Lynn G. Robbins - Love is a Choice: Making Your Marriage and Family Stronger

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Robbins, Lynn (Lynn G.), author.

Love is a choice : making your marriage and family stronger / Lynn G. Robbins.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-1-62972-086-9 (hardbound : alk. paper)

1. MarriageReligious aspectsThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2. FamiliesReligious aspectsThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I. Title.

BX8643.M36R63 2015

248.4'89332dc232015008070

Printed in Canada

Friesens, Manitoba, Canada

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

In honor of my father and mother, Grant and Evelyn Robbins, who raised their children in righteousness.

To Jan, my wife and love of my life.

And for the learning and the profit of my children (2 Nephi 4:15).

Acknowledgments

First, I am grateful to the Lord, the true author of love. I am also eternally grateful to my wife, Jan, for her willingness to read through and comment on more drafts of this book than I care to admit and for her constant love and support for the last forty years of marriage. I am also eternally grateful to my children and their spouses, not only for their feedback on the manuscript but also for their forgiveness of my shortcomings as a parent. Heartfelt thanks to my mother, Evelyn, and my sisters, who have been so willing to provide feedback. Several friends and associates have also been instrumental with many helpful suggestions.

My profound gratitude goes to Dennis Higbee, a beloved cousin, who has invested countless hours reviewing the manuscript and helping me improve and refine it.

Appreciation is clearly due and gladly given to those secretaries who have helped so much with their insights, editing, and feedbackRose Chibota, Janet Egbert, Linda Cornett, and Pam Wheelwright. Deep and heartfelt thanks to Max Molgard and Brian Garner for their expert assistance, keen insights, and valued suggestions in helping polish the book.

The publishing team at Deseret Book has been marvelous. I am grateful to Cory Maxwell for inviting and encouraging me to write this book; Lisa Roper for overseeing the project; Emily Watts for her expert counsel and editorial assistance early on; Tracy Keck for her kind and enthusiastic help in editing and preparing the manuscript for publication; Heather Ward for design; Rachael Ward for typography.

The opinions and views expressed in this publication are solely my own. They do not represent the official position of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Notwithstanding the aforementioned disclaimer, I have diligently sought the guidance of the Spirit and strived to please the Lord, with the hope that this work will have an inspiring impact on all who read Love Is a Choice: Making Your Marriage and Family Stronger.

The authors proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Temple Patron Assistance Fund of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This Church fund provides financial assistance to those who otherwise could not afford the travel expenses associated with attending a temple and participating in the sacred blessings available only in the House of the Lord.

Introduction

Its All about Families

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

As the first family, Adam and Eve became the divine archetype for all other men and women who would follow: And they twain shall be one flesh, and all this that the earth might answer the end of its creation. because it would not have answered the end of its creation. The plan of salvation is all about families.

Not Good to be Alone

From the beginning the Lord declared that it [was] not good that the man [or woman] should be alone. Having an eternal family is the only way to achieve ultimate joy.

Some are alone not by any fault or choice of their own but because the opportunity to marry has eluded them. Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities, provided they keep the covenants they have made with God. In the meantime they enjoy the association of friends and loved ones, including their ward family.

There are times when a person may want to be temporarily alone, such as in those moments set aside for prayer and meditation, but few desire to be alone long-term. It must have been frightening for Adam to contemplate the imminent separation from Eve after she partook of the forbidden fruit and would be expelled from the Garden of Eden. As hard as it may have been for Adam to say good-bye to the Garden of Eden, losing Eve would have been the real paradise lost. Mark Twain phrased it beautifully: Wherever Eve was, there was Eden.

If Adam had not chosen wisely, he would have become a lone man in a dreary Eden, with a self-imposed sentence of eternal solitary confinement, and must have remained in the same state... forever, and had no end. Could it be eternal aloneness that in great part makes hell what it is? The garden was Adams house, but Eve was his home and his companion in achieving his true purpose. Earths first love story is not only its most famous but also its most tender and inspiring. It is a story about the use of agency, love, companionship, and the making of a home.

Companionship of the Holy Ghost

Clearly neither Adam nor Eve could be without the other and still experience joy and fulfillment. In addition to the physical and emotional companionship found between husband and wife, a third kind of companionship is vital for two hearts to be knit together in everlasting love and to achieve a fullness of joy. President Henry B. Eyring taught, It is only with the companionship of the Holy Ghost that we can hope to be equally yoked in a marriage free from discord. I have seen how that companionship is crucial for felicity in a marriage. The miracle of becoming one requires the help of heaven.

Just as ultimate joy is to be together forever as loving families in an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory,

After the Savior visited the Nephites, they achieved a glorious state of unity, love, and righteousness. Of them it was said, There could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God. A couple who achieves that kind of unity and righteousness is also on the path to eternal bliss. The Atonement makes it possible to be reunited with our Heavenly Parents in our heavenly home and to be together forever with our own families, united in righteousnesshappily ever after.