Liz Clark - Swell: A Sailing Surfer’s Voyage of Awakening

Swell

A Sailing Surfers Voyage of Awakening

At Patagonia, we publish a collection of books that reflect our pursuits and our valuesbooks on wilderness, outdoor sports, innovation, and a commitment to environmental activism.

copyright 2018 Patagonia Works

Text Liz Clark

All photograph copyrights are held by the photographer as indicated in captions.

Portions of this text were previously published in other forms.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from publisher and copyright holders. Requests should be emailed to or mailed to Patagonia Books, Patagonia Inc., 259 W. Santa Clara St., Ventura, CA 93001-2717.

FIRST EDITION

Editor Sharon AvRutick

Book Designer Mary Jo Thomas

Photo Editor Jenning Steger

Project Manager Jennifer Patrick

Production Rafael Dunn, Monique Martinez

Creative Director Bill Boland

Creative Advisor Jennifer Ridgeway

Illustrations Daniella Manini

Publisher Karla Olson

Printed in Canada on 100 percent post-consumer recycled paper

Hardcover ISBN 978-1-938340-54-3
E-Book ISBN 978-1-938340-55-0
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017958742

COVER Captain Liz and Swell. JIANCA LAZARUS
OPENING SHOT When will you begin that long deep journey into yourself? Rumi. JIANCA LAZARUS
BACK COVER Anchors down, surfs up. Ready for sea on my skin after
three days of upwind sailing. JIANCA LAZARUS

In loving memory of
Dr. Arent H. Barry Schuyler,
forever my sailing companion.
To my beloved father,
Russell J. Clark, for always
believing in me.
And for my dearest soulmate,
Amelia the Tropicat,
may we meet again soon.

At sea, I learned how little a person needs, not how much. Robin Lee Graham. JIANCA LAZARUS

If you have built castles in the sky, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. H.D. Thoreau. SHANNON SWITZER SWANSON

Adventure is worthwhile in itself. Amelia Earhart. JODY MACDONALD

All in, determined to learn the art of backside tube riding. JEFF JOHNSON

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving. Lao Tzu. SHANNON SWITZER SWANSON

Climbing like a local after months of practice. CHRIS MCGEOUGH

Broken autopilot, busted wind vane equal long hours at the helm. JIANCA LAZARUS

Learning to sail in San Diego Bay, age eight. RUSSELL CLARK

AUTHORS NOTE

Ive come to believe that pursuing our dreams is as important to fulfilling our souls as it is to creating a better world. Doing so taps into a power greater than our own, allowing us to break free from perceived limitations. A path opens toward our highest Self and a daring kind of spiritual freedom and connectedness that could collectively transform the world. Each of us has a unique journey that is ours to claim. My hope is that by sharing both my inner and outer voyages on these pages, you will be inspired to listen more closely to the yearnings of your heart, to face your inner dragons, and to decide to choose love over fear, again and again.

Specific locations have been left out of this book because I believe the greatest inspiration comes not from a road map or waypoint, but from igniting the imagination to what is possible.

La
Capitana

Dont Give Up the Ship

Its still so close. Should I just go back?

Reflections bend and weave across the dark, surging sea. I sit on the aft deck with my legs hanging over the rail, looking toward the glowing coastline. Its nearly midnight, chilly and silent. Swell rocks gently at anchor at a small island just south of the United StatesMexico border. City lights halo San Diego and Tijuana. A mere thirty miles of ocean separate me from the safety of the wooden dock we were tied to a few hours ago. I wiped away tears after casting off Swells lines and watching a handful of my dearest loved ones gradually blend into the hazy winter skyline in our wake. Today is the thirtieth of January 2006, two weeks short of three years since acquiring this sailboat.

I blink with fatigue as I try to convince myself to feel excited and proud after the seemingly endless preparation. But my fear and anxiety dont want to negotiate. My inner turmoil seems written in the sky. To the north: light, familiarity, comfort, safety, family. To the south: dark, unknown, doubt.

Ive been dreaming of this voyage all my life, but Im a wreck of nerves. Its not rogue waves or pirates Im worrying aboutits the thought of failure. The horizons are calling. I want to sail away, surf remote breaks, learn from other cultures, find happiness and a better way to live in harmony with nature, but what if I make a stupid mistake? What if someone gets hurt? What if Im not strong enough in mind or body? How would I ever get over the disappointment of failing myself and everyone who has helped me? Dread rises, tightening my throat as I think about the countless people who have supported me in getting to this moment. I imagine myself hiding somewhere in the desert rather than facing them with the news that Ive run aground or hit a reef. Yes, I should go back and do some more reasonable sea trials before I sail off for good.

A sea lion abruptly breaks the sea surface below my feet. He twirls and loops just under the water, spinning glittery ribbons of neon phosphorescence through the dark sea. He swoops and frolics, carefree and confident. My shoulders relax a bit.