Pierre Bennu - Bullsh*t or Fertilizer: A Portable Pep Talk

done especially for you by the friendly folks at exittheapple productions.

Text and drawings by pierre bennu.

Edited and laid out lovely by jamyla bennu.

Special thanks to mirlande jean-gilles for inspiring page 57!

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED TO

my wife,

for existing on this earth
at the same time as me;

my mom,

for showing me how
to live with or without;

my superhero friends,
for constantly inspiring me;

my student loan;

and you,

for caring enough about yourselfto
save the world.

CONTENTS

AUTHORS NOTE

Im writing this book because Im tired of having this conversation.

Its a compilation of ideas, advice, and collected wisdom gathered from dozens of e-mails, phone calls, and discussions Ive had over the last two years.

It is a self-help book. To me, that means, You gotta help ya damn self. I can point you to the library but I cant do your research for you. I present you with my truth because its been helpful to me and to a lot of my friends, but I can make no guarantees.

You can see it as bullshit or fertilizer.

But Pete, Why Is It so Little?

I never understood why books dont just get to the damn point. I remember being in college and reading fifteen pages of text to highlight two lines. Id be like, Why didnt they just say that?

This book is not for stupid people.

In other words, Im not gonna spell out everything.

Highlight this whole book. Because it wont be long, and itll be right to the point. As a matter of fact, heres the first point, free:

You can do anything!

THE LEAP:
Learning to Fly

We are surrounded by dreams. Everything you seefrom the street to the cars on it, from the ice cream to the cone you eat it from, from the shoes on your feet to the way you wear your hairsomeone invented that; it was once somebodys dream.

It always begins with dreams.

Remember that!

It is going to be coming up a lot in this book.

It = Whatever you do. Your craft. Your work.

Living in New York City can put a lot of things into perspective. Whether you want to be a singer, writer, actor, or whatever, there are thousands of people who want what you want, too. And theyve come from all over the world to get it. So the question is never really how much talent you have, its more about how bad do you want it? What are you willing to risk?

You are what you DO.

If you have no product relating to your art (no chapbook, no Web site, no portfolio, no demo tape, no reel, no painting, etc.) then you do not exist in this reality as that thing. For instance, if you work as a secretary and wish you had time to sing, then you are a secretary. You are not a singer. A lot of us do what we dont like for money and call it work and feel uncomfortable getting money to do what we love. It does not have to be this way.

You can live off your craft.

People do it all the time.

A lot of artists I know with children speak about how the birth of their child made them serious about their work.

Why wait?

Take your work as seriously as you would take a new life.

People put faith in the stupidest things.

Heres an example. What if I said this:

Hey, reader, lets go into a hundred-year-old tunnel thirty feet under a centuries-old city to ride an electric train beneath a river and thousands of tons of concrete and steel buildings?

Your likely answer would be hell, no ! But millions of people ride the New York City subways every day without a thought, and we actually think that were getting a deal! It doesnt occur to us to doubt; were just thinking about our destination.

We choose our fears.

If youre scared about It, its because you choose to be.

Dear Reader:

You are a divine being sent to Earth to save the world. First you must realize that you are the bomb. Your mission is to help the rest of the world figure it out. But before you can do that, you have to claim it for yourself.

Open doors.

Its futile to look at the present state of the arts and say Theres less soul/integrity/etc. in art these days. I used to get upset when my favorite artists would change their look, style, or sound to fit with what was hot when it clearly wasnt them. Then it came to me: When someone you admire starts to suck, you should see it as an open door. They suck so you can shine. Theres a void and theyre giving you room to enter.

Divorce yourself from outcome.

If you get caught up thinking about whether youre better than someone else or if the world is or isnt ready for what you have to offer, your work will never get done. So what if a few people laugh at your cape and boots? Youre SuperWo/Man.

There are a lot of people who have the audacity to be untalented or ignorant or unimaginative out loud and in public. We need to be the superheroes we know we are in public, too. The world is falling apart and we choose to play Clark Kent: sitting at a desk with a cape on underneath our work clothes. You are here to create balance. All you have to be is youout loud.

My suggestion: Buy a Superman T-shirt. Rock it.

If you dont like your job,

quit.

That means:

Trust your work enough to hire yourself.

A moment of courage can mean a lifetime of joy.

Its hard work... but its work youre doing for you.

But BEFORE YOU QUIT...

You must be at least as organized as the place you work. In fact, you will have to be more disciplined to get your own ball rolling. Have a net before you leap. Make a plan. (See page 67.)

SPEAK IT 2 YOU

Language as a Tool

Words are a tool with which you speak your reality. If you say you are ugly, or lazy, or pitiful... then thats what you are. If you say you are magical and blessed and successful...

Here are some exercises and definitions to help you reshape the way you speak.

Who do you like? Who do you admire? Speak their name constantly, instead. Speak of the good that people do. Did you know Dikembe Mutombo gave $3 million to start a hospital in the Congo? Thats some shit! Talk about that.

Be your own fan.

Wake up in the morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and say something affirming like, Im the bomb.

Because you are.