Kate Rope - Strong as a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood

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This book is dedicated to the WOMEN of the world, whose mental health should be our top priority.

And to the two STRONG little women who gave me the opportunity to learn how to take care of myself as a mom.

And to my HUSBAND , who gave me the space and time to do it.

And to ME , for doing it.

I am so glad that you have picked up this book and that you are making your well-being a priority as you begin the adventure of motherhood. It is not an understatement to say that putting your well-being first will make your transition to motherhood so much easier and will be the foundation for a strong, happier family and life as a mom.

I see the transition to motherhood as existing on a spectrum. Everyone struggles in some way, and there are solutions to all those struggles. What kind of support or intervention you need depends on where you fall on the spectrum. For some women, learning how to get good sleep, moving their bodies regularly, and finding good support may be all they need to find their footing and feel strong.

For others who experience perinatal mood or anxiety disorders, such as postpartum depression or anxiety, finding well-trained mental health support can make the difference between struggling every day and beginning to enjoy motherhood. In rare instances, it can be the difference between life and death. I have made every effort to talk honestly and openly about the mental health challenges women are susceptible to at this time of their lives and to include a wide range of expert resources where they can find help.

But I am not a mental health professional, and this book is not a substitute for current medical advice from a health-care provider who can evaluate your particular situation. Any time you are not feeling like yourself or you are suffering, it is vital for your health and your familys health that you reach out for professional support, and if someone you love is not acting like herself or struggling, it is critical that you help get her to medical care.

Just like gestational diabetes, perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are a medical complication of pregnancy for which there is effective, evidenced-based treatment, and the sooner women access it, the sooner they will recover and be ready to take part in this wild, wonderful journey of motherhood. My wish for you is that the compassionate, knowledgeable words of the experts and moms in this book will be the inspiration you need to start feeling better. Because taking care of you is your most important job.

Welcome. I am so excited you are here! I can safely say this book is not like any other one you have on your nightstand. It is not a parenting book about whether you should let your kid cry it out or have them sleep in the bed next to you. This book is about and for you . It is a guide to actually doing what everyone will tell you to dotake care of yourselfbut no one will show you how to do. This book will.

Motherhood is an incredible journeyprobably the most life-changing you will ever undertake. It has unimaginable highs and, sometimes, completely unexpected lows. It is the hardest job you will ever love, and it is one where you learn on the job every minute of every day.

New and expecting moms are given buckets of information and advice (some good, some terrible, most unsolicited) about how to give birth to babies and raise children, but few of us receive the focused support and wisdom we need to help us adapt to, and thrive in, our new role and new life circumstances. In fact, movies, TV shows, friends, and family often project the image of a seamless transition to motherhood, one in which happiness and confidence come easily.

Yes, there is so much happiness and so many natural moments of wonder ahead, but I dont think theres a mom out there who hasnt struggled through an equal (or greater) number of times when she was unsure of what she was doing, felt overwhelmed by the challenges before her, was too exhausted to think straight, wondered where some part of her had gone to, or just wanted to feel supported, understood, and accepted through all of it.

ALL MO MS A RE WELCOME HERE

Whatever your point of embarkationpregnancy, adoption, third-party reproduction, or another waywhatever your family looks likea mom and a dad, two moms, just you, or another configurationwhatever background or community you come from, whatever challenges you face, this book is for you.

We are all human beings, and we will have different and complicated reactions to different phases and experiences of pregnancy and parenthood. That is not only okay, it is beautiful. It would be so boring if we were all the same.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

Think of it as a nonjudgmental friend who is willing to listen to everythingthe good, the bad, and the uglyand who is committed to lifting you up when you are down, celebrating with you when you are excited, researching the best ways to get you safely over the bumps on the road, and making sure that you really, truly are taking care of yourself. The book is divided into three parts:

PartI:Expecting Strong: Your Emotional Guide to Pregnancy

PartII:Starting Strong: Your Guide to Thriving in the First Year

PartIII:Staying Strong: The Big Picture of Motherhood

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

Part I: For those opening this book beforeor in the early part ofpregnancy, you might want to read straight through.

Part II: If youre picking this book up after pregnancy or you are a non-bio or adoptive mom, this is likely where youll want to begin. It tackles big topics that apply all the way through motherhoodsuch as how to get good sleep for your mental health, ways to make exercise and self-care a habit, how to manage conflict with your partner, sex, mental health disorders and how to get help for them, returning to work, and much more.

Part III the final section, covers the philosophical issues of motherhood, including the historical and current expectations placed on mothers and how they shape the way we treat ourselves as mothers and people. But it also has very practical advice for approaching the job as a learning experience, being kind to yourself when things go differently from how youd wanted, letting go of the urge to compare yourself to others, and why being a good enough mother is the best possible thing you can do for your family and yourself.

Within each part are clearly named sections that will tell you exactly the issues they address, such as:

Why Sleep Matters and How to Get It

Preparing to Feed Your Child in a Way That Works for You

Sex During Pregnancy

Bonding with Babies 101

So, you can also pop in and out of the sections that speak to wherever you are on the journey.

I promise that somewhere in this book you will find a challenge (or twenty-three) you are facing (or have faced) and concrete ways to move through it and arrive at a stronger place.

EXPERT ADVICE

I have woven my personal story into this book, because it is the reason I knew it had to be written, but I spoke with more than one hundred experts who spend all their time researching pregnancy, motherhood, emotional health, and more to offer you scientifically validated solutions and support.