Sally L. Wilke - Waiting for Good News: Living with Chronic and Serious Illness

My most sincere wish is that the Living with Hope series will offer comfort, wisdomand hopeto individuals facing lifes most common and intimate challenges. Books in the series tackle complex problems such as addiction, parenting, unemployment, pregnancy loss, serious illness, trauma, and grief and encourage individuals, their families, and those who care for them. The series is bound together by a common message for those who are dealing with significant issues: you are not alone. There is hope.

This series offers first-person perspectives and insights from authors who know personally what it is like to face these struggles. As companions and guides, series contributors share personal experiences, offer valuable research from trusted experts, and suggest questions to help readers process their own responses and explore possible next steps. With empathy and honesty, these accessible volumes reassure individuals they are not alone in their pain, fear, or confusion.

The series is also a valuable resource for pastoral and spiritual care providers in faith-based settings. Parish pastors, lay ministers, chaplains, counselors, and other staff and volunteers can draw on these volumes to offer skilled and compassionate guidance to individuals in need of hope.

Each title in this series is offered with prayer for the readers journeyone of discovery, further challenges, and transformation. You are not alone. There is hope.

Beth Ann Gaede, Series Editor

Nurturing Hope: Christian Pastoral Care in the Twenty-First Century
(Lynne M. Baab)

Dignity and Grace: Wisdom for Caregivers and Those Living with Dementia
(Janet L. Ramsey)

Jobs Lost, Faith Found: A Spiritual Resource for the Unemployed
(Mary C. Lindberg)

They Dont Come with Instructions: Cries, Wisdom, and Hope for Parenting Children with Developmental Challenges
(Hollie M. Holt-Woehl)

True Connection: Using the NAME IT Model to Heal Relationships
(George Faller and Heather P. Wright)

Waiting for Good News: Living with Chronic and Serious Illness
(Sally L. Wilke)

I am so grateful to all the family and friends who shared their stories with me. I say throughout this book that asking others about their lives is important, but asking people to share their stories for publication was difficult. I dont want anyone to think that my interest was only to get words to the page. No one refused to talk with me about their illness or the condition of a loved one, although some asked for anonymity or changing their names. They, too, wanted to make someone elses life better and if sharing their story would do that, they were all in.

There are a few people to whom I am especially grateful:

My sister, Sue Kirk, who has always shown up for me with her wisdom, care, and amazing attention to detail, helped me put a manuscript of stories and ideas into publishable form. Her knowledge of grammar, sentence structure, and the contents of several manuals of style saved the day more than once.

Sue Drews spent hours of her topsy-turvy life sharing her grace-filled stories with me. I appreciate her authenticity as she talked with me in the midst of chaos, candid about both the terrors and the deep joys of her familys life since her husbands aneurysm.

I am grateful beyond measure to my kindred spirit, Beth, and my generous colleague, Brian, both of whom talked with me after the death of their loved one. Their candid responses to my probing questions were invaluable.

Finally, I am grateful to my family. I cherish the memories of my precious husband, David, with whom I learned, firsthand, what it means to live with hope. I am so thankful for the loving support of my son Alan and his family, who were affected in many ways during our life with illness. I appreciate the love of my daughter Carli, who struggled along with us and shared her story, and her family, who continue to provide a place of healing.

From the first marked-up draft returned to me from Beth Gaede, I totally understood why authors never fail to thank their editors. She was remarkable to work with and a challenge to my thinking. I wondered what she meant, initially, when she said it would be good to work together. I thought I did the work and she corrected it, but it wasnt like that at all. Beth is an amazing editorshe edited this entire series of books, written by several authors, but always gave me the impression her work life revolved around mine. I will never be able to thank you enough, Beth.

Listening to one another is among the greatest gifts we are able to provide and, in the process, we learn and are blessed.

The emergency room was quiet until we entered. Then the lights came on, the questions began, and people rushed from room to desk to telephone and back again. Nurses and technicians came in, did what they needed to, and darted out again. By the time my husband was settled in a room, the fear was overwhelming. Each time someone entered his room, my stomach took a dive and my whole body began to shake. The tears didnt fall but constantly clouded my eyes. Each new test, every change in breathing, every alarm or bell, sent fear speeding through me. I felt like I could not breathe. The appearance of a chaplain or pastor immediately intensified my anxiety. Our life with serious illness began with internal bleeding that nearly took my husbands life.

The ups and downs, starts and stops of the weeks and months that followed were more like riding on an elevator gone rogue than a car trip though rolling mountains or even a wild roller-coaster ride. The prayers began before the decision to rush him to the emergency room and continued daily, often minute-by-minute, as we dealt with fear, questions, and discovering what we needed to know to live with his condition. There was more to learn about his illness, possible treatments, and daily care. We would never again be the same. My husbands illness changed not only his life but our familys life forever.

After a series of blood transfusions and treatments to stabilize his condition, the terror abated. It was several weeks before we received the final diagnosis. The hepatitis C that had entered his bloodstream more than twenty-five years earlier had nearly destroyed his liver and was responsible for the bleed. And there was no cure. Hope kept us moving and weekly treatments kept us focused, but the question remained, Would his liver regenerate itself before he died?