Gail Gazelle - Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers

Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers

Gail Gazelle, MD, FACP

Copyright

Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers

Copyright 2013 by Gail Gazelle, MD, FACP

Cover art, special contents, and electronic edition 2013 by RosettaBooks LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

Authors Note:
This publication is not intended as a substitute for the advice of health care professionals.

Cover jacket design by Carly Schnur

ISBN ePub edition: 9780795334986

This book is dedicated to my dearest aunt, Dee Dee, a woman of tremendous talent and fortitude, whose feisty, independent personality led to tremendous growth for her primary caregivers during her journey with Alzheimers disease.

Table of Contents

Gail Gazelle, MD, is a hospice physician and Assistant Clinical Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Gail Gazelle has devoted much of her 25-year medical career to healing the healers, and she does so by integrating her medical knowledge with her passion for personal growth and life healing. As a life coach for physicians who come to her overwhelmed by the demands of todays health care environment, Dr. Gazelle helps physicians reclaim their career purpose and achieve greater life fulfillment.

Dr. Gazelle has also worked with thousands of people affected by Alzheimers. She views caregivers as wounded healers and understands the challenges they face, particularly since she is no stranger to the pain caused by this terrible disease. Through her extensive medical expertise, personal insights, and compassionate approach, Dr. Gazelle has provided these devoted caregivers with the guidance, validation, and comfort necessary to overcome the burdens they shoulder. With Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers she hopes to do the same for countless more caregivers who wish to help loved ones who can no longer help themselves.

My thanks go to Julie Silver for believing in the strength of this book. Deepest thanks go to Mary Kalamaras, an editor whose enthusiasm, commitment, expertise, and wisdom have led to the success of many projects. I also wish to thank my son, Daavi Gazelle, for patiently bearing with a mother with too many career passions for one lifetime, and for being the best possible reminder that the present moment is, indeed, the moment to dwell in. Thanks also to L. G., whose resilience allowed me to heal and move forward from great tragedy to wholeness, and to A.C., an ever-present guide on the journey.

If youre reading this book, its because you know someone who has Alzheimers disease or another form of dementia. As a physician who has devoted my life to the care of seriously ill people and as a former Alzheimers caregiver, I know firsthand the cruelty of this disease. Insidious and unrelenting, it throws so much of how we look at life into question, including what defines us as human beings, whats most important in life, the meaning of love, and much more.

Being involved with Alzheimers can be frightening and challenging as you helplessly watch someone you love suffer from the vicious indignity of gradually losing all that made them who they were. The experience is unlike anything else youve gone through and, at times, you might feel as if youre losing your mind. Youre in the midst of a terrible plight that is, unfortunately, often unimaginable to others who have not walked in your shoes. And with everyones focus on the person with Alzheimers, youre expected to put your life on hold. Yet your life continues to unfold, along with all of its own demands and challenges.

In addition to the physical, financial, and logistical problems you may be facing right now, comes the emotional obstacle course you must traverse. As you survey your circumstances, you may be aware of a tendency to feel guilty or judge yourself harshly. Struggling against a backdrop of isolation, the typical lack of validation for thoughts and feelings that arise, the fatigue and unpredictability of day-to-day caregiving, and the stressors in your own personal life, you may find yourself thinking that you could be doing more or doing a better job. Regardless of how hard you toil, there is a natural tendency to find yourself wanting. Unfortunately, this focus on the negative can prevent you from tapping into your strengths or being fully aware of your basic goodness and abilities, not to mention all that youre indeed accomplishing. It can also blind you to other, more positive perspectives.

I wrote Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers because throughout my 25 years as a physician Ive been drawn to wounded healers and have devoted myself to helping heal them. Its what I also do in my role as a Positive Psychology coach for physicians, guiding them toward greater fulfillment in their lives, which, in turn, makes them better healers. You, the caregiver, whether living near or afar, are also a healer, and its important that youre as healthy as possiblephysically and emotionally. Not only so that you can provide good-quality care for your loved one, but to also ensure that you live through this experience in a way that preserves your own well-being and the well-being of other people in your life. Based on my insights as both a physician and a life coach, the collection of affirmations, tips, and exercises in this book will provide you with the structure, guidance, and support to accomplish these two critical goals.

Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers will shine a light on your life and help you understand that all the emotions, thoughts, and reactions youre experiencingwithout exceptionare normal. Through effective coaching and Positive Psychology techniques, youll learn that youre fine just as you are and that theres nothing wrong with what youre thinking or feeling. Youll gain the skills you need to intercept, question, and dispel negative internal and external messages, shift your focus back to your strengths and accomplishments, and increase your comfort with the range of emotions youll encounter. Youll also be open to new perspectives and possibilities, where you might once have felt stuck.

In addition, Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers will show you how to apply the powerful tool of mindfulness toward managing your life. We spend so much time doing things that most of us dont know how to simply be. By stopping to pay full attention to and appreciate the moment youre experiencing right nowthe only moment you can truly be sure ofyou can be more present during challenging times. Putting thoughts and concerns about the past and future aside, you will find yourself more resourceful and more calm. You will find that the circumstances, no matter how challenging, are actually more manageable than you imagined.

Above all to remember is that with Alzheimers disease theres so much you cant control. The tools in this book help you see that the one thing you have control over is your own mind and reactions. You have more choices than you realize, and you can learn how to adjust the lens through which you look at yourself, your life, and the world around you. Although your circumstances might not change, your ability to control your experience of them can. By becoming more discerning about your internal thoughts and feelings, you will view others and, of equal importance, yourself, with more compassion.

Mindfulness Support for Alzheimers Caregivers