the floor, or see a tree in the cracks on the door.

By the time the news came back on, a late-afternoon light, the dying kind, had intruded from the broken window, making the TV hard to see. It didnt help. I couldnt get Colin Wilsons head out of mine; images of it were crawling around my brain like freshly hatched baby spiders. I didnt know Wilson from a punched hole in the wall, but I kept seeing his severed head in some coyotes mouth, an eye socket pinched between two strong canines, its saliva slapping the skull. Colins good eye opens and he realizes where he is.

Cut to deodorant commercial.

It didnt make sense. What would a coyote do with a head? Not much meat on that bone. What bugged me made less sense: What if Colin Wilsons brain really was still thinking? What if it knew what happened, understood that it was a lot shorter and less mobile than it used to be?

Weirder things are true. The official line is that decapitation ends it, but they dont know shit. Calling my memory bad is a compliment, but I do remember the strangest shit, like how I read somewhere that back when they used the guillotine, a French scientist asked a condemned murderer to blink twenty times after his execution, if he could. He did. When the scientist called his name, the head opened its eyes and looked at him. True story, true as anything.

And thats the living. Wilson wasnt of that persuasion. His functions wouldnt necessarily ever stop. So maybe hes still out there.

These days there are so many things worse than death that its not even high on the list. Thousands of years we look for eternal life and what do we get? Fucking zombies. First I ever saw was in Romeros Night of the Living Dead. Scared the crap out of me. These days all I have to do is look in a mirror. Yeah, Im one of those, too. Me, Colin Wilson, a hundred thousand or so others. Livebloods call us chakza mangled version of charqui, or, en ingls, jerkydried meat. If were still oozing, which is pretty rare, they call us gleets or juicers. Then there are danglers, but Ill leave that definition to the imagination.

Its not like the movies. We dont eat human flesh unless we go feral, and then its more like well eat anything. We are tough to destroy, which is why I was so obsessed about that head. Cut off an arm or a leg, shoot us in the chestwell keep coming.

Then theres burning. Now, theres another great thoughtwatching your flesh curl until the heat takes your eyes away. Brr. But that begs the question, Who bothered giving Colin Wilson such special treatment? If they wanted to make sure he was gone, why not just incinerate him?

With all the love we get, why bring us back? Mostly because some idiots figured out how. Mammalian life is based on cellular metabolism, right? Ten years ago, the boffins at ChemBets research labs came up with an electrostatic something-or-other that keeps cellular metabolism charged permanently. They call it a radical invigoration procedure, RIP for short. Ha, ha, ha. RIP a corpse, and hallelujah, the dead have risen!

The rich and famous were falling over their adopted third-world kids in the rush to bring back their loved ones. The feds gave ChemBet some huge tax breaks so the industry could grow and make the process cheaper. Everyone wanted in. Only, once the thrill died, livebloods started noticing how parts of Mom would rot off if she wasnt kept squeaky clean, or how, if you didnt talk to Uncle Stu often enough, hed get all morose, go feral, and plant his dentures into the dog or a neighbors kid. People not only wanted their money back, they wanted the process reversed.

That, ChemBet didnt know how to do. Neither did the government. They say decapitation is surefire, D-cap, but, like I said, Im not so sure. It sounds too much like something a PR flak cut and pasted from a movie script.

Point being, people stopped ripping for love, but they couldnt just D-cap Grandma, not unless she went feral first. Those early revivals account for about half the chak population. The rest are another story.

Me, I was still obsessing about Wilsons head when I finally got my distraction. Misty, my assistant, walked in wearing a tight blue number with fishnet stockings. Shes a liveblood. Nowadays you can see it by the flush to her face. When we met six months back she was a crack addict, picking through garbage to survive and turning tricks when things got really bad. So bad she tried working my neck of the woods, the Bones.

She was such a little, half-starved thing, I felt bad for her, which is saying something. Usually chakz dont feel much, even physical sensations. Oh, sometimes a sock in the jaw still feels like a sock in the jaw, or a nightmare can rock your world, but everything tends to be at arms distance. Maybe it was her hazel puppy-dog eyes or the cracked teeth, but feeling for her gave me something to pay attention to. I also figured there were places a liveblood could get to that a dead guy couldnt, so after I got some food in her, we made a deal: Shed try to keep clean; Id try to keep from going feral.