Celine Uwineza - Untamed: Beyond Freedom
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- Book:Untamed: Beyond Freedom
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- Publisher:Celine Uwineza
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- Year:2019
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For ten-year-old Celine Uwineza, the 7th of April, 1994 was supposed to start out like any other day. By nightfall, the horrors of the Genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda had begun, claiming the lives of her family and one million others who were brutally massacred to death.
Celine miraculously survived.
Severely traumatized, she spent months on end being shunted from one refugee camp to another, eventually being rescued and reunited with the surviving members of her family. Although the emotional and psychological scars of the brutality she witnessed and experienced tore her apart on the inside, Celine, with her untamed spirit, was determined to rise above her circumstances and use her God-given talents to help rebuild her country.
Now a successful entrepreneur and advocate for human development, this deeply-personal and heart-wrenching book chronicles Celines journey of coming face-to-face with her traumatic past, healing from almost two decades of suppressed emotional and psychological wounds, to becoming the inspirational leader she is today.
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First published by Celine Uwineza, 2019
Copyright 2019 by Celine Uwineza
ISBN 978-99977--0-091-9
Edited by Gael Tunga Rutembesa and Phillipa Mitchell
Cover design and typesetting by Gregg Davies
(www.greggdavies.com)
Creative direction by Inkstain and Envision Rwanda
All rights reserved
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law. Additional copies of this book can be purchased from all good online bookstores worldwide.
To my maternal grandparents, Ruvuzumutego Leonidas and
Joyce Kankindi stoned to death.
To my paternal grandfather, Eustache Kajuga
shot to death by multiple bullets.
To my Uncle Huss Mugwaneza and his wife Annie Mugwaneza,
shot dead in their home.
To my mother, Norah Mukeshimana, my sister Kayitesi Claudette,
my sister Francine Ingabire, and my brother Claude Murengezi,
hacked and burned to death.
To my family whose bodies were never found:
My Uncle Maharangari, his wife Flora, and their five childrenGilbert, Norbert, Mugeni, Liliose, and Clarisseshot dead one after the other.
My Aunt Franoise, her husband Kayumba and their three children
Lise, Dimitri, and Manzi pursued and killed in the hills as
they ran for their lives.
My Aunt Antoinette Kamisheke, her husband Kurujyishuri Joel, and their seven children, Victoire-Aimee Umuhoza, Clementine Girumuhoza, Felix Ntitetereza, Ferdinand Mwizerwa, Christine Uwase, Clement Ndayishimiye and Yvette Uwizeye, whose last moments remain unknown.
To the one million soulsespecially each of the children killed during the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi
This memoir is dedicated to you. I honor your lives cut short. Your lives matters. Your memories are alive now and forever more.
Sunk in existential suffering and utter unworthiness, the human quest for meaning and significance is unending.
As a little girl, Celine Uwineza had to face the unspeakable worst. As a young woman, her life story merged with that of a great angelic soul, Anne Heyman-Merrin of blessed memory. Anne established a model youth village for orphans from the Genocide Against the Tutsi in Rwanda, based on the Jewish People's experience of tragedy - and renewal. It is at Agahozo-Shalom Youth Village where Celine opened her heart, and truly dedicated herself to healing the suffering of others, that the Lord restored her trust in mankind.
Celine exemplifies the restoration of the human spirit from brokenness to wholeness. Her life, marked by transformational healing, also echoes the greater healing process of her motherland, Rwanda, emanating a message that the world today must hear. Through her story, we are reassured that the mending of a broken human heart - Tikkun HaLev in Hebrew - is not only achievable, but is in fact the core of one's divine life mission.
"Lord, when I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor". Psalm 8
Dr. Chaim Peri
Founder, The Village Way Institute
Yemin Orde, Mt. Carmel, Israel
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
Maya Angelou.
During the Genocide against the Tutsi in Rwanda in 1994, we were hunted to death. By the time it was over, my mother, my three siblings, my grandparents and more than thirty other members of my extended family had been brutally murdered. At ten years old, I became a refugee in my own country, walking and running for miles on end amidst crowds of terrified, unfamiliar faces.
I grew up battling anger and desperation, grappling with questions I could not answer. The killers were our neighbors, classmates, and colleagues. They were nephews, sons, daughters, and grandchildren. I had so many questions: Were they born killers? If not, how were they taught to kill in such a short time? Why had evil and hatred triumphed to such an extent? Why did my family have to die? Why had I survived? I was not the only one fighting this battleall Rwandans were striving to rebuild themselves and our country.
One day, the inner battle that had been boiling inside me erupted. I would be woken by recurring nightmares of my grandparents being stoned to death, visions of my family being brutally murdered flashing through my mind. The time had come for me to face my traumatic past head on, and allow my ten-year-old self to grieve and be set free. I realized that Rwandas transformation had to begin with me, so I resolved to play my part in this quest for a bright future. I embarked upon a journey of healing to deal with the trauma that was preventing me from soaring to my full potential and living a full life. Through expert help, I committed to moving from a satisfactory existence to one of excellence, using my God-given talents.
Our stories matter. They have the potential to inspire others to share their stories, and impact their communities in return. I chose to write this book to heal from my wounds, to give a voice to my family, to defy the Genocide denials, and to highlight the importance of memory preservation as a tool to fight against Genocide ideology and violence. The book is also an opportunity to recognize Rwandans journey of healing, resilience, and courage. Most of all, I wrote this book so that I would never forget my story. I hope that it will reach and inspire many to share their own stories of courage, and that it will be counted among other Rwandan and African transformational stories.
My vision is to see the youth of today and tomorrow equipped with the skills to take a stand against violence, with zero tolerance to discrimination, poverty, and mediocrity. My prayer is to see them positively impact Africa and the world.
My name is Celine Uwinezaan African child, a Rwandan daughter born and raised in the land of a thousand dreams, stories, and hills.
Trauma generates emotions, and unless we process these emotions at the time the trauma occurs, they become stuck in our mind and body. Instead of healing from the wounding event, the trauma stays in our body as energy in our unconscious, affecting our life until we uncover it and process it out. The healthy flow and processing of distressing emotions, such as anger, sadness, shame, and fear, is essential to healing from childhood trauma as an adult. Psychology Today. (Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult_ Andrea Brandt, Ph.D)
October 25, 2015
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