PRAISE FOR
FIERCE CONVERSATIONS
Susan Scott delivers a wealth of uncommon common sense.... Her warmth and skill as a coach and counselor provide the healthy nudges we all need from time to time to jump in, get engaged, and manage ourselves and the world around us more directly, positively, and productively. Its a reminder that the way out is through, and she provides great techniques for navigating the passage.
David Allen, New York Times bestselling author of Getting Things Done
If conversations are the lifeblood of our most important relationships, this book is a transfusion of ideas and inspiration. Susan Scott has written a life-affirming primer for moving us toward the conversations we need to have most.
Douglas Stone, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Difficult Conversations
Those whose conversations with coworkers or family members arent producing the results they want will find plenty of helpful tools and assignments in this succinct guide.
Publishers Weekly
The results are... powerful, and Scotts workbook exercises will allow readers to have effective, life-changing fierce conversations of their own.
Booklist
Susan Scott is the master teacher of positive change through powerful communication.
Peter Neill, executive vice president, EdgeConneX
A rare and delightful blend of stimulating ideas and practical advice.
Sheldon Bowles, coauthor of Gung Ho! Turn On the People in Any Organization
NEW AMERICAN LIBRARY
Published by Berkley
An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC
375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014
Copyright 2002, 2004, 2017 by Fierce, Inc.
Penguin Random House supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin Random House to continue to publish books for every reader.
New American Library and the NAL colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Grateful acknowledgment is made for permission to reprint This Sane Idea from The Gift: Poems by Hafiz, translated by Daniel Ladinsky (Penguin Books). Copyright Daniel Ladinsky, 1999. Reprinted by permission of the author.
Accountability ladder drawing on page 157 copyright Senn-Delaney Leadership Consulting Group, LLC. All rights reserved.
Excerpt from Fierce Leadership: A Bold Alternative to the Worst Best Practices of Business Today by Susan Scott, copyright 2009 by Susan Scott. Used by permission of Broadway Books, an imprint of Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
The Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Scott, Susan, 1944 author.
Title: Fierce conversations: achieving success at work & in life, one conversation at a time/Susan Scott.
Description: New American library trade paperback edition. | New York: Berkley, [2017]
Identifiers: LCCN 2016047919 (print) | LCCN 2017006339 (ebook) | ISBN 9780425193372 |
ISBN 9781101163351 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Conversation. | Success.
Classification: LCC BJ2121 .S42 2017 (print) | LCC BJ2121 (ebook) | DDC 650.1/3dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016047919
Viking hardcover edition / September 2002
Berkley trade paperback edition / January 2004
New American Library trade paperback edition (revised edition) / April 2017
Cover design by Emily Osborne
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.
Version_6
This book is dedicated to the Fierce staff, who work brilliantly every day to transform the conversations central to our clients success, and to friends and family, whose conversations are simply the best.
CONTENTS
FOREWORD
by Ken Blanchard
T he notion that our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time is at once commonsensical and revolutionary. It is commonsensical because all of us have had conversations that, for better or worse, profoundly altered our professional or personal lives. It is revolutionary because a course on conversations wont be found in an MBA curriculum. Yet who among us hasnt spent time and energy cleaning up the aftermath of a significant but failed conversation? Who among us hasnt recognized, perhaps too late, that a client was frustrated or a loved one wounded because we failed to engage in the conversations that were needed? By the same token, most of us have left a successful conversation clicking our heels at the outcome, eagerly anticipating the next one.
While success is often measured by an accumulation of titles, acquisitions, and the financial bottom line, little or no attention is paid to the power of each conversation to move us toward or away from our stated business and life goals. No longer. Susan Scott set out to help us change our livesone conversation at a time.
If you dont have time to read the whole book, its a mistake. But since God didnt make junk and you are unconditionally loved, I will hold back on a One Minute Reprimand. And as a humanist, I will go one step further and give you the essence of this powerful book. Heres what it says:
Our lives succeed or fail gradually, then suddenly, one conversation at a time. While no single conversation is guaranteed to change the trajectory of a career, a business, a marriage, or a life, any single conversation can. The conversation is the relationship.
This book will help you gain the insight and skills to make every conversation count. Are you ready?
INTRODUCTION
The Idea of Fierce
When you think of a fierce conversation, think passion, integrity, authenticity, collaboration. Think cultural transformation.
Think leadership.
W hen she was seven, my niece, Margot, called to announce that she had just had an apostrophe. You know, an idea with shiny lights around it. She meant epiphany, but Ive always liked the idea of having apostrophes, and my hope is that as you read this book, you will enjoy an apostrophe, at the very least a semicolon, maybe even an exclamation point about the connection between conversations and your success and happiness, about the connection between conversations and leadership. I want you to get really good at fierce conversations, but before we go into the howthe 7 Principlesits important that you understand why.
Picture a kaleidoscope. Do you remember the first time you held one up to the light and turned it? When one piece inside the kaleidoscope shifted, the entire picture changed, and once that happened, you couldnt dial back to the picture you had before. The three ideas I want to share with you in this introduction have been like kaleidoscopic pieces that, when they shifted, changed my view of the world and of myself in the world and, therefore, what is required of me. Once my viewmy understandingshifted, it wasnt possible to return to conversations as Id known them.