Tobe Terrell [Tobe Terrell] - The Gamecaller

The Gamecaller

Tobe Terrell

Old Rag Publishing

404 SE 2nd Street

Gainesville FL 32601

The Gamecaller. Copyright 2009 by Tobe Terrell.

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews.

ISBN: 978-0-9796271-8-7

Acknowledgments

I am fortunate to have had help from five different editors to the book. In chronological order: Ian Schleifer, Bob Meyer, Diane Childs, Stuart Silverstone, and Ryan Duval. Each deserves special thanks for their many suggestions that went beyond editing of the copy. Stuart, a noted graphics designer also designed the cover.

There are many others who deserve my thanks. I have changed the names of some of the persons who appear in the book, some at their request; some at my own choice. I am indebted to a few of them for their advice and comments; you know who you are.

Some of the events described in the book occurred more than thirty years ago. Memories fade and recollections sometimes are distorted in the direction of the rememberer. To persons who recall or interpret the events differently than I do, I acknowledge the imperfection of my own memory. The narrative in the book is the best of my recollection; none of the events are fictionalized.

What we value and what we fear are within our self.

Lao Tzu

To continue the gift economy experiment, in 2005 Tobe Terrell started The Gainesville Zen Center, where hospitality is offered to world travelers. The book that you are reading, another example of the gift economy, was originally given to a guest at the Zen Hostel. Please, after writing your name in the front, pass this book on to someone who might enjoy it.

If you liked The Gamecaller, you are invited to make a donation to The Zen Center, where the money will be used to produce another copy of the book.

Gainesville Zen Center

404 SE 2nd Street

Gainesville, FL 32601

www.zenhostel.com

(352) 336-3613

This digital copy (epub, mobi and PDF) created and distributed by Joseph Matheny ( http://josephmatheny.net ) with the permission of Tobe Terrell.

THE GAMECALLER

Table of Contents

PROLOGUE

Entering Barbaras front closet, I hear Petties voice from above: Yall are too old for me. Every one of you thinks like an old man. Didnt yall ever hear that a little child shall lead them, or ye must become as a little child? You were perfect when you got here, but you were taken advantage of by your parents, your teachers and your government. You all know a lot, but most of it is not so.

Inside the closet, I step lightly onto the ladder and climb slowly upward into the attic where several people are seated on the floor in a semi-circle around M.D. Pettie. He is reclining, with several pillows propped behind his head. I have to crawl to get into the attic which is only eight feet wide and five feet high. Two people move slightly to make room for me, as Pettie continues.

To get some real knowledge youve got to get back to what you were when you came bouncing out of the womb. Thats what getting in touch with your true nature is. How are you going to do it? Barbara, you tell em. Go ahead, tell everybody how theyre going to do it.

Barbara begins, Well, sir, I guess you...

Pettie cuts her off. Nah, you dont know. You were just about to say something foolish, but Ill cut you off, so you dont embarrass yourself. I might tell you what you could do to become as a little child, but Im not sure I should do it. I could tell you to go out and take a course. There are dozens of them out there. You just pay your money and somebody will be glad to tell you what to do to get back to your own true nature. In fact, they get their own self-esteem from telling you. Thats what its really all about. These courses, theyre for the benefit of the teachers more than the students. Jan, how much of your fathers money did you pay to Oscar Ichazo for his Arica wisdom package? No, dont tell me. It might make me cry.

I could send you out there to get some instant enlightenment from Werner Erhart at the EST seminars, but then he would be richer and we would be poorer and you would only think you had learned something. Thats whats happening. Making people think theyre thinking. If they were really thinking, they would know they dont need to pay for some wisdom course. Theyre just putting old wine in new bottles, so they can charge you for it. They should be ashamed of themselves for charging for the truth. So Im not going to send yall out to take the EST course or some other instant-enlightenment seminar. Im considering whether I should call for a new game, but I dont know whether you all are ready for it and whether you really want to hear it.

We have heard this kind of mock ridicule often before. Its the truth, but served with a sweetened spoon.

Please, sir, tell us what it is, several people say.

Well, if yall say pretty please, I might tell you, he says.

Then eight full-grown adults all begin talking at once, saying some version of Oh, pretty please, sir, tell us, pretty please.

OK, Im calling a game for each one of you to go on a trip. Pick whatever place you want. Stay gone for at least a month. Get out of D.C. Pick some spot where you are on your own. On day one, imagine you are one year old, on day two, two years old and so forth until you get up to the age you are now. At the end of the time, have a celebration and come on back. And make some money while youre gone. Bring back the surplus. Put some pressure on yourselves. Its tough being a little kid in a world thats designed for big people. Just walk around and think like a little person. Get rid of those notions you got from believing other people and stick to what you have learned on your own. Everybody got that?

Heads nod.

Its just a recommendation of how you can learn something, Pettie continues. If you get into the game, it will do you a lot of good, but you dont have to do it to be in good standing with me. If you know what to do, just go out there and do it. If you dont, then Im recommending that you do this for the next month or so. One by one we climb down the ladder and begin trying to become as little children.

CHAPTER ONE

M.D. PETTIE

The game Pettie has just called is but one of hundreds of examples of the mind-expanding and consciousness-raising experiments from his tireless imagination. This is a book about M.D. Pettie and the group that formed around him over the years and came to be known as The Finders. And its a book about my life and how he affected it.

Thats the title he gave himself in the late 1970s, The Gamecaller. Its based on the ultimate in game theory, the notion that all of life is a game made up of a series of sub-games. If you were the instigator of the big bang, the ultimate source of oneness, the switcher-on of the light, and were speculating on existence, how could you come up with something better than the game of life? Wouldnt you make yourself into billions of autonomy-crazed versions of yourself, male and female? And wouldnt you trick yourself into believing, at least temporarily, that you were real, and just flesh and blood? And wouldnt you want to play games? Isnt that what we all do all day long, play games and take them seriously?

Sometimes we say we have to work or were taking a vacation, because we are so caught up in a particular game were playing that we have forgotten who we really are and think were not in charge. But theyre all games: the money game, the family game, the religion game, the nation-state game, the politics game, the fame game, the believing and disbelieving game, the glass bead game. And ultimately some part of ourselves judges how we played. And perhaps, when we get back to the place where it all began, we shake our heads and laugh at our performance and decide that, winner or loser, the game is so much fun that we might just want to play it all over again.