Atka Reid - Goodbye Sarajevo: A True Story of Courage, Love and Survival

There are many people to whom we owe our heartfelt gratitude. Wed especially like to thank the following:

Rosie Reid for being an integral part of this project. Without her dedication, passion and hitherto unknown editing skills, this book would not be what it is.

William and Sam, for their support, understanding and enthusiasm.

Our parents, brothers and sisters; we greatly appreciate their courage in revisiting memory lane, as well as their valuable individual insights and contributions.

For their encouragement and individual input Selma and Janna, Merima, Mirza and Haris, Charlotte Curtis, Gill Clark, Anna Rogers, Jim Espie, Janine di Giovanni, Andrea Louisson, Linda and James Schofield, Kate Owens, John Burns, Dubravka Rovicanac, David Hall, Nevena Sijercic, Amela Vukotic, Ash Hill, Fiona McLeod and the Staff at Christchurch Public Library.

Our many friends and wider family, whose continued interest in the book and its progress gave us the motivation and confidence to tell the story. We feel privileged and fortunate to have such an incredible group of people in our lives.

David Godwin, our agent and his very capable assistant Charlotte Knight.

Alexandra Pringle, Alexa von Hirschberg, Anna Simpson and the wonderful team at Bloomsbury, its been a pleasure and a privilege to work with them.

All the people whose random acts of kindness helped us during the war in Bosnia and the refugee life in Croatia. Wed like to express our thanks to Samra and Ako Bitevija, Sabrina Hajdarpasic, Aida Kelic, Hamo Zubcevic, Mira and Elvir Hadziselimovic, Christopher Long, Mladena Mihanovic, Cvitar Family, Nada Levi, Ciro Blazevic, Kenan Mazlami, Lovorka and Milan from Rijeka, Imre i Vera from Belgrade, Damir Medvesek, Philip and Sandi Morgaman, Ariane Quentier, Gary Knight, Susan Sontag, David Rieff, Emanuele Scorcelletti, David Crary, Xavier Gautier, Aida Cerkez-Robinson, Filip Horvat, Maglic Family, Sahinovic Family, Klaudija Ancic, the staff at the Marina Lucica Hotel in Primosten and the staff and friends from Ante Starcevic School in Zagreb.

For their kindness and generosity, and for enabling us to start a new life in New Zealand, wed like to express special thanks to Rosie and Bill Reid and their sons; such kindness and generosity is seldom found, well forever be thankful to them. Our gratitude also goes to Charles and Carolyn Reid, Richard Reid, Andrea and Doig Smith, Audrey and Karl Burtscher, Joanna and Noel Todd, Helena Malfroy-Todd, Pedro Carazo and DArcy Waldegrave.

And lastly, our profound thanks to Andrew and James for their unconditional love and unshakeable belief in us.

Hana

It was a warm summer evening and I was lying down reading a book. From underneath the open bedroom window, I could hear Nadia and Danica talking quietly. Nadia had stopped working and was at home most of the time now. I laid the book on my chest and listened to them.

I dont know how to thank you, I heard Nadia say.

Dont worry. The main thing is that you and your baby will have a safe place to stay.

It sounded as though Danicas friend had found a place for Nadia and her baby at a house run by Catholic nuns. They provided accommodation and food for women refugees and young girls in situations similar to Nadias.

Theyll take you at the end of July, Danica said.

Why so soon? Nadia asked. The baby isnt due until September.

Theyll want you to settle in in plenty of time. I dont know all the details but I think you can stay there for a month or two after the babys born. My friend will talk to you about it.

She invited Nadia to come upstairs and moments later their footsteps echoed down the passage. I ran to the bathroom and turned on the tap, not sure whether I was supposed to have overheard their conversation or not. But later Nadia told me about it as we sat at the table in the kitchen. Although she could manage at the girls flat with the baby, she thought that being with other mothers and babies would be a valuable help to her. It would also take some of the pressure off Lela who was the only one supporting them.

How is Lela? I asked.

Shes been working crazy hours and is looking after me so well. I dont know what Id do without her.

Yes, shes never behind in the rent, Danica said with approval.

I wished I could do something to contribute but the only way I could help was by being a good student so that Lela wouldnt have to worry about me as well.

Come and feel this. Nadia took my hand and placed it on her stomach, which was the size of a large, inflated balloon.

I can feel a little kick, I said, intrigued, and kept my hand pressed against her, waiting for the baby to move again.

I think Im having a basketball player! Nadia joked.

What about the babys father? What did he say when you told him? I asked.

Nadia lowered her eyes and Danica looked at me, shaking her head. I bit my lip and for a few seconds stared at the clock on the wall. It was ticking loudly.

Not much, Nadia said finally, without lifting her eyes from the table. Lets just say, Ill be better off without him.

You have us anyway, I said, nudging her with my elbow, but I felt so sorry for her.

Exactly! Danica agreed, as she reached for the sugar and a mixing bowl from one of the cupboards.

It was obvious that Nadia didnt feel like talking about it and, not wanting to upset her, I turned to Danica and asked what sort of cake she was making.

Its my roulade. Can you separate a couple of eggs for me?

Oh, I love your roulade, Nadia said, but I have a real craving for cherry cake. Nadias eyes widened. Remember, Hana? The one that Mayka used to bake for us?

Of course I do. The last time wed been at Maykas, she had given us a slice of her cherry cake with a glass of homemade rosewater cordial. Its so sad, we didnt even have a chance to say goodbye to her, I said, wondering when we were going to see her again.

If Id known that we were going away for such a long time, Id never have boarded that bus, Nadia said with conviction, folding a table napkin over and over. Soon, she stood up, saying she was tired and hot and went to the girls house to lie down.

After wed made the roulade, I sat on my bed, thinking how kind and understanding Danica had been with Nadia. It was strange because she was always very strict with Andrea and me. Even the message that Atka had passed on from Mum and Dad surprised me. Id expected harsh words and scorn from everyone but they didnt seem in the least bit angry.

At the start of the summer holidays, Andreas grandmother went to the countryside to see her cousins and Andrea went to Germany to visit family friends. I was invited to go with her but because Germany had already taken in tens of thousands of refugees from my country, its visa requirements for Bosnians were very strict. Besides, the only documents we had were our refugee cards and we needed more than that in order to travel.

The day after Andrea left, I went to the market with Danica to help her with the shopping. The rows of market stalls were piled high with heaps of fresh fruit and vegetables. Vendors shouted to the shoppers, inviting them to their stalls. Danica and I pushed our way through the crowd, carrying our bags. She headed for the tomato stall but I was stopped by a woman selling strawberries.

Try this, she said, giving me one. Theyre the sweetest strawberries youll find.

I tasted it. Oh, its delicious, I said as I took a bite.

Tell your mother to come and buy some, the woman urged.

The word mother struck me and I felt my face going red. I wanted to tell her that Danica wasnt my mother. My mother was in Sarajevo. But I was too embarrassed to say anything. Instead, I ran off looking for Danica. She was at one of the stands haggling over the price of some potatoes. We continued shopping and I didnt mention anything about the strawberries or what the woman had said.