ALSO BY LISA GARDNER
NOVELS
The Perfect Husband
The Other Daughter
The Third Victim
The Next Accident
The Survivors Club
The Killing Hour
Alone
Gone
Hide
Say Goodbye
The Neighbor
Live to Tell
Love You More
Catch Me
Touch & Go
Fear Nothing
Crash & Burn
Find Her
Right Behind You
Look for Me
SHORT WORKS
The 7th Month
3 Truths and a Lie
The 4th Man
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Copyright 2019 by Lisa Gardner, Inc.
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LIBRARY OF CONGRESS CATALOGING-IN-PUBLICATION DATA
Names: Gardner, Lisa, author.
Title: Never tell : a novel / Lisa Gardner.
Description: New York, New York : Dutton, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, [2019]
Identifiers: LCCN 2018042977| ISBN 9781524742089 (hardback) | ISBN 9781524742096 (ebook)
Subjects: MurderInvestigationFiction. | GSAFD: Suspense fiction.
Classification: LCC PS3557.A7132 N48 2019 | DDC 813/.54dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018042977
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Version_1
In memory of Wayne Rock, exceptional detective and human being.
We miss you, my friend.
Contents
Also by Lisa Gardner
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1: EVIE
Chapter 2: D.D.
Chapter 3: FLORA
Chapter 4: EVIE
Chapter 5: D.D.
Chapter 6: FLORA
Chapter 7: EVIE
Chapter 8: D.D.
Chapter 9: FLORA
Chapter 10: EVIE
Chapter 11: D.D.
Chapter 12: FLORA
Chapter 13: EVIE
Chapter 14: D.D.
Chapter 15: FLORA
Chapter 16: EVIE
Chapter 17: D.D.
Chapter 18: FLORA
Chapter 19: EVIE
Chapter 20: D.D.
Chapter 21: FLORA
Chapter 22: EVIE
Chapter 23: D.D.
Chapter 24: FLORA
Chapter 25: EVIE
Chapter 26: D.D.
Chapter 27: FLORA
Chapter 28: EVIE
Chapter 29: D.D.
Chapter 30: FLORA
Chapter 31: EVIE
Chapter 32: D.D.
Chapter 33: FLORA
Chapter 34: EVIE
Chapter 35: D.D.
Chapter 36: FLORA
Chapter 37: EVIE
Chapter 38: D.D.
Chapter 39: FLORA
Chapter 40: EVIE, D.D., AND FLORA
Chapter 41: EVIE, D.D., AND FLORA
Chapter 42: EVIE
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Chapter 1EVIE
BY THE TIME I PULL my car into the garage, my hands are shaking on the wheel. I tell myself I have no reason to feel so nervous. I tell myself Ive done nothing wrong. I still sit there an extra beat, staring straight ahead, as if some magic answer to the mess that is my life will appear in the windshield.
It doesnt.
With a bit of care, I can still slide out of the drivers seat. Im bigger, but not that much bigger. I fight more with my bulky coat, the strap of my oversized purse, as I ease out from behind the steering wheel. Conrad bought me the purse as a Christmas gift last year. From Coach. Real leather. At least a couple of hundred dollars. At the time, Id been so excited Id thrown my arms around him and squealed. Hed laughed, told me hed seen me eyeing the bag in the store and had just known he had to get it for me.
When Id hugged him then, hed hugged me back. When Id laughed that day, and giddily opened up the huge, gray leather bag to explore all the compartments, hed laughed with me.
Christmas morning. Nearly one year ago.
Had we hugged since? Laughed since?
The bulge in my belly would argue wed found some way to connect, and yet, if not for the streams of bright colored lights and gaudy decorations covering my neighborhood, Im not sure it would feel like the holidays at all. As it is, were one of the last undecorated houses on the block. A wreath on our door; thats it. Each weekend we promised to get a tree. Each weekend, we didnt.
I take my time hefting my purse over my shoulder. Then I turn and face the door leading from the garage into the house.
Dead man walking, I think. And something crumples inside me. I dont cry. But Im not sure why.
The door is open. Cracked slightly. As if on the way out, I didnt pull it hard enough shut. Letting out all the heat, my father would say, which causes me a fresh pang of pain.
I push through the interior door, close it firmly behind me. Thats it. Im home. Standing in the mudroom. Another day done. Another night to begin.
Hang up the purse. Shrug out of the coat. Ease off the boots. Bag on the bench. Jacket on the coat rack. Shoes on the mat. I fish my cell phone out of my bag and set it up on the side table to charge. Then, I take a final moment.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Listening for him.
The kitchen? He could be sitting at the table. Waiting in front of a cold dinner. Or pointedly taking the last bite. Or maybe hes moved into the family room, ensconced in his recliner, feet up, beer in hand, eyes glued to ESPN. Sunday is football. Go Patriots. Ive lived in Boston long enough to know that much. But Tuesday night? I never got into sports. Hed watch; Id read. Back in the days when we spent so much time glued together, it seemed natural to also have some time apart.
I dont hear the clinking of silverware from the kitchen. Nor the low rumble of TV from the family room.
Door open, I remember. And my left hand flattens on the relatively small, but noticeable, curve of my belly.
The hall leads me to the kitchen. A spindly table sits in front of the back window. No sign of dinner. But then I notice a rinsed plate lying neatly in the sink.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
I should have a story, I think. An excuse. A lie. Something. But in the growing silence, my thoughts churn more, my brain spinning wildly.
Dead man walking. Dead woman walking?
Im going to vomit. I can blame it on the baby. You can blame anything on pregnancy. Im sick, Im tired, Im stupid, I lost track of time. Baby brain, pregnancy hormones. For nine whole months, nothing has to be my fault. And yet
Why did I come home tonight? Except, of course, where else do I have to go? Ever since I first met Conrad ten years ago He noticed me. He saw me. He forgave me.
And I loved him.
Ten whole years, I have loved him.
I leave the kitchen. Its small and, like the rest of the 1950s house, still in desperate need of updating. We purchased the place with hope and aspiration. Sure it sat on a postage stamp yard, and each room was tinier than the last, but it was ours. And being young and handy, wed fix it up, open it up, then sell it for oodles of money.
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