Clifford Dale James - The Big Book of Why for Parents

Copyright 2020 by Clifford Dale James III

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Mona Lin

Cover photo credit: iStockphoto

ISBN: 978-1-5107-5816-2

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-5107-5817-9

Printed in China

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the memory of my dad, Clifford Dale James, Jr. He always instilled in me the need to question Why. After all these years, Im still asking Why? and through this book, Im answering somebody elses Why questions as well.

Disclaimer

Although this book is written by a medical professional, it is not in any way meant to replace your childs actual doctor. Information in this book is meant to educate, entertain, and ease some worry, but is in no way meant to diagnose any medical condition or prescribe treatment. We do not assume any liability for medical decisions that you make on your own without the aid of a medical professional who actually cares for your child.

Acknowledgments

I would like to recognize William Nave and thank him. Trust me, you should thank him as well. My wife has often commented that I never met a comma I liked. Bill was responsible for turning my words into actual sentences that could be read and understood. He was able to take pages of run-on sentences and turn them into actual paragraphs and something that could be read by actual people. You will also occasionally see a cooking reference show up in this book. I am a terrible cook, but Bill is an amazing chef and liked to spice things up every once in a bit with a cooking reference. He was able to actually spell, punctuate, and know how to use a thesaurus, so this book could actually exist. Again, thank you Bill for helping me make this book happen.

I would also like to thank my wife, Kristi, and my children Dalton, Tyler, and Kaden. They have come up with some of their own questions and made me ask a few of my own. They have had to give up a lot having a pediatrician in the house, and Im thankful they put up with me while I do the job I love.

I would like to thank my staff: Amanda Moore, Ashley Runkles, Brittany Bishop, Kesha Dryman, Shelbie Faulkner, Melissa Maupin, Mel Sisco, and Tonya Thomas. They help me get all the stuff done on a daily basis so I have time to write this book. Thank you for making me look a lot better than I would on my own.

Finally, Id like to thank all my patients. Over the years, you have given me the joy and pleasure of answering each and every one of these questions. I am so thankful for getting the chance to answer the questions and be a part of each of your families.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Welcome to The Big Book of Why for Parents !

This book is intended to answer the questions that as a pediatrician I hear the most often that start with WHY.

You will notice that I have tried to divide up the book into some time spans within a babys first couple of years so you can jump around and reference the questions (and answers!) most easily. Nevertheless, its true that not everyone asks a particular question at the same point in time and also the fact that every baby is different and hits certain milestones at different times so they can prove authors like me wrong.

This book is by no means all-inclusive to all the WHYs you could possibly come up with; it just covers the most common.

You will notice some glaring deficiencies! We dont really cover how to diagnose anything or how to treat things. The reason is that this book cannot replace your babys pediatrician. If your baby is blue, having problems breathing, not growing, having a high fever you need to call your doctor. Dont be consulting this book or browsing the Internet to try and be the doctor. Your baby is too precious for you to wait the required 11 years to be well trained in pediatrics in order for you to trust your diagnosis skills. If you cant trust your pediatrician to help you when you are worried about your baby, then it is time to find a new pediatrician.

This book is meant to be an easy read. I have tried to make it informative, make you feel better about some of the unknowns, and even make you smile from time to time. Enjoy your time being a parent! It goes by extremely slowly in the beginning, but seems to disappear in the blink of an eye. Try to consciously slow time down and live in the now.

Enjoy each one of the WHYs that your childs life has to offer.

PART 1

BEFORE THE BABY IS BORN

A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die.

Mary Mason

Istock.com/Blue Planet Studio

Why do I need to choose a doctor before my baby is born?

Seems like a weird idea, right? I have to choose a doctor for a baby that I havent even met yet? The answer is an absolute yes for all kinds of reasons.

Lets just come out and say itnot all doctors are created equal. There are good doctors, great doctors, average doctors, and even bad doctors. You will want to find out who the good ones are before you ever have your baby.

But how do you find the good doctors? This gets a little tougher.

First, I would recommend going online and looking at how they are rated on different websites that grade physicians. Make sure that you read the reviews strategically. You generally are looking for the great ones and the terrible ones. Some of the terrible ones could be legitimate cause to pass on a practice. The glowing 5-star reviews deserve a little scrutiny too. If 10 different patients all gave a glowing review in a short time period, used similar language, and no other reviews seem to correlate well just look closely, okay? The Internet is a weird place. Be careful out there.

ISTOCK.COM /Michael Jung

Let me give you a personal example. I have a one-star review from someone I havent even met. She is an activist from California who was attacking me because my first book didnt come out against circumcision. She was going on and on about how inhumane I was and a terrible doctor. I have never done a circumcision. I have never even seen one done. I told her off and she gave me a one-star review. The website refuses to remove it so I am stuck with a review from someone who has never even met me. So, if you see a doctor who has a bunch of glowing reviews and a couple of bad ones, they are likely a good choice. Dont throw them out just because of upset, crazy people. Like I saidInternet. Weird, very weird.