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Alex Cohen - Down and Derby: The Insiders Guide to Roller Derby

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Part manifesto, part how-to-guide . . . required reading for anyone whos searching for new ways to be fearless. Carrie Brownstein
When most Americans hear the words roller derby today, they think of the kitschy sport once popular on weekend television during the seventies and eighties. Originally an endurance competition where skaters traveled the equivalent of a trip between Los Angeles and New York, roller derby gradually evolved into a violent contact sport often involving fake fighting, and a kitschy weekend-television staple during the seventies and eighties. But in recent decades its come back strong, with more than 17,000 skaters in more than four hundred leagues around the world, and countless die-hard fans. Down and Derby will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about the sport. Written by veteran skaters as both a history and a how-to, its a brassy celebration of every aspect of the sport, from its origins in the late 1800s, to the rules of a modern bout, to the science of picking an alias, to the many ways you can get involved off skates.
Informative, entertaining, and executed with the same tough, sassy, DIY attitudeleavened with plenty of humorthat the sport is known for, Down and Derby is a great read for both skaters and spectators.

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Table of Contents
Guide
Table of Contents Jennifer Barbee writes for Blood et Thunder Magazine and - photo 1
Table of Contents Jennifer Barbee writes for Blood et Thunder Magazine and - photo 2
Table of Contents

Jennifer Barbee writes for Blood et Thunder Magazine and is a longtime staffer of the Writers Guild of America. Alex Cohen is the host of All Things Considered on KPCC in Los Angeles and a frequent contributor to National Public Radio. As Kasey Bomber and Axles of Evil, respectively, they have skated with the L.A. Derby Dolls since 2003. They both live in Los Angeles.
For the LA Derby Dolls Class of 2003 INTRODUCTION LETS ROLL It is July - photo 3
For the L.A. Derby Dolls Class of 2003
INTRODUCTION LETS ROLL
It is July 2009 We step off our respective planes and lug our gear into the - photo 4
It is July 2009. We step off our respective planes and lug our gear into the sweltering Vegas sun. Our taxis creep through downtown tourist traffic, swing around the airport, and unceremoniously drop us off in a giant, industrial-looking parking lot.
The Las Vegas Sports Center sulks unimpressively in the heat, but under the sounds of arriving planes, theres also a low hum and periodic whistles. Inside, the air is cooler and smells vaguely of... what is that smell? Sweat? Feet? Happiness? And when our eyes adjust to the light, we see skaters from every corner of the worldtheir helmets whiz by in every direction looking as if they are floating on air. On their feet are skatesblack skates, white skates, blue skates, camouflage skatespropelled by a rainbow of wheels.
On the sport floor, coaches with names like Carmen Getsome and Miss Fortune are drilling a centipede line of skaters in the fine art of knocking each others asses to the ground. Refs and skaters gear up for the mixed league, multination, battle du jour: Team Australia vs. Team Canada. Someone hobbles by with an ice pack strapped to her knee, still smiling. We smile too.
Across town, nearly one thousand other skaters throng the casino and head to seminars in the meeting halls of the Imperial Palace Hotel, with nothing but roller derby on their minds.
This is the fifth annual derby convention known as RollerCon. And, boy, have things changed in five years. We remember RollerCons inaugural year all too well. Back in that sweltering summer of 2005, there were just a few dozen leagues in existence, and all of them were here in the U.S. At the time, we spent most of the weekend meeting like-minded skaters, congratulating ourselves for finding the sport, and drinking cocktails in the pool. One of the most official events of the weekend was one the two of us organized: the utterly non-athletic Derby Wedding.
And who are we? Back in 2003, we were just Jenny Barbee and Alex Cohen, and we were both looking for something that was missing. Jenny was fresh off a disastrous dating debacle, and knew she needed a hobby to save her from a steady diet of Coronas and reality television. She found the L.A. Derby Dolls through her journalist friend Chris Nichols, and became Kasey Bomber.
Alex was a radio reporter who first heard about derby when a friend joined the then-burgeoning league in Texas. She spent a week hanging with rollergirls in Austin and then hankered to do derby herself when she returned to California. She saw one of the Derby Dolls recruitment flyers at a local art gallery and, soon after, went to her first practice. Her ride, quite fortuitously, was Kasey Bomber. After one practice, Alex was officially hooked on the sport and became Axles of Evil.
And since then, not a week has gone by that we havent worn our skates. Its filled us with great pride to watch and participate in this sport that has now grown to more than five hundred leagues in fifteen nations.
We can only imagine how much roller derby will evolve over the next five years, let alone the next five decades. And so we decided to take stock of this amazing sports history and, hopefully, to help spread its gospel to those who have yet to come across it.
We by no means claim to have all the answers when it comes to derby. But weve been around a long time and have had the amazing honor of talking with many of the folks responsible for making it what it is today in all its many forms.
If theres one thing weve discovered in writing this book, its that there is something universal about derbybe it banked track in Oklahoma or flat track in London. Skaters, derby girls, rollergirls, whatever you want to call us... come in all shapes and sizes, but our love for the sport is identical.
Watching roller derby today, you see the results of a rigorous training regimen and countless hours devoted to a labor of love. The end product before the ticket holder is hard hits and heroic athleticism, fun outfits, and clever names. But whats underneath are the girls who walked into their first practice, wide-eyed, nervous, and looking for something they had either lost or never had.
No matter how different one skater may look from anotherhow divided by race, socioeconomic status, age, or historythey share one thing in common: they are seekers. Its hunger that brings girls to this sport. Hunger for more... everything. And its hunger that makes the game so damn exciting.
We sought, we worked, and we found. And like any good cult propagandists, wed like to show you how you can, too.

LA DERBY DOLLS VENUE, THE DOLL FACTORY
Whats It All A Bout Its a saturda y night in a neighborhood just west - photo 5
Whats It All A... Bout?
Its a saturda y night in a neighborhood just west of downtown L.A. known as Historic Filipinotown or Hi-Fi. Nearly two thousand fans have traveled to a fifty-five-thousand-square-foot warehouse that once cranked out ice-cream conesa place affectionately dubbed The Doll Factory. This is the home of the Los Angeles Derby Dollsthe citys all-girl, banked track, quad skate roller derby league.
Outside in the parking lot, gals in a red, yellow, and blue Hot Dog on a Stick truck sell corn dogs and lemonade. A local pizza parlor dishes out slices as a ska/punk band plays on a makeshift stage underneath a canopy of tall palm trees.
Among this crowd is just about every type of person you could hope to meet in Southern California. Heavily tattooed biker boys and hipster girls with bright blue hair mingle with grandmas in wheelchairs and young high-powered Hollywood types. There are die-hard muscle-bound sports fans and folks so un-athletically inclined theyd likely guess Yogi Berra was a cartoon character.
Stepping inside The Doll Factory is almost like that first color frame in The Wizard of Ozwhere Dorothy finds herself transported to a marvelous world of Technicolor fantasy Derby Dolls are everywhereworking the door, selling merch, wandering through the bleachers with raffle tickets. True to their name, many of these women are dolled upin team uniforms or other costumes, in bustiers and hot pants, in wigs or face paint. There is no shortage of fishnet stockings.
As a DJ plays thumping electro-punk in the background, vendors hawk necklaces made out of old soda caps, paintings of pin-up girls with skulls for faces, and t-shirts that read IM NOT GAY, BUT MY DERBY WIFE is. Bartenders do brisk sales out of rolling coolers filled with tall cans of Tecate beer, all bathed in the pink light of a four-foot-tall roller skate made of neon that hangs on the wall.
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