Harvey O.S.F.S. Fr. John F - Homosexuality & the Catholic Church

Some time ago, at the conclusion of a reception following the conferral of the sacrament of Confirmation, a mother approached me and asked whether she could speak with me. She began by saying that, while she did not want to offend me, she disagreed with a column I had written in the archdiocesan newspaper. The column was written at the time that the citizens of Missouri were preparing to vote on a referendum to amend the state constitution to define marriage as the union of one man and one womanthat is, to ban what has become popularly known as same-sex marriage or gay marriage.

This well-spoken mother told me that she was offended because my article implied that her daughter was evil. She went on to explain that her daughter, who is in her early twenties, had graduated from a private Catholic high school with highest honors and with many awards. She has been active in a same-sex relationship for some time. With great emotion, the mother declared her love for her daughter, which, according to her way of thinking, requires acceptance and support of her daughters same-sex relationship, including welcoming her daughter and her same-sex partner into the family home.

I explained to the mother that I have never thought nor written that persons suffering from same-sex attraction are evil. I went on to summarize what I had written in the column to which she referred, namely, that same-sex attraction itself is disorderedthat is, contrary to Gods plan for us as male and female; that homosexual acts are intrinsically evil; and that persons with same-sex attraction are our brothers and sisters, whom we are to respect and love. The mother continued to insist that she loves her daughter and, therefore, will support her in her same-sex relationship.

The conversation in question reminded me of several pastoral situations in which I have found a parent struggling painfully with the homosexual activity of a child. The emotion of the situation can understandably cloud ones judgment. Whereas in the past, such emotion may have led parents to reject a child suffering with the homosexual condition or to pretend that the condition did not exist, today there is a tendency for parents to believe that tolerance requires them to accept the homosexual activity of their child and even permit it in the family home.

Given the strong public rhetoric favoring the acceptance of same-sex attraction and homosexual activity as an alternative form of human sexuality, the very presentation of the Catholic Churchs perennial teaching on the matter is considered, at best, failing in pastoral sensitivity; at worst, hateful toward persons who struggle with same-sex attraction. The theological truth is seen to be somehow antithetical to the pastoral or loving response required. For that reason, Catholic faithful, including the clergy, can become hesitant to present and clearly uphold the Churchs teaching on homosexual inclinations and activity. At the same time, the persistent public message about homosexualityin the absence of a consistent presentation of the Churchs teachingcan easily lead the Catholic faithful into confused and even erroneous thinking on the matter.

As at no other time, our society and culture needs to hear the voice of the Church, teaching the divine natural moral law, which safeguards the common good and, therefore, the good of each individual. There can be no pastorally sensitive or loving approach which is not fully informed by and consistent with the teaching of the Church. What is needed is the conviction that the truth communicated with love is the fullest expression of our love and compassion toward every brother and sister.