Barbara Delinsky - Uplift: Secrets from the Sisterhood of Breast Cancer Survivors

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UPLIFT
Secrets from the Sisterhood

The morning I awoke from surgery, I knew no one who had ever had breast cancer. But by mid-morning, friends whod had it began coming out of the woodwork! I was amazed. And appalled that no one had told me that women could actually live!

Jane Vaughan; diagnosed in 1 991 at age 53; writer; Texas

Think positive. Chemo is something they do for you, not to you. You are the aggressor. When you really feel lousy, you know that the weapon is doing a good job of attacking the enemy.

Patricia Baker; diagnosed in 1993 at age 49; Massachusetts

When you go for radiation, take a zip-lock bag with a moist washcloth and a shaker of pure cornstarch. Use them on your underarms in the changing room after treatment.

Rayna Ragonetti; diagnosed in 1 993 at age 52; executive; New York

One Friday, in the midst of radiation, my husband kidnapped me and took me to a hotel for a romantic weekend away. It helped me to remember that I am a woman who is loved.

Nancie Watson; diagnosed in 1995 at age 50; social worker; Pennsylvania

I would have loved to talk with someone before I had treatment. The worst part was my imagination. But its a lot like pregnancy; its livable.

Joy West; diagnosed in 2000 at age 34; advertising; South Carolina

The author of this book is not a physician, and the ideas, procedures, and suggestions in this book are not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of a trained health professional. All matters regarding your health require medical supervision. Consult your physician before adopting the suggestions in this book, as well as about any condition that may require diagnosis or medical attention. The author and publisher disclaim any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of the book.

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Copyright 2001, 2006, 2011 by Barbara Delinsky Charitable Foundation for Breast Cancer Research

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First Atria Paperback edition September 2011

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Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Delinsky, Barbara.
Uplift: secrets from the sisterhood of breast cancer survivors / Barbara Delinsky.3rd ed.
p. cm.
Originally published: New York : Washington Square Press, 2001.
1. BreastCancerPopular works. I. Title.
RC280.B8D415 2011
616.99449dc23

2011023697

ISBN 978-0-7434-3136-1
ISBN 978-1-4516-5467-7 (pbk)
ISBN 978-0-7434-4005-9 (ebook)

I am no bra-burner. Im far too private a person for that. Ive always been content working behind the scenes for the causes in which I believe. As a writer Ive had the luxury of letting my characters do my bidding, whether that meant advocating safe sex, or open-minded-ness, or the beauty of small-town life. Ive been known to switch hairdressers when one takes to gushing on ad nauseam about my books, and I refuse to shop in bookstores where the booksellers hover so that I cant browse like a normal, everyday person. Because I am a normal, everyday person. And I like my anonymity.

For that reason, UPLIFT is an aberration for me. But if ever a cause was near and dear to my heartand therefore worth the risk of putting my private self out therebreast cancer is it.

Breast cancer has been a player in my life since 1950, give or take. I cant tell you for sure, because my mothers hospital records dont go back far enough. When my sisters and I petitioned for a copy of them several years ago, the earliest ones we received were from 1951. That year, we were ages 8, 6 (me), and 5. According to what weve since learned from the occasional relative or friend, our mother was diagnosed two or three years before that.

We were 10, 8, and 7 when she died, but it wasnt until we were in our late teens that we learned shed had breast cancer. It took my dad that long to say the word cancer, let alone breast. Things were different back in the forties and fifties, and it wasnt just my father. One of the early submitters to UPLIFT, Elinor Farber, a New Yorker who experienced breast cancer through her mother, had a similar experience.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer forty-five years ago. Since there were no mammograms at that time, she was diagnosed with the help of a fluoroscope machine. She had a radical mastectomy, followed by a series of X-ray treatments. There was no radiation treatment available back then. I was in seventh grade at the time. My sister, three years older than me, and I were both told of my mothers condition in hushed tones, and we were sworn to secrecy. I remember the panic and confusion that I felt. My mother, God bless her, lived for more than thirty years after her surgery, but she never spoke of her condition. She endured everything without the support of friends and neighbors, who were not told. I am so happy that breast cancer is no longer kept a dark secret. There is so much support now for women like my mother. Indeed, there is. UPLIFT is a prime example of that. How did the book come to be? It was a total no-brainer that, as a novelist firmly ensconced in fiction, I simply didnt think to writeuntil the day last summer when I received one more note about Katherine Evans. Katherine is a character in one of my novels, Coast Road. She is the best friend of Rachel, the heroine, who is hurt in an automobile accident and lies in a coma through much of the book. Katherine is the one who notifies Rachels ex-husband about the accident, and who tells Jack what Rachels life has been like in the years since they divorced. Katherine also happens to be a breast cancer survivor, though the reader doesnt learn this until midway through the book, well after Katherine has been established as a woman who is vibrant and active, smart, attractive, and successful. At that midway point, we realize that she is grappling with the sexual ramifications of having had a bilateral mastectomy.