Harrison - In-between fays: a memoir about living with cancer / Teva Harrison

Beautiful, heartbreaking, honest, and true, In-Between Days explores not just what it means to live with terminal cancer, but what it means to live with integrity in the face of our mortality. I couldnt put it down. Alison Pick, author of Between Gods and Far to Go

With great wisdom, Teva Harrison understands that her cancer doesnt make her special. But this book certainly does. Through her art and her words, we are reminded of the power of creativity, and that hope for the future is an essentially creative act. Andrew Westoll, author of The Chimps of Fauna Sanctuary

Teva Harrisons diagnosis with incurable cancer removes the expectation of an abundance of moremore dreams fulfilled, more timebut focuses her attention on the near and immediate. In this honest and raw memoir, Harrison examines and discovers, grieves and celebrates, and takes us with her as she crafts a ragged and resonant beauty from her experience in these In-Between Days . Miranda Hill, author of Sleeping Funny

How does a person live with meaningand joyin the face of a terminal cancer diagnosis? Teva Harrison answers this question with pitch-perfect honesty and clarity, even when delving into her own complex contradictions. From Harrisons rigorous honesty comes wisdom. In-Between Days is a beautiful offering. This book fills my heart. The world is lucky to have Teva Harrison. She truly knows how to live, and to love. Angie Abdou, author of Between

Tevas art and reflections powerfully capture the struggles of being young and facing the certain, yet uncertain, end of your life. May we all be this honest with ourselves as we deal with lifes challenges. Inspiring, insightful, contemplative. Thank you, Teva. Geoff Eaton, Executive Director, Young Adult Cancer Canada

Theres no real preparation for how hard Teva Harrisons stunning graphic novel will hit you. It doesnt humanize the diseasethat would be banaland it doesnt aggrandize the journeythat would be self-help bunk. Rather, it portrays the process as something achingly human, a daily tumult of stuff that roughly amounts to survival. Teva Harrison has stared into the abyss. And what has stared back but love? Richard Poplak, author of Ja No Man

Teva Harrison is a metastatic voice that I believe is breaking through. By using humour and creativity to draw people in to a challenging topic, Teva is expanding the breast cancer conversation and shedding light on the complexities and nuances of the disease. I believe In-Between Days will help improve public understanding as well as empower and support others dealing with metastatic breast cancer. Beautifully done. MJ DeCoteau, Founder and Executive Director of ReThink Breast Cancer

Preface: Drawing Forward

Prologue: In-Between Days

PART ONE

Diagnosis

learning that i am going to die

Treatment

by the skin of my teeth

Side Effects

what can be withstood

PART TWO

Marriage

love changes everything

Family

a mixed-bag inheritance

Society

finding my way

PART THREE

Hopes

if wishes were horses

Fears

they dont just go bump in the night

Dreams

all tangled up in you

Resources

Acknowledgements

About the Author

About the Publisher

Preface

Drawing Forward

At the age of thirty-seven, I was diagnosed with advanced metastatic breast cancer. My disease is currently incurable, but the wonderful people in my medical team are doing everything they can to turn it into a chronic illness.

In order to make sense of what is happening to my body, I started seeing a psychiatrist within the psychosocial oncology team at my hospital. Talking about cancer turned into talking about my past, about my childhood and the coping mechanisms Id developed, not all of which Id call healthy. Id leave his office churning with complicated emotions.

Back home, all worked up and raw, I started to draw my worst memories, my lived nightmares. An exorcism of sorts. I found myself drawing dark, primitive comics, and then Id feel a bit of peace. Once the story was outside of my head, I could let go a little.

When I showed these illustrations to my doctor, he was so pleased. He encouraged me to keep drawing and see where it took me.

The brain is a tangle of memory, feeling, hope, and dream. Pull on a thread and it all unravels. In order to make sense of my cancer, I found myself working through all the buried, unresolved hurt and memory from my life before cancer.

It took months of drawing about my childhood before I even started to draw about my experience living with the disease.

Ive been an artist my whole life, but this is the first time I have felt the need for narrative. Figuring out how to tell my story with comic strips has been interesting and empowering. When I was first diagnosed, I didnt want to talk to anybody. Ive since learned that its the unspoken that is most frightening. Shining a light on my experiences takes some of the power away from the bogeyman that is my cancer. Im taking my power back.

I hope that by talking about some of the hard stuff, I am helping other people who are living with cancer or other serious illnesses (and their caregivers and supporters) to start conversations with peers and professionals, with their friends and family, and with their doctors.

Teva Harrison

Toronto, Ontario

December 2015