Caitlin Brodnick - Dangerous Boobies: Breaking Up with My Time-Bomb Breasts

It takes a special kind of person to turn a double mastectomy into comedy, and Caitlin Brodnick is just that kind of person: a hilariously upbeat woman who happens to have been diagnosed with the BRCA gene, a diagnosis she was determined to beat.

Cindi Leive, editor in chief of Glamour magazine

Caitlin Brodnick is fabulous. Shes a survivor. And I believe she thrives in part because of her humor, warmth, and generosity of spirit. Shes a funny, smart writer and shell teach you, make you laugh, and maybe make you cry. For a minute. And then youll laugh again.

Sara Benincasa, author of Real Artists Have Day Jobs and Agorafabulous!

Caitlin is smart and funny and THE person to bring a fresh, needed voice to a heavy, scary, and ubiquitous topic. She is the Breast Cancer Comedy Ambassador. This book is important.

Ilana Glazer, comedian and co-creator of Comedy Centrals Broad City

Caitlin and her voice are a breath of fresh air in the cynical, snarky world we can sometimes live in. Im constantly astounded by her ability to turn lifes more difficult experiences into hilarious and inspiring reflections that make you want to live more in the moment.

Abbi Jacobson, comedian, author, and co-creator of Comedy Centrals Broad City

A refreshingly hilarious, laugh-out-loud, bestie been-there-done-that road map for surviving the precarious journey cancer inevitably throws at you.

Emme, model, fashion icon, public speaker, and author of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Curvy & Confident

Caitlin Brodnick is a fearlessly hilarious storyteller who can find humor in the darkest scenarios. I cant wait for the masses to be exposed to her talent and wit.

Margot Leitman, author of Gawky and Long Story Short

Caitlin Brodnick is a charming storyteller, an exceptional writer, andmost importanta survivor. Surgery stories have never been so much fun!

Selena Coppock, author of The New Rules for Blondes

Every woman I have ever known has a complicated relationship with her boobs. I wouldnt call it a love/hate relationship; its more of a hmm/ugh/what?/yeah baby!/eh relationship.

The women I know with smaller boobs are insecure about their size but are also grateful that modern fashion is made for their body type. The women I know with larger boobs are insecure about their size but are also grateful that vintage fashion is made for their body type. Women with boobs of all sizes deal with hormone-related pain, unwanted attention from men on the street, cleavage sweat pimples, breast-milk leakage, and more. Trans women deal with these problems plus the fact that many wont develop naturally fully developed breasts; trans men must shed their boobs to realize their gender identities. Even cis-gender men worry about having man boobs or, in rare cases, male breast cancer (yes, it happens).

Though I sometimes long for the kindergarten days when I could run around shirtless on a hot day, I am, for the most part, grateful for my boobs. Even as five-year-old me ran topless through a sprinkler, I daydreamed about someday having massive boobs. When I drew pictures of myself as an adult, I would draw a big cleavage line. Alone in my room at night, I would stuff some stress balls down my nightgown and coo, Hello, boyyyyyyyyyyys.

Now that the universe* bestowed upon me the boobs of my dreams (*universe = Ashkenazi genes), they have become a big part of my identity. My breast development coincided with my popularity skyrocketing; whether they gave me more confidence or happened to appear when I became more confident is a mystery I never intend to solve. Having been boy crazy from a young age, I was delighted when the boys I pined for finally started to notice me, with my boobs drawing their eyes to my more important but subtler features, such as my smile and personality.

As I got older and gained weight/went on birth control, my boobs grew from a modest B to a Why do I look skanky even in a T-shirt? DD. Sometimes, theyre big in a cartoonish way that doesnt feel like theyre a part of my body. So, when I became a comedian, I had a choice: be objectified against my will or take charge of my image and show them off with an ironic brazenness. Think Jessica Rabbit sitting on the toilet during a shit attack. Its a mix of pride and apology, as if to say, I know I look like this, but DONT JERK OFF TO ME.

So, despite my own hmm/ugh/what?/yeah baby!/eh relationship with my breasts, I rarely think about the fact that, as Caitlin says, they could kill me. I got tested for the BRCA gene in the post-Jolie wave and was relieved to find that I was in the clear. But I realize how lucky I am, as this is not the case for an overwhelming number of women, especially those of Ashkenazi Jewish descent.

Every womans experience with her boobs is specific and personal. As you read Caitlins book, I hope that you reevaluate and appreciate your relationship with not just your boobs, but your body as a whole.