Jeannie Ewing - Parenting With the Beatitudes: Eight Holy Habits for Daily Living

B lessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the land.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the clean of heart,
for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.

Matthew 5:312

Beloved, timeless, and poignant for all people in every circumstance of life, the Beatitudes have become the basis for countless homilies, books, and spiritual enrichment workshops. As children, most of us had to memorize and recite them in religion class, and as adults, they are written on our hearts. What else grants such encouragement like the Beatitudes? When we are hopeless, the Beatitudes remind us of the gift of suffering. When we are discouraged, they encourage us to persevere in the face of trials.

Theres no one-size-fits-all for parenting. Despite the plethora of parenting books on the market today, none can be universally applied to every parent and every child. Most of them are how-to books that describe techniques for improving behavior. But the one common downfall of many books on the secular market today is this: they dont address rooting out vice and fostering virtue.

We feel that the Beatitudes are a perfect framework for doing just that. They are clear and distinct from one another, yet they are also cohesive and one concept overlaps another beautifully. The Beatitudes guide both parents and children on a path to holiness, a path we believe families canand shouldtake together. They show us a way of life, not just a specific strategy. And they address the underlying cause of common frustrations in the home: fighting, selfishness, jealousy, loneliness, anger, and such.

Different Bible translations offer alternative synonyms to the word blessed in each beatitude. Some say happy are they who mourn. Others say beloved. Its likely that most of us, when we are struggling as parents, dont want to hear that we are happy when we suffer and mourn or are blessed in some way (though it is true). But to hear that we are beloved, that we are eternally loved by God? Thats something altogether consoling, isnt it?

As parents, we often face times of discouragement, trials, and suffering. When we cradle our newborns, we cant foresee the crosses of parenthood. Instead, we bask in the soothing coos, smiles, and precious tiny little feet and hands. Yet, as any parent knows, the challenges do arrive in some form or another. We encounter tantrums when our children enter the terrible twos (or threes in our case). During the school years, we deal with flippant attitudes, back-talking, and disrespect. Adolescence tries our patience and willpower in ways only parents of teens can really understand.

The drama, the crises, and the selfishnessevery parent faces these, and many more, impediments to rearing children. Nothing makes us more keenly aware of the effects of original sin than watching children grow. Our children often resist obedience or refuse to choose whats right, good, and true. Weve come to realize, especially as parents of two girls with very different special needs, that no handbook will adequately prepare any parent to raise a child perfectly.

But we can learn to change ourselves as parents. We can discern, by growing in virtue ourselves, how to train our children similarly. If theres any truth in the age-old clichs, this one rings truest of all: Our children model their behavior after our own when we demonstrate and actively teach them each virtue. And each of the Beatitudes contains within it several virtues that both we, as parents, and our children can learn to grow and live more fully every day.

As we have found in our family, the Beatitudes are the ideal place to begin if we truly wish to carry the crosses of parenthood with grace. Because men and women view the world through different lenses and tend to parent according to that worldview, we decided to co-author this book so that both moms and dads could glean some wisdom on their journey of parenthood.

Parenthood is no easy task, especially in our modern era. We battle so many of the worlds enticements: the glitz and glamor of having more stuff; the thrill of instant gratification by way of our technological devices (which also provide distractions); the interminable message from society through mass media about finding happiness by pursuing what we want and what makes us feel good; pervasive spiritual apathy, etc. There are endless examples, but the point is that, as Christians, we are called to be countercultural.

How do we do this? The Beatitudes provide very specific clues. We learn that, in our difficulties of dealing with fighting kids, outbursts of anger and jealousy, gnawing impatience, and the complexities of living in a world that promotes tolerance as its highest good, we can turn to the consolation provided in the Beatitudes. Again and again, their enduring message turns our focus to the scope of helping our spouse and children attain heaven rather than pleasing the world in which we live by trying to fit in.

Each chapter dives deeply into one of the eight Beatitudes, looking at them both in light of our growth as parents and as they relate to our childrens growth. We investigate the virtues that relate to each beatitude and suggest ways we can foster those in our daily lives. Each of these sections is followed by reflections from us, Jeannie and Ben. We then offer a simple action plan for your family, and we conclude with a short prayer.