Nancy Birtwhistle - Clean & Green: 101 Hints and Tips for a More Eco-Friendly Home

For my grandchildren

101 Hints and Tips for a More Eco-Friendly Home

FOREWORD BY EMMA MITCHELL

First published 2021 by One Boat

This electronic edition first published 2021 by One Boat

an imprint of Pan Macmillan

The Smithson, 6 Briset Street, London EC1M 5NR

Associated companies throughout the world

www.panmacmillan.com

ISBN 978-1-5290-4973-2

Copyright Nancy Birtwhistle 2021

Foreword copyright Emma Mitchell 2021

Cover design and illustration: Mel Four, One Boat Art Dept

The right of Nancy Birtwhistle to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damage.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Illustrations by Mel Four

This book contains the opinions and ideas of the author. It is intended to provide helpful general information on the subjects that it addresses. Before following any instructions outlined in this book, it is suggested that the reader undertakes a patch test to ensure suitability and follows any relevant manufacturer or supplier guidelines. The publisher and author disclaim all responsibility for damage, loss or injury of any kind resulting from tips or instructions contained in this book. Handle materials with care. For use under responsible adult supervision only. All necessary precautions should be taken.

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Its the summer of 2014 and a trailer appears on the TV that lifts my spirits like a kite. Theres a particular programme that has worked its way into my yearly calendar and which I look forward to gleefully, almost feverishly. It provides escapism, gentle triumphs, human endeavour, tragedy without lasting anguish, the silliest puns to have ever been conjured and... cake. When The Great British Bake Off began, many thought it charming but, by this, its fifth season, it has become a much-loved staple in the late summer television schedule and commands audiences of millions. For a large proportion of the viewing public, Bake Off has become a beacon of happiness.

There, among the line-up of new 2014 contestants, is a woman with a bun of silver-blonde hair, an array of home-made bespoke baking tools, an irreverent attitude to the male judge and a significant eye twinkle. This person has a humbling ability to conjure delicious yet beautiful bakes. Her tarts are astonishingly neat, she slices her miniature sponges with a tiny guillotine that the Sylvanian family Marie Antoinette would flee from, and she impresses the judges week after week. Nancy Birtwhistle bakes her way to the final and, of course, on that significant day her diminutive afternoon tea components are perfection and Mary and Paul agree: she becomes the series winner.

I next encounter Nancy several years later, on social media, when her beautiful cakes appear in my feed. To my delight, she follows me back and we exchange tweets and Instagram comments now and then. The limitless energy, creativity and ingenuity that charmed those huge audiences and won her the much-coveted trophy, emanates from my phone screen. I marvel once more at Nancys astonishing ability to create both beautiful edible designs and delicious, homely bakes from sugar, flour, eggs and fondant. Then, as her Instagram following builds, she begins to share more than just baked wonders. As 2019 begins, Nancys tips for removing stains, cleaning a clogged iron and avoiding plastic waste start to appear among the pies and puddings. The sort of no-nonsense cleaning advice that for the most part fell out of fashion two generations ago, becomes a staple of Nancys Instagram videos and stories. She shows off her sparkling sinks, bright white laundry and shiny oven shelves. Her wealth of knowledge is astonishing and I envy her gleaming surfaces.

Theres a compelling and timely theme uniting all the household tips that Nancy shares. Each is designed to minimize waste, harsh chemical pollutants, single plastic use or adverse impact on wildlife. Nancy begins to give her followers recipes for home-made kitchen surface and floor cleaners, washing powder mixes, fabric conditioners and scouring concoctions. The environmentally friendly credentials and simplicity of each of her methods is compelling, as is the cleanliness of the drawers in her washing machine. Apparently, her home-made washing powder has made washing machine drawer gunge (Im not sure there is a dedicated noun for this unpleasant greyish substance) a thing of the past. I eye my horribly gungey drawers with no small amount of shame and resolve to follow this sage advice.

Nancys knowledge doesnt stop at replacements for big brand cleaning products full of pollutants though, she also has a hint of the hedge witch about her. In one of her wonderful instafilms she places her grimy oven shelves with baked-on spills in a patch of dewy grass overnight. Some manner of mysterious lawn magic takes place while Nancy sleeps and in the morning her metal racks are gleaming and completely free of stains. Im agog. What IS this magical process? Is she the mistress of a band of lawn pixies? Im fascinated. Next, she gathers ivy leaves, snips them into tiny shards and places them in her washing machine with badly stained white shirts. The grass-cleaning was one thing, but surely this coarse, leafy confetti cant have any effect on fibres ingrained with soil. Im wrong, of course. Ivy, it turns out, contains saponin, a natural foaming detergent that can enhance the effect of Nancys home-made washing mix on her husbands polo shirts. I studied botany, Im a biologist, yet I have never heard of this and I reel. The result is remarkable: with some simple reagents and a few chopped ivy leaves shes achieved a white as bright as Tess Dalys gnashers. The stains are nowhere. Nancys knowledge of natural ways to clean is wondrous.

Just this morning, as her daily Instagram stories appeared reassuringly in my feed, Nancys knowledge comes to my rescue. I have a slow-emptying bathroom sink and have no idea how to fix it. Like a sooth-saying enchantress with a bucket full of bicarb, Nancy solves this very problem and, feeling slightly spooked as though she can peep through my telephone screen, I follow her instructions, water flows freely once again and I swear I can almost hear bathroom angels (and Nancy of course) singing a watery chorus. What a woman.