Elizabeth Davis - Orgasmic birth : your guide to a safe, satisfying, and pleasurable birth experience

I never expected such a sensual experiencealthough I read about births like this, I did not think myself alternative enough to have one. I intellectualize things, and people told me my previous labor was probably so long and difficult because I overthought it.

But with this birth, the stronger the contractions, the more excited I felt. The orgasmic sensations during second stage were completely unexpected and took me weeks to discuss with anyone. My husband was relieved when I told himhe was shocked at how sensual the experience had been and was happy it had been so for me.

Still, I edit out the orgasmic element when telling my story, as most people are not aware of it as a possibility and would think I was completely insane!

V IRGINIA W., B ATH, E NGLAND

When I had my first child in 1972, we were at the tail end of what I now call the Dark Ages of Childbirth. Partners were not allowed into the birth room, women routinely received an enema and pubic area shave, and they were often strapped hands and feet to the delivery table so they would not contaminate the sterile field. Immediate nursing of the newborn was as rare as breastfeeding; most women were not allowed to touch their babies for many hours. Typically, women labored without support or preparation, and medications to speed labor led to the generous use of general analgesics like Demerol, which depressed both mother and baby and greatly interfered with bonding.

My first birth took place in the hospital with many of the trappings above, although this was not what I had intended. During the first few months of my pregnancy, I had searched without success for a midwife; then I met a woman pregnant with her third child who had already given birth twice at home, and she agreed to assist me. Not only that, but she invited me to be at her birtha truly glorious event that left me more excited than ever about what was in store for me. Unfortunately, I went into labor a month early, and she was out of town. At first, my husband and I considered staying home and doing it ourselves, but we were 2 hours from the hospital, with an older truck and a snowstorm coming.

Apart from the total joy and deep recognition of my son that accompanied his birth, what I remember most about the hospital was being abandoned in labor after receiving an overdose of Pitocin that left me with contractions so painfully strong that all I could do was scream, and all my husband could do was sit helplessly beside me. Contractions were back-to-back with perhaps 10 seconds in between; my entire labor was only 212 hours long, but with a rhythm and intensity that was violently unnatural. As my son began to emerge, I called for help, but I guess no one believed I could be ready because by the time they came, their best response was to tell me to hold my legs together as they tried to find the doctor.

Soon I was in the delivery room, my arms and legs strapped down, and when my son was born, oh, how I wanted to hold him! No, they said, he was cold, and they whisked him away with promises to bring him back soon. But that was not to be: I innocently accepted what I was told was minor pain relief for the deep episiotomy they had performedand I woke up 7 hours later.

I dont think I will ever overcome the guilt of leaving my son alone during his first hours. At the time, I became emotional and started to cry, and I was quickly isolated from the other mothers on the ward. There was no rooming-in for babies thenthey stayed in the nursery and were brought out every 4 hoursand I thought that if I had to wait any longer to hold my son I would lose my mind. Although I was weak from my forced labor and the pain medication and in pain from my episiotomy to the extent that I could barely walk, my husband and I left the hospital against medical advice at 17 hours and headed home to try to repair the damage.

Thank goodness for breastfeeding and the bond that it creates, which helped so much to bring my son and me back together. But my distress from my hospital trauma and the loss of my home birth dream had a severe impact on me (and my marriage)I found it difficult to recover emotionally and suffered from postpartum depression for over a year.

My experience, along with those of many other unhappy women, created the fertile field from which the natural birth movement was born. Methods of childbirth preparation were developed and refined, new appreciation for and support of breastfeeding emerged, fathers claimed their right to witness the births of their children, and, consequently, hospital policies began to change.

But my mind was made up: My next birth would definitely be at home. Two years later, this dream came true, and it was night and day to my hospital experience.

I went into labor at night, and my midwives came over. The next day dawned sunny and warm (even though it was the middle of January, lobelia still bloomed in my window box), and I was still at it. I was a bit surprised that it was taking so longwerent second births supposed to be faster? In retrospect, I think I was working through the trauma of my first experience and taking my time. My midwives were kind and discreet as I labored in my own bed with all its warmth and comfort. I meditated on my favorite pictures to help me meet the challenges of contractions, and honestly, I just felt so thankful to be where I was, giving birth as I was. My 2-year-old son came and went with the full support of friends, and my husband was with me all the way.

Labor picked up and started to hurt. I was afraid to move. But just as I began to doubt that I could do it, I discovered the secret of pleasure in labor: Surrender! And yet another surprise: With surrender, I actually felt in control! When I let go, the contractions became bearable. When I let go, I knew what to do. When I let go, I became spontaneous, rocking and groaning very much as in making love.

And when I let go as my little daughter was coming through my vagina with so much pressure, I could feel her contours exquisitely, a profound caress. I experienced waves of sensation and trembling and, as she emerged in a swoosh of release, a full-on climax, nothing less than the most magnificent orgasm I had ever known. And my husband caught her and lifted her up to me! Moments later, my darling son was in my arms right along with my daughter.

Of course I wanted to tell the world about it! But as you might imagine, I got a lot of funny looks or, worse, outright disbeliefeven from my best friends. Undaunted, I went on to study and train to be a midwife. I later wrote a text for beginning midwives and then a book on sexuality, including a chapter on the sexuality of pregnancy and birth, on which I began to lecture widely. I spoke on radio and television on the topics of midwifery, home birth, and births sexual aspects but most of the time, I omitted the O word, lest my credibility be damaged.