Shavonne J. Moore-Lobban - The Black Womans Guide to Overcoming Domestic Violence: Tools to Move Beyond Trauma, Reclaim Freedom, and Create the Life You Deserve

A marginalized group speaking truththat violence done to it by the larger culture turns into violence within (to women in intimate partnerships)requires courageous breaking of silence. I stand in awe of these authors willingness to break silence, calling out the social pathologies of racism, misogyny, and white supremacy, and their effects on African American women. This volume should be in the library of every therapist and every shelter for women seeking refuge from such violence.

Laura S. Brown, PhD, ABPP , past president of the Society for the Psychology of Women and the American Psychological Association Division of Trauma Psychology, and clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Washington

Written by and for Black women, The Black Womans Guide to Overcoming Domestic Violence offers a united journey to radical healing and liberation from domestic violence. In sharing the knowledge they have as licensed psychologists in easy-to-understand ways, Shavonne J. Moore-Lobban and Robyn L. Gobin create a loving space where Black women can understand themselves and their experiences while carving a path toward greater joy, hope, and happiness.

Jennifer M. Gmez, PhD , assistant professor at Boston University, board member at the Center for Institutional Courage, and creator of cultural betrayal trauma theory

Finally, a book that unapologetically speaks to Black women survivors of domestic violence. Shavonne J. Moore-Lobban and Robyn L. Gobin are expert psychologists and researchers committed to Black womens health. They have crafted a perfect blend of educational information on domestic violence and practical, data-informed activities to assist Black women on their healing journey. The authors start with the premise that all Black women deserve to live joy-filled lives. The book is filled with concrete and accessible culturally informed strategies Black women survivors of domestic violence can use to recognize their personal power, reclaim control, and practice self-care. Look no further. Your healing journey starts here.

Helen A. Neville , professor of educational psychology and African American studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

Moore-Lobban and Gobin have skillfully opened the door to discussing domestic violence in the Black community. They clearly understand the sensitivity of this topic, and with care have centered the experience of the Black woman, humanized her, and, without judgment, given her tools to heal. Black women around the world will be sharing this groundbreaking book with the women in their circlesI know I will!

Charmain F. Jackman, PhD , psychologist, speaker, consultant, and founder/CEO of InnoPsych Inc.a tech company focused on disrupting inequities in mental health

As a clinician and a Black woman, I truly appreciated this book. It was refreshing to read a book that acknowledges the unique struggles we Black women face with intimate partner violence. The journal prompts and reflections help us self-reflect on our experiences and move us toward wholeness. I will keep this book in my arsenal as a desk referencefor my clients, clergy, and myself.

Jennifer Shepard Payne, PhD, LCSW , research scientist and clinician at Kennedy Krieger Center for Child and Family Traumatic Stress, and assistant professor at Johns Hopkins University

Thank you! Moore-Lobban and Gobin have written a visionary, smart, and practical healing guide that centers the experiences of Black women. They aptly celebrate the strength, power, and resilience of Black women, while at the same time naming the intersecting oppressions that make them more vulnerable to domestic violence. This critical resource provides a road map for Black women as they transform themselves from survivor to thriver.

Stephanie Brown , CEO of Casa Myrna Vazquez, a Boston-area domestic violence organization working to ensure every relationship is safe and healthy

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

New Harbinger Publications is an employee-owned company.

Lucille Clifton, wont you celebrate with me from The Book of Light . Copyright 1993 by Lucille Clifton. Reprinted with the permission of The Permissions Company, LLC on behalf of Copper Canyon Press, coppercanyonpress.org.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2022 by Shavonne J. Moore-Lobban and Robyn L. Gobin

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Daniel; Acquired by Georgia Kolias; Edited by Teja Watson

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Moore-Lobban, Shavonne J., author. | Gobin, Robyn L., author.

Title: The Black womans guide to overcoming domestic violence : tools to move beyond trauma, reclaim freedom, and create the life you deserve / Shavonne J. Moore-Lobban, PhD, Robyn L. Gobin, PhD.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2022] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021062160 | ISBN 9781684039340 (trade paperback)

Subjects: LCSH: Intimate partner violence. | Family violence. | Women, Black--Violence against. | Women, Black--Abuse of. | BISAC: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Abuse / Domestic Partner Abuse | SELF-HELP / Abuse

Classification: LCC HV6626 .M669 2022 | DDC 362.82/92082--dc23/eng/20220126

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021062160

To our husbands, who support our dreams and encourage us to achieve them.

To our family, who have always grounded us in and surrounded us with love.

For the beautiful Black women of the world, who are survivors in every regard:

We honor your strength, courage, wisdom, and vulnerability.

Contents

Foreword

Who will sing an upbeat song for Black women?

We will sing it for ourselves and the world will marvel at how long we hold our notes.

Thema Bryant, PhD

In a world in which we as Black women are bombarded with downbeats, stereotypes, stigma, exclusion, and violations, we have the capacity to not only heal but to write a new, upbeat song with our lives. While domestic violence has many effects, it does not have the final say on who you are and who you can be. Whether the abuse you experienced was psychological, physical, economic, sexual, spiritual, or all of the above, I hope a part of you will start to believe you deserve so much better.

Welcome to your new chapter, your new beginning. I am overjoyed that as a survivor (or the supporter of a survivor) you picked up this book. You made it despite the put-downs, mistreatment, disrespect, and disappointment. This book, written by two brilliant and compassionate Black women healers and scholars, provides a road map to reclaiming and rebuilding your life. Abusive relationships often take so much from you, including self-confidence, mental health, physical health, and time. As you work toward your restoration, I want you to know that the most important component you will reclaim is yourself. For some of you who experienced early trauma, this may mean claiming yourself for the first time.