Goldman Ronald Lyle - If I did it: confessions of the killer

IF I DID IT

PROLOGUE BY PABLO F. FENJVES
AFTERWORD BY DOMINICK DUNNE
EPILOGUE BY PETER AVEN, ESQ.

CONFESSIONS OF THE KILLER

WITH EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY
BY
THE GOLDMAN FAMILY

I F I D ID I T Copyright 2007 by Ron Goldman, LLC

He Did It Copyright 2007 by Kim Goldman
Prologue Copyright 2007 by Pablo F. Fenjves
Afterword Copyright 2007 by Dominick Dunne
Introduction Copyright 2008 by The Goldman Family
Following the Law Copyright 2008 by Peter Haven Esq.

FIRST EDITION

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available

ISBN 978-0-8253-0593-1

Published in the United States by Beaufort Books, New York www.beaufortbooks.com

Distributed by Midpoint Trade Books, New York www.midpointtrade.com

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

WE DEDICATE THIS BOOK

To Ron

You brought lasting joy to our lives, pride and love to our hearts.
Your bravery gives us strength and courage
and will always be our inspiration.
You are in our thoughts every minute of every day.
Loving You Now, Missing You Always

To All Victims of Crime

We know your road is long and painful.
We wish you peace and justice as you travel.

O UR FAMILY IS so important. Without our deep bond, we would not be where we are today.

Patti, your unwavering love and support have been amazing. Thank you for believing in what we are doing and encouraging us to keep going.

Lauren, Jason, Samantha, and Michael, thank you for your love and support, and for always being in our corner.

Sammy, we wish you could have known your Uncle Ron. You have his eyes and his sweet-natured spirit. You will always be Mommys inspiration.

Our friends who get angry when we do, who let us cry when it cant be contained, and who always step in to lend a hand, your support, encouragement, laughter, and warmth will always be remembered.

Kim wanted to specifically acknowledge just a few people in her life who help her find balance and offer comfort: The Woodgerd Family, The Whitecrow Family, The Repovich Family, The Iacopetti Family, Christine Buckley, Michele Azenzer, John Ziegler, Sharyn Rosenblum, Todd Greenfield, and The Board of Directors for the SCV Youth Project, that gives her the time she needs away from her work to fight the good fight.

Our incredible team of attorneys whose passion and commitment to our family has been overwhelming: Expressing gratitude doesnt seem to be enough. We have always told you that your choosing to join our efforts to help us get justice for Ron means the world to us. Your vision, encouragement, patience, personal sacrifices, and business and legal sense balanced beautifully with your compassion, warmth, humor, and sensitivity. You made this happen. You make us proud.

Jonathan Polak, if we hadnt taken your call a year ago, where would we be today? Your willingness to think outside the box and your tenacity are contagious. Thank you for giving us room to feel our way through this painful process.

Peter Haven, for always reminding us to just follow the law. Thank you for your integrity, loyalty, and for always being the voice of reason.

David Admiral Cook, your relentless and crazy approach was just what we needed. You are a force with which to reckon. We are so glad you are on our side.

Paul Battista, you handled yourself with grace under tremendous pressure; your ability to jump in and get the job done was incredible.

Eric Kampmann and the staff at Beaufort Books, you took an enormous risk and we appreciate that more than you will ever understand. You saw an opportunity to make a difference and stepped up to make it happen. Your professionalism, kindness, and bravery speak volumes.

Michael Wright, you got it from the get go. Thank you for keeping us on the right path and for never missing a beat or missing the point. Thank you for making this process manageable. And thank you for keeping a muzzle on this crazy bunch!

Pablo F. Fenjves, our family appreciates your willingness to contribute and share your insight. Thank you.

Dominick Dunne, we are in awe of you. You have an incredible ability to be eloquent in the darkest of moments. Your friendship, support, and empathy over the last thirteen years have been such a gift to us. Thank you for taking time to contribute your heartfelt words; there is no one else who could have said it quite like you. We love you.

Thirteen years ago, across this country, the public wrapped its collective arms around us and helped us navigate our way through an incredibly difficult time. You continue to offer us that same support today. Your warmth and constant encouragement have been overwhelming and touch us deeply.

To the countless number of families impacted by crime, your pain is all too real to us. We take this journey with you, embarking upon a never-ending search for peace, calm, and justice. We continue to give each other strength and hope. You inspire us to keep going. Thank you for your courage and steadfast determination. We are proud to be in your presence.

The Goldman Family

If I Did It, a book so controversial that HarperCollins canceled it and destroyed 400,000 copies, was published on September 13, 2007 with our names on the cover. In the wake of its publication, we received daily, sometimes hourly, updates about how the book was moving up the bestseller list. Between Amazon, the Wall Street Journal, and the New York Times, we were steadily climbing at a rapid pace, hot on the heels of Bill Clintons book, Giving. And each time we received an email with the subject line #4 on we hit delete.

A year after its initial publication, we are still not able to fully embrace the success of this book. We continue to struggle with the notion that our name is attached to a book written by the beast that killed Ron and Nicole, so to have the book be successful, for whatever reason, provokes an internal conflict. This book project had so many twists and turns, enmeshed with so many different personalities, emotions, issues, and goals. In a weird morbid way, the only person really dictating the outcome was the killer himself. Not knowing that would be the case at the outset, we entered into a world that was like nothing that we had ever experienced before.

Producers from the Oprah Winfrey talk show began calling Kim months before we ever obtained the rights to the If I Did It book. Having been on the show before, she had a relationship with some of the staff, so the initial conversations were casual and informative. At some point, the producers threw out the idea of having Kim on the show with Denise Brown, sort of a sister vs. sister show to talk about the issues percolating just below the surface between the two families that now shared very little except having lost a family member to the killers rampage. It was no surprise that there was tension. After all, Denise made no effort to disguise her negative feelings towards our family. It was very difficult to endure her comments, and despite wanting to share our side of the story,