Seidman - The Secret Language of Influence

Denise was a classic rags-to-riches story, having advanced from a secretarial position to become CEO of her own promotion products firm, where her professional highlight was working on a marketing campaign with basketball legend Michael Jordan. Because she had taken an unusual career path (with zero formal training in selling skills), she was meeting with me to discuss whether to implement sales coaching to further build her business.

I had two meetings with Denise to persuade her that a two-year training program would help her attain her business growth goals. The second call was to pick up the check that proved her commitment to the class. As she handed it to me I asked, Denise, whats the real reason you want to do this training? I mean, two years is a serious obligation for someone who is busy, running a successful business.

Her answer was a total surprise and still gives me chills when I replay it in my mind. She said, Dan, I want to be able to do exactly what you did with me. I dont know what you did, but I want to know how to do it. How did you influence me to say yes?

As you read through the stories and strategies contained within this book, you will come to understand that great selling is invisible.

Influence occurs at a level just below the buyers awareness. Thats important because todays buyer is savvyand too familiar with traditional selling techniques. When you begin to customize dialogues, tailoring your words to the person you are dealing with, you will discover a way to have a casual, comfortable, and customized conversation that gives both you and the buyer a unique decision-making experience.

The Secret Language of Influence was written so that you could learn how decision makers filter and process their experience in order to make a decision. This is psychologically sound information that psychologists have used for decades to help patients change their minds and their behavior.

And isnt that our job with buyers? To help them change products and services, change vendors, change their minds?

Pay close attention to your improvement in language skills as you begin to match your word choices to the exact phrases your buyers need to hear. Lets just say you are beginning to speak fluently in the buyers dialect.

How do you identify the other persons dialect? You test people. You test your buyers overtly, with specific questions. For example, you might ask, Why is having X [your product or service offering] important for you? As youll see in , depending on the answer, youll know whether your dialogue with the buyer is going to be about sharing benefits or, conversely, addressing problems.

You can also test buyers covertly, just by attending to their word choices or speed of talking. For example, imagine that a prospect says, It looks like we need to handle this matter fairly fast. I saw the data and decided to take care of it myself. You could assume that this buyer processes information visually (her word choices are looks like and saw) and that she is fairly proactive rather than reactive to a situation (note the buyers self-starter language). Identify a buyers dialect and youll also learn to pay attention to your own.