Kristin Van Marter Souers - Relationship, Responsibility, and Regulation: Trauma-Invested Practices for Fostering Resilient Learners

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I want to dedicate this book to my mom. Thank you for beingsuch a positive influence in my life. Your intelligence, strength, loyalty, and tenacity have taught me so much. I love you so very much.
Kristin Van Marter Souers

This book is for all our fellow travelers. Wherever you are inthe journey, may you safely and confidently step forward.
Pete Hall

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This is my favorite part of the book because it is my chance to say thank you! I remain humbled and overwhelmed by the responses Pete and I have received since the publication of Fostering Resilient Learners. I am grateful every day for the work you do on behalf of children and families. You are needed more than ever to provide children with a safe and predictable environment, and you are truly making a difference. (That said, make sure to take care of yourself, too!)

I also want to thank Genny and Miriam at ASCD for their amazing partnership and faith in us to write this second book. They are true joys to work with, and I feel so lucky to have them. I am also grateful to Donald for listening to our vision for the book cover and designing yet another great visual. His talents are incredible!

A special thanks to my partner in writing and presenting, Pete Hall. I never imagined our work together would lead to this, and I am grateful every day that it did. Thank you for pushing me to be my best person. Your humor and positive attitude are so inspiring! Thank you, my friendthank you!

I also want to thank the many people out there who have taken the risk to be vulnerable in this work. I am so grateful for your courage and your willingness to deeply explore trauma-invested work. I feel so blessed to have worked with so many of you and humbled by your honesty and your stories. Thank you for your courage and your commitment. The world is a better place because of you!

I feel lucky to have so many valuable people in my life. I am surrounded by such support. For this book, I want to give a special shout-out to the strong women in my life. Thank you to all of you for your amazing work and love. I am better because of you!

I want to especially acknowledge my mom, Molly; my sister, Stephanie; and my daughter, Katlynn. These women are truly talented, amazing, and incredible people. I can't imagine my life without them, and I am grateful for them every day. They have shown me the power of strength and courage. Throughout all the hardships and challenges they have experienced, they have managed to stay true to themselves and not waver. Their perseverance is so admirable. They also taught me to have hope again. During one of my tougher times, my sister gave me a sign with a powerful message. That sign still sits in my dining room as a friendly reminder for me to trust. These amazing women gave me permission to believe in myself and to commit to doing what I am passionate about without fearto just take that leap, and to feel love again.

This is my wish for you, my brave readers: to remember to have hope and not let fear drive your bus. In these times, we need to remember to be kind to one another and to believe in the goodness of humans. We need to remember to trust. In the words of my amazing sister's message to me: "Not to spoil the ending, but everything is going to be OK."

Peace,
Kristin

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I write books because educators have asked me to. Pete encouraged me to write my first book, Fostering Resilient Learners, and I am so grateful that it resonated with so many people. In that book, my goal was to highlight approaches for the adult in creating a trauma-sensitive learning environment that were accessible and worth the time invested. Time is valuable, and there's never enough of it. Whenever I train and consult, I want attendees to walk away saying, "Now that was a good use of my time!" When you're finished with the last paragraph in the last chapter of this book, I hope you say the same thing. I also want you to walk away feeling challenged, energized, and equipped with ideas for how best to support yourself, your team, and your students and families.

I am blessed to have been able to write both my books near the ocean. Water is my happy place. I love to be able to write, walk, think, write, run, challenge myself, and write again. I always come away from these experiences mindful of where I have let my own work-life balance go and appreciative of the many blessings I have in life. I think we can all benefit from giving ourselves more time to reflectto feel gratitude and appreciation, to give ourselves and others more grace, and to contemplate how we can influence the world in more positive ways. I want us to remember to be kind. Life is hard and messy, and we could all use a little more kindness in our world. So please remember to treat yourself and others with kindness. A smile or a high-five can go a long way! I truly hope you enjoy this book. Thank you for sharing your time with me.

Kristin Van Marter Souers, Spokane, Washington, January 2018

I've been a professional educator for more than 20 years, 14 of which I spent as a school administrator and the last 4 as a professional development agent working with schools and districts across the globean incredible vantage point from which to see the education opera play out in its totality. From age 5 (and younger) to age 18 (and beyond), we run our students through a gauntlet and expect them to become competent, educated, responsible, thoughtful citizens when they're done. In case y'all haven't noticed, it doesn't always work out that way.

One of the primary culprits? Stuff. Stuff happens. As educators and as professionals in the caregiving fields, it's our responsibility to reduce the impact that stuff has on our kids. We can't stop the not-OK from happening, Kristin tells us, but we can mitigate its negative effects. And we can most definitely create an environment that is safe, predictable, and consistent so our young people can be OK with their not-OK.

Another factor impeding our success rate? Ourselves. It may make us uncomfortable to admit this, but we often act in ways that run contrary to our stated goals. We enact rigid policies that ignore the uniqueness of every child and every circumstance, we create procedures that are unrealistic and driven by politics and fear rather than by students' needs and high-quality research, and we implement practices that result in frustration and burnout at both the educator and educatee levels.

We can do better.

In partnering with Kristin a decade ago, I realized what a tremendous message she shares. The mindsets she espouses aren't revolutionary, but they can have revolutionary effects. The strategies she's collected are tried and true. I've personally seen them work in two schools where I was principal, when I brought in Kristin to work with the staff and school community. I witnessed the transformation and growth along the trauma-savvy spectrum (which you'll read more about in Chapter 1). I've felt the shifts. And I've seen the results.

Partnering with Kristin to write Fostering Resilient Learners was an easy decision. If we can expand the audience and distribute her message to educators nationwideheck, worldwidelet's do it. Through our two books, and through presentations and workshops and consulting support at the national, state, and local levels, we are living that mission.