Leslie Leyland Fields - Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers: Finding Freedom from Hurt and Hate

PRAISE FOR Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers

I have never seen anyone truly thrive who had not forgiven their parents, even for awful things. This is a call to very hard, but very vital, work of the soul.

DR. HENRY CLOUD
LEADERSHIP EXPERT, PSYCHOLOGIST, AND BEST-SELLING AUTHOR

At Focus on the Family we hear from many adults who are burdened by pain, bitterness, and deep emotional wounds as a result of parental abuse, neglect, or abandonment during childhood. I understand that pain because that was my own experience. Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers is essential reading for anyone who wants to deal with those hurts in a constructive, healing, and God-honoring manner.

JIM DALY
PRESIDENT, FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

Forgiving Our Mothers and Fathers is a book of couragethe courage to listen to the Bible and the stories of others who have experienced soul-wrenching forgiveness and reconciliation, the courage to confront pain and bewilderment, the courage to enter into forgiveness in a way that both wounds and heals. Leslie Leyland Fields and Jill Hubbard take us into raw, messy stories so we can be transformed by that mysterious and painful grace in the force called forgiveness.

SCOT MCKNIGHT
NORTHERN SEMINARY

I loved Jills award-winning book The Secrets Young Women Keep. Now Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers is even better! Leslies purposeful journey, together with Jills experienced insights, profoundly guides us in how to live a higher calling. If you question whether or not unresolved issues with your parents are affecting your life, this is the book for you.

STEPHEN ARTERBURN
FOUNDER AND CHAIRMAN OF NEW LIFE MINISTRIES; HOST OF CHRISTIAN RADIO TALK SHOW NEW LIFE LIVE! AND BEST-SELLING AUTHOR

In Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers, Leslie Leyland Fields and Jill Hubbard provide a gutsy, honest portrayal of the journey to honor a parent in the face of a painful legacy of neglect and abuse. Full of compassion and conviction, this book echoes the promise that one can find mercy to forgive and freedom to live, even out from under the most destructive parenting relationship. A testimony to the power of faith and the possibility of redemption, Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers offers bright hope that our most defining relationships can change through the love and mercy of God that enables us to forgive.

JAMES L. FURROW, PHD
EVELYN AND FRANK FREED PROFESSOR OF MARITAL AND FAMILY THERAPY; CHAIR, DEPARTMENT OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY, FULLER THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY

Leslie Leyland Fieldss story of forgiveness of her father, and the journey that takes her on, is nothing short of amazing and inspiring! Combined with Dr. Jill Hubbards clinical look and review at the conclusion of each chapter, this is a book for everyone. Whether its a parent, other family member, friend, work associate, church member or neighbor, we all have forgiveness issues to deal with, and this book helps you see why and how to walk through them. Its a keeper!

LARRY SONNENBURG
PRESIDENT, NEW LIFE MINISTRIES

What do we do with a mother or father who destroys a part of our soul? In Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers, Leslie Leyland Fields and Jill Hubbard offer us an extraordinarily compassionate, eminently practical, and solidly Christian answer. I highly recommend this book for anyone who craves the psychological healing and spiritual renewal that can only come through forgiveness.

PAULA HUSTON
AUTHOR OF FORGIVENESS, THE HOLY WAY, AND SIMPLIFYING THE SOUL

One of the most important development stages that allows us to become fully adult is to emotionally separate ourselves from our parents. To not face the reality of our childhoods and forgive our parents is to remain in emotional bondage, to limit the potential of our adult destiny that God has in store for us, and to remain perpetually defined and shaped by our families of origin.

Leslie Leyland Fields and Dr. Jill Hubbard have teamed up to write a compelling book that helps us understand the positive impact of facing our reality, then forgiving those who have hurt us. If you want to experience more emotional freedom and feel more like an adult, then start reading this this wonderfully written book.

MILAN & KAY YERKOVICH
COUNSELORS; AUTHORS OF HOW WE LOVE AND HOW WE LOVE OUR KIDS

This book is a great two-for-one! You read through Leslies remarkable story of forgiveness and then you are challenged by Dr. Hubbards insights and questions to bring the story home personally to each of us. Youre holding a great resource on the core issue of our faithforgiveness!

DAVID STOOP, PHD
AUTHOR, FORGIVING THE UNFORGIVABLE

2014 Leslie Fields and Dr. Jill Hubbard

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Published in Nashville Tennessee, by W Publishing, an imprint of Thomas Nelson.

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Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com.

Scriptures marked ESV are taken from THE ENGLISH STANDARD VERSION. 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.

Scriptures marked HCSB are taken from the HOLMAN CHRISTIAN STANDARD BIBLE. 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Broadman and Holman Publishers. All rights reserved.

Scriptures marked KJV are taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version (public domain).

Scriptures marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. 1996, 2004, 2007. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the NEW KING JAMES VERSION. 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Fields, Leslie Leyland, 1957

Forgiving our fathers and mothers : finding freedom from hurt and hate / Leslie Leyland Fields and Dr. Jill Hubbard.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-8499-6472-5 (trade paper)

ISBN 978-0-8499-2293-0 (eBook)

1. Forgiveness--Religious aspects--Christianity. 2. Families--Religious aspects--Christianity. I. Title.

BV4647.F55F54 2014

248.84--dc23

2013021568

Printed in the United States of America

14 15 16 17 18 19 RRD 6 5 4 3 2 1

For all those longing to be freed to forgive and for my brothers and sisters who have been an essential part of this forgiveness walk

CONTENTS

In the desert

I saw a creature, naked, bestial,

Who, squatting upon the ground,

Held his heart in his hands,

And ate of it.

I said: Is it good, friend?

It is bitter-bitter, he answered;

But I like it

Because it is bitter,

And because it is my heart.

STEPHEN CRANE