Carole Golder - Love Lives--Using Astrology to Build the Perfect Relationship with Any Star Sign

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Contents

Introduction

Introduction

Dedication

Id like to dedicate this book to a Scorpio Mark Antrobus; to thank Jayne Cooper of Canon for the use of the great Typestar 90 typewriter; and also to thank Judy, Gill, Tina, Michael and Rita, Gerald, Ingrid, Mark Hayles, Mike and Alice, and all the other wonderful people in my life, from Aries to Pisces, who have always proved beyond any doubt that having good relationships is what life is all about!

Introduction

When I wrote The Seductive Art of Astrology the idea was to show how astrology could make a dream lover become a reality. But long-term reality involves something more than dreams for in a serious relationship compatability plays a major part.

It is not simply a question of the compatibility between certain signs being greater than with others. Its that by learning more about our own strengths and weaknesses, and those of the people we choose to be part of our lives, we can make all our relationships work on a higher level. It is possible to achieve a good relationship with anyone, not simply on an emotional level but where family ties, work situations and friendships are also involved.

We all have within us different aspects of the various signs, depending on our own specific horoscopes. To get the right sense of yourself, you will have to respond to what rings true for you and accept other effects such as hereditary influences as also playing an important part in your personality.

One of the greatest values of a relationship can be in the process of self-discovery. By relating to another person we start to learn so much more about ourselves our needs, desires and innermost feelings and that can be very exciting too. But people involved in any kind of relationship should be totally honest.

Needless to say, honesty can have both positive and negative connotations. If youre a Sagittarian you can be so brutally honest with your thoughts and assessments that you can hurt someone deeply. Honesty is something which has to be used carefully, which is perhaps why people are often afraid of it, because of its constructive and its destructive powers. Without honesty, however, even the most perfect sounding relationship is sure to contain certain flaws, so its importance can never be understated.

Self-discovery must also never be minimized. And that doesnt mean gazing at ones image in the mirror or staring at ones navel, totally wrapped up in oneself to the exclusion of everyone else. It means just the opposite to learn more about oneself within the structure of society as a whole and in each relationship in particular. Its important to learn to love oneself more too for if we dont love ourselves how can we truly expect another person to love us?

Relating to other people begins when you are very young. But if you had a difficult childhood, with parents who found it hard to communicate with themselves, let alone with you, it can be very difficult to imagine being on a perfect wavelength with other people. Yet that cannot be used solely as an excuse. Of course there are situations in peoples childhoods which are impossible to forget. But it can be almost too easy to blame ones own difficulty in sustaining well-balanced relationships on what has gone on before.

You dont have to believe that you cannot sustain a positive relationship just because of your past. But learning more about your own past can be extremely helpful; learning more about your parents too. After all, it isnt only astrological make-up which makes you what you are, but your heredity, too.

I am not telling you to change your own personality to fit in with someone elses, but I am suggesting that it can sometimes be very beneficial to modify certain characteristics when you know that they are creating something negative. The components of your personality can be heightened or dulled magnified or shrunk by deciding to change because something depends upon it perhaps keeping that potentially perfect partner by your side! But you should never try and contort yourself into an impossible psychological shape simply in order to become something else for someone. Never forget, To thine own self be true!

The trouble is, that we dont always know who we are and what were capable of; with one person we may feel like an insignificant nonentity, while with another person, who loves us, we may shine like the sun.

That is one of the most wonderful things about being in a perfect relationship; and I dont just mean a love one. Being with someone who cares for you and respects you has an extremely powerful effect. How many times have you woken up and looked at yourself in the mirror, not really liking what you saw? The outside world seemed grey and gloomy, you felt ill at ease with yourself and everyone else; then, suddenly, you received a compliment from someone you respected or loved, and you started to see everything in a totally different light? Giving compliments is therefore equally important.

Putting out negative vibes really can create negativity in your life. If you believe that the perfect relationship will forever be elusive to you, it can easily happen that way.

There are other possible dangers to face in a love relationship: the danger of becoming too deeply involved too fast with someone who is not right, and the danger of not giving your heart to the right person and losing them because of your own indecision. It is not only Librans who suffer from being indecisive! Many people faced with having to decide whether to make a relationship permanent suffer similar pangs of will it work or wont it?.

Therefore its important to recall that it can be better to be alone than to have made the wrong decision; and usually a right and perfect partner will know that you are right too, making non-coercive gestures to attract you.

If you have doubts in any kind of relationship, always express them; when you feel you have something very special and unique, express that too. Always remember that words are among the most powerful keys to success in love and in life, if they are used well. And this has nothing to do with cleverness, for plenty of people know how to be clever and fast-talking, full of snappy comebacks, but are dumbfounded when it comes to sincerity and seriousness of feeling. To be serious does not mean you have to be dark and gloomy; it means only that you have to be absolutely straight with yourself and your partner and, indeed, everyone else you relate to.

In a perfect relationship there ought not to be any necessity to prove something to your partner, like spending a great deal of money which you dont have, or dressing in a certain way, which deep down you know does not feel right to you.

Its important for people to care for each other for his or her own sake, and not just for what they can get in the way of power. Many strong and lasting relationships are built within a circuit of friends and shared interests.

In a love relationship, problems often arise because of one or both partners attitude to sexuality. No one will think youre perverted for wanting to know more about your partners body; but you cant always ask them questions about what he or she likes, for that can destroy the mystery and enchantment, and besides, you should like each other physically well enough to begin with, or like each other spiritually, which itself is sexuality; for sexuality can also be called the spirit expressing itself on the physical plane. If you turn sex into something dirty you are only reacting to the controls of superstition, and fear of the body, and the powerful forces of sexuality. To make fun of it is ridiculous. But to find greater pleasure in sex does not mean that you should discover this or that technique (sorry, Scorpio!). No one likes to feel theyre being made love to by the rule book; and certainly complete innocence isnt always the best guide.