Michelle Tea - Modern Tarot

Contents

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MICHELLE TEA is the author of ten books of memoir, fiction, and poetry, including the award-winning Valencia (now a film) and the speculative memoir Black Wave. She is the editor of the Sister Spit imprint of City Lights Publishers and of the Amethyst Editions imprint of The Feminist Press. She lives in Los Angeles, CA.

Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.

The Beautiful

Mermaid in Chelsea Creek

Girl at the Bottom of the Sea

Castle on the River Vistula

Black Wave

How to Grow Up: A Memoir

Valencia

Without a Net: The Female Experience of Growing Up Working Class

Rent Girl

Girl at the Bottom of the Sea

Rose of No Mans Land

The Chelsea Whistle

The Passionate Mistakes and Intricate Corruption of One Girl in America

Cover design and illustration: Connie Gabbert

MODERN TAROT. Copyright 2017 by Michelle Tea. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST EDITION

Illustrations Copyright 2017 Amanda Verwey

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Tea, Michelle, author.

Title: Modern tarot : connecting with your higher self through the wisdom of the cards / Michelle Tea ; illustrated by Amanda Verwey.

Description: FIRST EDITION. | San Francisco : HarperOne, 2017.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017027344 | ISBN 9780062682406 (hardcover)

Subjects: LCSH: Tarot.

Classification: LCC BF1879.T2 T365 2017 | DDC 133.3/2424--dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017027344

EPub Edition June 2017 ISBN 9780062460103

For the Witches who do not know they are Witches,

And for the ones who do.

Ive been reading tarot cards since I was fifteen years old, when Danny Frizi, a then-closeted gay boy who loved Axl Rose so much that he spent his extracurricular time listening to Sweet Child OMine on his headphones and weeping, gave me my first deck. He had an afterschool job at Barnes & Noble and swiped a Rider-Waite deck for me, a great starting deck, the classic tarot that most other decks riff on. I thought it was great that Danny gave it to me because Id heard a superstition that you werent supposed to buy your own tarot cards, they were meant to be gifts.

I treated my deck of cards as reverently as Id heard you ought to. I wrapped them in silk (I think it was silk, it might have been polyester) and tucked them under my pillow, thereby ruining many a night of sleep. I learned the deck by practicing on my witchy, Goth friends, teenagers who accompanied me to New England spell boutiques like Arsenic and Old Lace, where the walls were stacked with jars of herbs, and on pilgrimages to Salem, Massachusetts, to explore the many occult shops and bookstores. As I continued to read cards, and have my own read by my friends, I was in a growing state of awe at their intuitive accuracy, the way the small stories encapsulated in each illustration knit together into a wider narrative that made sense, sometimes poetic, sometimes chillingly pointed. I didnt know how the Tarot worked its magic, but I didnt feel the need to, either. There are many mysteries in the world, and I was thrilled to have a relationship with this one.

As I grew older and moved out into the wider world I became acquainted with the variety of tarot cards that are available. The Thoth Deck, designed by the drug-addled mystic Aleister Crowley, gave strong readings. So did Daughters of the Moon, a lesbian feminist deck, purple and circular with a single optional male card. The Secret Dakini Oracle came to me via a street reader in Tucson, Arizona, and its collaged imagery, both playful and nightmarish, is a cosmic riddle. When I made my way to San Francisco in my early twenties, my first job was reading tarot cards on Haight Street. Still sensitive to so many tarot-related superstitions, I didnt charge for my readings but solicited donations. I recall receiving a rock from a hippie (not a crystal, mind you, but a rock) and a single American Spirit from a street kid. I also got great advice about getting food stamps, which kept me fed as I tried to find my place so far from home.

Eventually I was plucked from the streets and into a Haight Street boutique called Love, which sold incense and essential oils and lovely candles I aspired to afford. I charged a fixed, modest price for my readings, and in the more professional environment I grew more focused and learned more about the craft. I recall one client, brooding and sulky, practically tossing her ten-dollar bill at me. I spread the cards across the floor, but oddly they made no sense. I could not connect their stories together into a larger, helpful narrative. Im sorry, I sputtered, returning the ten-dollar bill to the girl. I dont know whats going on, but I just cant make sense of this.

I knew this was bullshit, she replied, smiling for the first time, bitterly vindicated. She left me in the wake of her bad vibes, and something important was revealed to me: If the person receiving the reading doesnt actually believe in the Tarot, the Tarot doesnt work, like a fairy whose existence has to be affirmed for her to survive. Tarot readings are an exchange of trusting energy between the reader and the seeker, and if that faithful collaboration is missingin my experiencethe magic does not happen.

Further study into the Tarot, in particular the connection between the Tarot and the Kabbalah beefed up my skills so that I was able to give a decent reading with a deck of playing cards, or even a deck of Uno cards, substituting colors for suits and working my knowledge of the properties of each number. This might sound silly, but it increased my respect for the underlying numerical system of the Tarot, as well as the undeniable magic that occurs when two people come together to earnestly practice divination.

Due to space and time limitations my professional tarot practice has died down, but I still seek the wisdom of the cards regularly, and often use them to assist friends in need. It is also