Batchelor Amy - Startup life surviving and thriving in a relationship with an entrepreneur

CONTENTS

Additional Praise for Startup Life

Being an entrepreneur is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Staying happily married is one of the others. Brad and Amy show us how to successfully do both. My wife and I loved this book. Mandatory reading for any entrepreneur who doesnt want to live alone... Forever.

Dr. Sean Wise, Professor of Entrepreneurship & Strategy, Ryerson University

Bursting with revealing personal insights, tested strategies and case-studies, Startup Life lays out a path to sanity and success for entrepreneurs seeking to build not only a game-changing business, but a vibrant and engaged relationship along the way.

Jonathan Fields, author of Uncertainty

Weve experienced the mix of marriage, children, and several high-growth companies and even now while helping people across the United States develop startups and startup communities the path is similar. While entrepreneurship is critical to drive our economy, navigating it as a family is extremely challenging. Amy and Brad draw on wisdom from entrepreneurs and their own life to provide a phenomenal roadmap for you to maximize the upside and minimize the downside.

Scott Case, CEO, Startup America Partnership & Leslie Case, Manager SAKR LLC

Through my work as founder and CEO of National Center for Women & Information Technology, Brad and I have had numerous conversations about issues entrepreneurs, especially women; have around work-life balance. In this book, Brad and Amy cover much new ground in articulating what has worked for them and giving any entrepreneurial couple a framework for thinking about how to integrate entrepreneurial work and life.

Lucy Sanders, CoFounder and CEO, National Center for Women & Information Technology

Cover illustrations: Silhouetted people 46/istockphoto; Business People Sitting 46/istockphoto; city Background: C. Wallace

Cover design: C. Wallace

Copyright 2013 by Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

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ISBN 978-1-118-44364-4 (cloth); 978-1-118-51686-7 (ebk); 978-1-118-51685-0 (ebk); 978-1-118-49386-1 (ebk)

To the believers and the empiricists: those who are willing to love .

PREFACE

It was the summer of 2000. The NASDAQ had peaked, and while things werent yet in free fall, it was clear that Internet-related companies had some major stress in front of them. Brad had spent a week on the East Coast totally maxed out in 18-hour days at numerous companies in which he was an investor. We had a relaxing weekend planned with longtime friends in Newport, Rhode Island, and Brad was looking forward to catching his breath.

A town car picked up Amy at Logan Airport and then swung by an office park in the Boston suburbs to pick up Brad. He came out of the office on his cell phone, dragging his luggage, and somehow managed to get in the car while continuing the conversation. He waved a quick hello to Amy and continued talking. The driver took off on the 90-minute drive to Newport.

About halfway there he finished his call. He hung up, turned to a moderately annoyed-looking Amy, and said a more enthusiastic hello. We chatted for a few minutes and his phone rang again. He answered immediately and launched into another conversation that lasted until we got to our friends house.

It was late Friday afternoon in Newport on a beautiful summer day. We settled into chairs in our friends backyard with a drink. Brad pulled a pile of paper out of his bag and set it in front of him. Smartphones werent very smart in 2000, and Wi-Fi wasnt ubiquitous yet, so he often dragged around a bunch of stuff he had to read and used downtime like late Friday afternoon to grind through it.

Amy and our friends chatted while Brad turned the pages on what felt like an infinite pile of stuff to read. Eventually, it was time to head to dinner, so we all hopped in the car and went to a nice seafood restaurant in downtown Newport. Our food had just appeared when Brads cell phone rang. He answered it, excused himself from the table, and walked outside to take the call. Thirty minutes later he reentered the restaurant to Amy and our friends eating dessert. Amy had a profoundly annoyed look on her face, but Brad figured he would relax on Saturday and Sunday and everything would be okay.

When we got into bed an hour or so later, Brad could sense that something was wrong.

Im done, said Amy.

Yeah, this was a bitch of a week. Ive got a couple of companies that are imploding, and it seems like nothing is going right anywhere. Im exhausted. Im glad its the weekendIm done with this week also, Brad replied.

No. Im done. Not with the week. But with living this way. You arent even a good roommate anymore. I love you, but I just dont want to live this way. Im done.

Silence. Even though Brad is a guy, he knew that at moments like this the goal should not be to solve the problem. As uncomfortable as it was, he let the silence sit in the air, partly because he had no idea what to say.

Eventually, Brad quietly responded, Wow, Ive really fucked up to get things to this point. Im not done, but if you are, then its on me to try to change. I hope youll give me one more chance.