Lilia Tarawa - Daughter of Gloriavale: My Life in a Religious Cult

First published in 2017

Copyright Lilia Tarawa, 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. Note that the names of some people have been changed.

Allen & Unwin

Level 3, 228 Queen Street

Auckland 1010, New Zealand

Phone: (64 9) 377 3800

Email:

Web:www.allenandunwin.co.nz

83 Alexander Street

Crows Nest NSW 2065, Australia

Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand

ISBN 9781760631499

eISBN 9781760639181

Internal design by Anna Egan-Reid

Cover design: Kate Barraclough

Cover photographs: Lilia Tarawa

CONTENTS

I have written dystopian fiction, but Lilia Tarawa, the granddaughter of Hopeful Christian, has lived the reality of it. Im not the only one who finds it astonishing that an enclosed cult such as Gloriavale can survive and flourish in New Zealand in the twenty-first century, but thrive it does and thanks to the many documentaries, weve been able to see inside the cultto some extent.

The secretive nature of the community leads to speculation. Whats it really like there? Are people as happy as they appear to be? Why are those whove left turned away when they try to visit family still in Gloriavale? The documentaries tended to throw up more questions than Hopeful Christian and the Gloriavale hierarchy would permit them to answer. Probably the most-asked question has been how a convicted sexual offender can continue to lead his community. Lilia grew up believing her grandfather had been imprisoned by the evil world that was trying to destroy the church. During the course of writing her story, she discovered much she hadnt known about Hopeful Christian, the Star of God.

Its very satisfying to learn how the unusual names came about, and why people are happy to give their new babies names such as Dutiful, Meekness, Constant or Ardent. Its enlightening, too, to see how Lilia felt about the uniform she had to wear.

Why do people stay in an environment where every aspect of their lives is under the strict and rigid control of the leaders? What keeps them there? Were only too aware of the dark side of Gloriavale, but as Lilias story shows this is also a loving, supportive and fun-loving community. Its a great place to liveif you dont question the men. Here, Lilia speaks openly about the tension she suffered between what she knew in her heart to be right and what she saw happening around her.

How do people leave? How do ex-residents cope in the outside world when theyve never handled money, caught a bus or bought their own clothes? What do they now believe about God, about Hopefuls preaching?

Lilia Tarawa is a strong, intelligent and beautiful young woman whos been able to forge her own identity despite the best efforts of her grandfather to make her into a meek and submissive Godly woman who accepted his every utterance without question.

Its been a privilege to mentor Lilia as shes been writing the story of her most unusual life.

Kia kaha, Lilia.

Fleur Beale

September 2016

For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

THE BIBLE (KING JAMES VERSION), MATTHEW 10:35

There was nothing special about the mealtime to indicate it would end in chaos. As always, our community of more than 500 was sitting in our family groups at the long tables in the big dining room, chatting to each other as we ate. I was five years old, so I dont remember particular details but there was always lots of laughter and good-natured teasing between family and friends. Grandad Neville hadnt yet picked up the microphone to start preaching.

Wham! The main door was flung open, a man shouted and immediately all the adults leaped to their feet in a headlong rush for the door. Others who couldnt get through the crush turned to tear back through the dining room and get out through the kitchen.

What was happening?

Somebody tugged my sleeve. It was my almost-twin, my cousin Bethany. Whats happening, Lil? Why are people angry?

We huddled together, terrified. Why were our men throwing a blanket over my aunt Prayer and her little daughter Cherish? Why were they carrying them away?

The crush of people swept Bethany and me up in a forest of legs and long skirts until I found myself outside on the lot in front of the building, mixed up in the shouting, yelling crowd. Id lost Bethany.

What was going on? I had to find out. It was too scary not knowing. I wriggled under arms and around legs, pushing my way to the front, while the shouting raged above me.

There was a car parked in the middle of the lot. I didnt recognise it or the blond-haired man beside it. He wore strange clothes and he looked fierce and furious. He was shouting at the leaders, arguing with them. Id never heard anyone so angry ever before. A whole bunch of our men pressed in around him, and I couldnt see anything, but the shouting grew louder. Then it looked like the Gloriavale men were swarming over the man and I heard the thump when they threw him to the ground. I cowered back against somebodys legs. I didnt want to be here any longer.

Stop! I heard a woman scream. Stop it right now!

I clutched my throat in terror.

Mum! She threw herself into the fray, trying to break up the fight. Dont hurt her. Dont hurt her.

Thats enough! she screamed. This isnt right.

I was crying and so scared. Women werent allowed to shout at men. Women werent allowed to tell men what to do. But they took notice of my mother. They stepped back from the stranger. Some of them looked shocked and one or two of them seemed ashamed of themselves. I let my hands drop from my throat. Mum was so brave. Gloriavale women never set themselves against the actions of any man. I prayed she wouldnt be punished.

The blond man jumped up on his car. I slapped my hands over my ears. His voice was too loud and I couldnt shut it out. Ive come to see my daughter! Youve been hiding her here without my knowledge. Im her father and its my right to see her!

My aunt Lani came running, Bethany clinging to her. She scooped me up and hurried us away, repeating over and over, Dont worry. Its OK, youre safe, dont worry.

Lani wouldnt tell us who the man was. She said she didnt know what he was talking abouthiding his wife and daughter! What a thing to say.

Bethany and I looked at each other. It was plain Lani did know, just like it was clear the leaders had ordered the adults not to talk about the blond man or his accusations.

I learned later that he was my mothers brother Phil Cooper and hed run away from Gloriavale before I was born. Not only that, but hed abducted his children and snuck back a few weeks later to kidnap his wife.

Gloriavale told us that Phil was a wicked sinner. Hed come to Gloriavale that day determined to see his youngest daughter, Cherish. She was my younger cousin and we played together all the time. I had so many photos of her and Bethany and me.

Wed had a television crew in the community filming a documentary about us and it was them who had broken the news to Phil that he had a two-year-old daughter called Cherish. My aunt Sandy had been pregnant with Cherish when she gave up the world and her other six children to return to Gloriavale for the sake of their souls. She conspired with the church leaders to keep the pregnancy and birth a secret. Sandy called herself Prayer and gave Cherish the surname of Darling, not Cooper like her father.