Jamal Jordan - Queer Love in Color

Acknowledgments

A shout-out to:

My mom and dad.When I was fifteen, you bought me my first camera, a Canon Rebel film SLR. I never understood how you afforded it. I just hope you feel like the investment paid off.

Ms. Miller.For years, you let me hide out in your classroom and use your computer to write short stories during gym class because people picked on me so much. You always told me, Let writing be a safe place for you. Decades later, this lesson sticks with me.

Father Ryan.You were one of my most influential teachers and spiritual advisors in high school. When I first met you, I was fresh to Detroit, a poor Black scholarship student, suddenly surrounded by wealthy classmates, struggling to understand who he was or how he could love himself. You were the first person I ever said the words Im gay to. I was terrified. You said to me, Youre gay? Brother! Congratulations! Youll never know how much I needed to hear that.

The Mosaic Youth Theatre of Detroit.For taking a group of ambitious young Black kids and teaching us that we can achieve anything in the world.

My editors at VICE and NBC News.Making a book is hard. Whenever I felt particularly tired or unmotivated, I thought of the times you told me I wouldnt have a future in journalism, and it motivated me to work harder. I hope you never try to stifle another persons dreams ever again.

The New York Times.Particularly to Jill Agostino, the editor who assigned the article that inspired this book. I was three months into my new job and sure I was going to fuck it up. I remember my voice cracking, when I pitched this story to you. Id never published my photography before, and you held my hand through the entire process. Having the space to tell this story changed my life. The Timeshasnt historically been a place that elevates Black or queer voices, but your support helped me feel at home there.

Ed Maxwell. For helping me see the value and potential of my ideas. For helping me to navigate an industry that is generally unwelcoming to voices like mine.

Kaitlin Ketchum, Annie Marino, Kimmy Tejasindhu, Serena Sigona, and the rest of the team at Ten Speed Press.For giving me the space to tell this story. For pushing me to finish, even as the world fell apart and everything seemed pointless. For putting up with my consistent verb tense consistency issues.

The group of strangers in Jackson, Mississippi, who took care of me when I dislocated my shoulder. You gave me your names and numbers, but one of the nurses lost them, and Ive wanted to thank you ever since. I was scared and hundreds of miles from anyone I knew, and you made me feel safe.

Aulistar, Charles, Thomas, Dart, Camille, Ryan, Tylan, Hassan, and Roger.For listening to me complain. For encouraging me when finishing this project felt impossible. For continuing to check up on me even when I disappeared for weeks at a time. For rescuing my hard drives. For giving me your feedback, copy edits, and photo critiques. For reminding me to go to the doctor, to eat. For understanding why I missed birthdays, club nights, and group trips, and for never making me feel bad about it. For making sure I always felt cared for.

To every person included in this book.For welcoming me into your homes, taking me to your favorite places, introducing me to your friends, family, and children. For being honest and open about your happiness and pain, for letting me, a stranger, witness some of the most important events in your lives. For feeding me, buying me drinks, taking me to your parties. For that time one of you convinced me to do shrooms and then gave me a speech about how life comes full circle as I rolled around in your grass.

The night before I set off to my hometown of Mobile, Alabama, to start this project, I wrote this passage for the books introduction:

Ive been thinking a lot about being a teenager and about what seeing something like this book wouldve done for me then.