Brooks - Forbidden knowledge: 101 things no one should know how to do

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First Adams Media trade paperback edition October 2019

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Interior design by Allen Boe and Sylvia McArdle

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Brooks, Owen, author.

Title: Forbidden knowledge / Owen Brooks.

Description: Avon, Massachusetts: Adams Media, 2019.

Identifiers: LCCN 2019023014 | ISBN 9781507211076 (pb) | ISBN 9781507211083 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Conduct of life--Humor.

Classification: LCC PN6231.C6142 B76 2019 | DDC 818/.602--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019023014

ISBN 978-1-5072-1107-6

ISBN 978-1-5072-1108-3 (ebook)

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Simon & Schuster, Inc., was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

Certain sections of this book deal with activities that would be in violation of various federal, state, and local laws if actually carried out. We do not advocate the breaking of any law. The authors, Adams Media, and Simon & Schuster, Inc. do not accept liability for any injury, loss, legal consequence, or incidental or consequential damage incurred by reliance on the information or advice provided in this book. The information in this book is for entertainment purposes only.

Contains material adapted from the following title published by Adams Media, an Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.: The Most Forbidden Knowledge by Michael Powell and Matt Forbeck, copyright 2013 by Gusto Company AS, ISBN 978-1-4405-6092-7.

Welcome to Forbidden Knowledge.

From simple things like crashing a wedding or beating a speed camera to somewhat more complicated stuff like staging an insurance scam or pirating copyrighted files, this ultimate manual of things that are way out of bounds shows you what life on the edge is really like. Whether its getting a job youre not qualified for or conning yourself into the space program, Forbidden Knowledge looks at scenarios from the extremely dangerous (navigating a minefield) to the outrageously illegal (escaping from prison).

Life can throw a lot of stuff at you, and its just as well to know about some of your options. Not that youll want to try a lot of thembut at least you know theyre there. These entries are an education in intensity. So whether youre in search of the next great adrenaline rush or in need of an innovative escape plan, theres plenty to learn. Now, take a deep breath. Steel yourself. Grit your teeth. Because theres no turning back!

Have you ever looked at scuba equipment and thought, This looks incredibly safe. What if instead of wearing all this gear though, I justyou knowdidnt? Well, youre not alone. Theres an entire sport devoted to people just like you.

Find the nearest swimming pool, hop in, and hold your breath as long as you can. If you can make it more than sixty seconds, congratulations, youre above average! Competitive free divers can hold theirs for more than ten minutes, but hey, its a start.

Before you start training, youll need to decide what aspect of the sport youll be competing in, as your training regimen will differ:

• Static apnea: timed breath holding in a swimming pool.
• Dynamic apnea: underwater swimming in a pool for distance; can be done with or without fins. There are six depth disciplines, which differ in the method of descent and ascent, of which no limits is the sexiest: You use any means of breath holding to dive to depth using a weighted sled and return to the surface along a guideline with the help of an air-filled bag.

Fortunately, humans have the mammalian diving reflex. That means as soon as your face hits the water, you will start to experience a drop in heart rate; your blood vessels will shrink and fill up with plasma to prevent your lungs from collapsing; and blood is directed away from the limbs to the heart, lungs, and brain.

One training method is the apnea walk. You start by relaxing your body and taking a few deep breaths, followed by a one-minute breath hold taken at rest. Then you walk as far as you can without taking a breath (top free divers can walk for over four hundred meters). This trains your muscles to operate under anaerobic conditions and to tolerate the buildup of carbon dioxide in the bloodstream.

Hyperventilating before a dive lowers the level of carbon dioxide in your lungs and bloodstream, which fools your body into thinking that it is less starved of oxygen than it really is. However, it doesnt raise the amount of oxygen, so most free divers only take three or four oxygenating breaths before a dive.

Always train and dive with a friend. Diving alone is the main cause of serious accidents. If you black out, you need a friend to drag you back to the surface and give you the kiss of life.

Only consider a jail break if you are on death row or serving a life sentence with little chance of parole. Otherwise, you would be wiser to do your time. It is worth considering the consequence of a failed escape attempt: solitary confinement, an increase in your sentence, or drowning in the freezing waters off whatever godforsaken prison island youve managed to get yourself stuck on.

If you are disorganized or lack the necessary temperament to plan and execute a getaway over several months, you are more suited to an opportunistic escape: a door left unlocked, a faulty electric perimeter fence, etc. However, you may have to wait a long time for such an opportunity to present itself, time better spent tunneling a hole behind the toilet.

Also, if you consider that the odds of one door being left unlocked are a hundred to one, if you have to get through five doors to reach freedom, the chances of all five of them being unlocked at the same time are one in ten billion. To put this into perspective, youre two million times more likely to die in the first thirty days after total knee replacement surgery.