Bobrow - Waking up from war: a better way home for veterans and nations

The costs of war are so great that we just have to find ways to resolve our differences that do not involve killing one another. The speaker is not the Dalai Lama or the Pope or Dr. King. He is Major General Mike Myatt, USMC, speaking over the serried graves of 30,000 American warriors in the San Francisco National Cemetery. He is speaking the truth as only a warrior can understand it. In Waking Up from War, Joseph Bobrow stuns us with that truth revealed, often through the words of warriors, in ways we cannot fail to grasp, to grieve over, and to lament our failure to deal with. Read this book and begin to understand a great deal about how we are neglecting our men and women veterans, about what is wrong today in America, and most vitally, about how to change for the better both situations.

Lawrence Wilkerson, Colonel (Ret.), U.S. Army; former Chief of Staff for Gen. Colin Powell

Dr. Joe Bobrow is a true American hero. Hes worked tirelessly to support our community through the hardest times and the toughest spots. He overflows with wisdom and has been a real leader. His dedication, innovative approach, and compassion serve as an example and an inspiration to people worldwide. His words should be a wake-up call for anyone who cares about the future of our country.

Paul Rieckhoff, Founder and CEO, Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America; author of Chasing Ghosts

Waking Up from War is a must read not only for mental health professionals treating our veterans and their families, but for all of us. Bobrows emphasis on the need for an accepting and compassionate culture that will truly listen to the moral suffering of our veterans is profoundly important.

Judith Broder, MD, Founder, The Soldiers Project

Joseph Bobrow has captured the soul of the young Americans who go to war to defend our freedoms. His book tells the story of the Coming Home Project as it shepherds our veterans back into their communities and families, and goes beyond usual approaches to support and nourish their deepest experience.

Stephen N. Xenakis, MD, Brigadier General (Ret.)

In this poetic guide, Joe Bobrow uniquely combines Western psychoanalysis and Eastern Zen Buddhism to create a practical and holistic approach to helping veterans and their families recover from war-zone trauma. I like Joes ideas, but I love his heart. His deep compassion for the warrior and respect for the warrior ethos are written on every page.

Bill Nash, MD, Former Head, U.S. Marine Corps Combat and Operational Stress Control programs

Joseph Bobrow combines psychology, Zen Buddhism, years of experience as the founder and leader of the Coming Home Project, and a wise and understanding heart, to write what I am sure will become a classic text on how to bring our warriors home and back into community. I often use his idea of turning ghosts into ancestors when talking with veterans and their familiesand it hits home every time. This book hits home page after page.

Karl Marlantes, best-selling author of What It Is Like to Go to War and Matterhorn: A Novel of the Vietnam War and decorated Marine Corps veteran

A candid account of deep pain and great healing, Waking Up from War is something we can all learn from. Profound commonsense wisdom shines through this chronicle of war and recovery. This vital understanding is applicable to so many of the varieties of pain we face today. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wishes to see our human situation more clearly and more compassionately.

Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness

Bravo! Waking Up from War says what needs to be said, and does so with intelligence and compassion. It is both a compelling critique of our nations involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan, and a no-holds-barred expos of how weve betrayed those we send in harms way. Dr. Bobrows Coming Home Project has made a huge difference for many veterans and their families. This book tells the story of that journey as it trenchantly addresses our collective ambivalence about war and its resultant impact on wars survivors.

John Briere, PhD, Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Psychology, USC Medical School; coauthor of Principles of Trauma Therapy

Pitchstone Publishing

Durham, North Carolina

www.pitchstonepublishing.com

Copyright 2015 by Joseph Bobrow

All rights reserved

Printed in the USA

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Bobrow, Joseph.

Waking up from war : a better way home for veterans and nations / Joseph Bobrow ; foreword by H. H. The 14th Dalai Lama.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-63431-032-1 (hardcover : alk. paper)

1. VeteransMental health servicesUnited States. 2. Veterans familiesUnited StatesPsychology. 3. Post-traumatic stress disorderUnited States. 4. Coming Home Project (Organization) 5. Iraq War, 2003-2011VeteransMental healthUnited States. 6. Afghan War, 2001VeteransMental healthUnited States. I. Title.

UH629.3.B63 2015

362.2086970973dc23

2015015108

Cover image description and credit: Sgt. 1st Class Justin Hathaway, United States Forces Iraq Provost Marshal Office operations noncommissioned officer in charge, braves a sandstorm after leaving the 9th Air and Space Expeditionary Task ForceIraq and U.S. ForcesIraq Provost Marshal Office at Al Asad Air Base, Iraq, September 27, 2011. U.S. Air Forces Central, Baghdad Media Outreach Team Photo by Master Sgt. Cecilio Ricardo.

For all the veterans, service members, and their families, children, and care providers with whom I have had the privilege of learning and growing.

For my son Aaron, and for all sons and daughters everywhere: Pacem.

In loving memory of Jean Sanville and Hedda Bolgar.

I have always believed that Gandhis way of using nonviolence to achieve political goals is the best way to solve international problems. Almost every conflict can be solved by sincere negotiations. We know all too well how many lives were lost and how much destruction was wrought during two world wars and the conflicts that followed them in the last century.

Wars are fought to achieve a desired goal. But wars results are unpredictable and almost always detrimental. This has been especially true with the wars fought in recent memory. When war breaks out, nations send their young men and women to face off with the intention of protecting civilians and defending the nation. But soldiers are also human beings and also wish for safety. Cant we realize how great is the suffering they undergo as a result of wars?

The suffering war creates is universal. Veterans leave the battlefield with physical, moral, and emotional injuries that can last a lifetime. When one combatant is killed or maimed, five or ten othersrelatives and friendssuffer also. We should be horrified by this tragedy.

I am deeply happy to learn that since 2007, Joseph Bobrow and the interdisciplinary team at Coming Home Project have made the inner peace of veterans and their families their priority and have dedicated themselves to helping them. They are now bringing out a book titled