Roberts - Helping Those Who Hurt: a Handbook for Caring and Crisis

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2009 by Barbara M. Roberts

All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce information written directly to those in crisis. No other part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without written permission from NavPress, P.O. Box 35001, Colorado Springs, CO 80935. www.navpress.com

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ISBN: 978-1-60006-382-4

Cover design by studiogearbox
Cover photo by iStock

Some of the anecdotal illustrations in this book are true to life and are included with the permission of the persons involved. All other illustrations are composites of real situations, and any resemblance to people living or dead is coincidental.

Unless otherwise identified, all Scripture quotations in this publication are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version (niv). Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Other versions used include: The Living Bible (tlb), copyright 1971, used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189, all rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Roberts, Barbara M., 1942

Helping those who hurt : a handbook and resource guide for caring and crisis / Barbara M. Roberts.

p. cm.

ISBN 978-1-60006-382-4

1. Peer counseling in the church. 2. Suffering--Religious aspects--Christianity. 3. Pastoral counseling. 4. Church work. I. Title.

BV4409.R63 2009

253.7--dc22

2008036630

Printed in the United States of America

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 / 13 12 11 10 09

MY HEART OVERFLOWS WITH THANKS TO

Liz Heaney my editor, for her wise counsel,
making this a more helpful tool.

Cherry Creek Presbyterian staff my pastors Don Sweeting,
Marty Martin, and Bruce Finfrock, for their commitment to
Caring Ministry, and to Callae Dykstra and LaRue Fleming, for
partnering with me in reaching out to the hurting.

My family my husband, Ken, without whom I would not have
been able to be in pastoral care ministry for all these years. My
children, Kirk and Jay, Gene and Gwen, and Kim and Joe, who
love me and believe in me. My grandchildren Kelle and Jordy;
Jake, Mitchell, and Jeremiah; Tyler, Cooper, Coby, and Peyton,
who bring me great joy. For all of them, my hearts desire is to
leave a legacy of godly care for those in need.

With this remarkable handbook, Barbara Roberts has achieved the near impossible: a thorough guide for helping hurting people that is as inspirational as it is practical. While rich in insight and compassion, this book is richer, still, in wisdom.

M. WAYNE BROWN, MDiv, LMFT, psychotherapist;
author of Water from Stone

Comprehensive, street-wise, biblical, accessible, truth-filled, and compassion-centered. Every caregiver, from group leader to senior pastor, should keep this handbook close by at all times.

BILL DONAHUE, PhD, pastor of leadership development,
Willow Creek Community Church, South Barrington, Illinois

Every believer who seeks to minister to cancer patients, grieving parents, husbands and wives in crisis, and victims of abuse will find this superb handbook a true guide for Jesus-like wisdom and compassion. Barb Roberts offers the distilled wisdom of decades of firsthand pastoral care experience. This practical work of spiritual direction will prove to be an invaluable tool in obeying Christs call to bear one anothers burdens.

DOUG WEBSTER, PhD, professor of pastoral theology,
Beeson Divinity School, Birmingham, Alabama

This book is a rich resource for those who desire to embody the healing presence of God to family and friends suffering through the losses and sadness of life. Barb Roberts has lived the experiences of a caregiver dependent on God for so long that she cannot help but overflow with sound and practical wisdom born of years of first listening to God and then listening to those in pain. The book is like a useful toolbox, pulled off the shelf on numerous occasions to prepare yourself for a work of caring service. In the modern world of mobility and the evaporation of natural support networks, this equipping of the church and its people to be a caring community could not be more crucial.

ROBERT CUTILLO, MD, Inner City Health Center,
Denver, Colorado

Barb Roberts is uniquely gifted to encourage people who are hurting. Drawing upon her wealth of personal experience, she has blessed us with this practical, compassionate, and Christ-centered guide.

BRAD MEULI, president/CEO, Denver Rescue Mission

What can pastors and caretakers do when one of the members of their congregation has a personal crisis? Grab this handbook as a reference! When you are called on to support a hurting person, you need an easy-to-use reference to remind you of the specifics of serving those in that particular situation. This is the book that will be used over and over by people who want to be wise in caring about others.

RUTH GONZALEZ, PhD, psychologist and assistant professor,
Lewis and Clark College, Portland, Oregon

For ten years, I have watched Barb Roberts help those who hurt. When it comes to entering a crisis, she is very wise. She has raised the standard of care at our church and will help you do the same.

DONALD SWEETING, PhD, senior pastor, Cherry Creek
Presbyterian Church, Englewood, Colorado

Helping Those Who Hurt is an excellent resource for those who want to help loved ones and friends in crisis but lack knowledge with how to help in a meaningful way. Robertss rich insights reflect years of experience in ministering to those who are hurting. Her descriptions of the thoughts and feelings of those in difficulty are especially valuable, as they help you put yourself in that suffering friends place.

DR. JEFFREY JEREMIAH, stated clerk, Evangelical
Presbyterian Church, Livonia, Michigan