Budge Patrick - Gordon Ramsay cooking for friends

As a chef, I work at a thousand miles an hour, but when Im at home, I want to slow down. I leave my chefs jacket at work, and I walk into a domestic setting, where everything is completely different. At home, our kitchen is family-run, and its a relaxed place.

A lot of people see cooking as a chore, but we bring an element of fun into it. For me, its a therapy, and its happening more and more that I cook with Tana and the children, especially Megan, my oldest. The kitchen is open-plan, with a large sofa and space to unwind. The focus is on the stove, which was built in Paris. It needed a concrete plinth as its foundation, to carry the weight, and after it was installed, the kitchen was built around it. The stove has a chrome-faced, water-cooled frontage so the kids cant burn themselves while theyre involved in the food preparation, slicing scallions or grating fresh Parmesan.

I cant sit at home with my feet up, reading the newspaper. But having said that, I am beginning to learn about being calm. Everyone always imagines that it must be hectic in the Ramsays kitchen, but its not. We turn cooking into serious fun. To an extent, everything we do is spontaneous. Were very lucky in that we have some great farmers markets nearby. The kids will go and buy cheese, fresh organic chicken, and a selection of the farmers vegetables. They become totally involved in the shopping, even putting aside a percentage of their weekly allowance to buy food. They really love that. Have a young child pay for a pound of turnips or carrots, and then see how excited they are about whats on the plate later.

My kids get an allowance according to their age. Megans nine, so shes on 9. The twins, Holly and Jack, are on 8, and Tilly is on 6. They all wait for their birthdays because they know theyll get a 1 increase.

They are learning that in order to live well and have a healthy lifestyle, they have to eat well. If none of them pursues cooking as a career, thats not going to upset me. I just need to know that they will one day be able to fend for themselves in the kitchen.

The naughtiest child on the day gets to do the dishwashing. Whoevers not on washing-up duty will set the table. We do have a dishwasher, but its rarely used, unless we have a big party going on in the garden. I think the kids need to know what its like to wash the dishes.

When I was a child, we had a cleaning rota at home. I didnt grow up with dishwashers and everything being done for you. As four children, we were all involved, and Mum managed a strict rota, so no one escaped their turn at the dishwashing, even though we had busy lives: me with my soccer and the others with their music.

Im a bit old-fashioned in this way. I dont have rules and regulations at home, but what I do have is a very hands-on family. Its not me standing there, cooking away and everyone watching. On Saturday morning, after the girls have been to the gym and Jack has finished his soccer practice, we come back and prepare a late lunch together. We wont eat dinner until seven thirty, eight oclock, and then it will be a slow braise. For Sunday lunch, we have friends and family around. Over the weekend, we might indulge in a dessert, but Monday to Friday dinner is a substantial main course followed by fruit.

Not everything we eat comes from the farmers market. It would be great, but just not practical. Tana will shop two or three times a week at a supermarket, and I have to say that some of the supermarkets are doing some really good, interesting food lines. Out of respect for real quality ingredients, we also go to specialist purveyors, like our butcher. Knowing where your food comes from and being able to trace it right back to its source is important to me.

Id rather spend more and eat less, buy the best quality ingredients and savor them, buy what we need and no more. Sometimes I find it embarrassing when I see the amount of food that we, as a nation, waste.

I find it frustrating that we are forgetting that there has always been a traditional British cuisine, and that it doesnt have to revolve around steak and kidney pie, or fish and chips. I remember watching my mother cook at the Cobweb tearooms in Stratford-upon-Avon, making ham hock and barley soup, white veal stew, and the most amazing honey-glazed roast hamall, of course, served with fries. What you dont see nowadays is the way she used to stud the ham with cloves and caramelize it. All that now-forgotten, unfashionable stuff was traditional British cooking. Wonderful, but cast aside in our haste to experiment with modern fads.

We are at risk of trying to make food too sophisticated as we move along, changing ingredients to follow whats in vogue. The words trendy food, trendy restaurants, and, especially, trendy chef make me cringe. It is not always necessary to use foie gras with the finest filet mignon and line-caught turbot. Sometimes its just better to braise some oxtail and cook with mackerel, pollack, or barramundi.

Im always excited around food. There are so many opportunities to prepare and eat good food in the home if you have the patience and determination. I am sure that once you are good at making fabulous fresh pasta, you will want to make ravioli. Once youve mastered the perfect ravioli, you will want to get more intricate with the filling. A domestic kitchen is a far superior place to what it was ten years ago, with amazing gadgets and appliances. Most of us are competitive. We want to outdo our neighbors. We know and understand the importance of eating well. So if you mix that with a peacock desire to be the one who hosts the best dinner parties, you will be on the path to a whole new dimension in your life at home.

But dont get overconfident and miss the point when preparing a dinner party. Lighten up, have a glass of wine. Have your guests in the kitchen with you, and instead of showing off to them, involve them. Delegate the first course and the dessert while you tend to the main course. What can be difficult for me when going to dinner parties is people hanging on your every forkful. The food has been prepared in order to be enjoyed. It should be relaxing, not taking you into a stress zone.