Jean Shinoda Bolen - The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and the World: The Essential Guide to Womens Circles

Other Books by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.

The Tao of Psychology

Goddesses in Everywoman

Gods in Everyman

Ring of Power

Crossing to Avalon

Close to the Bone

First published in 2003 by Conari Press,

an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

With offices at:

500 Third Street, Suite 230

San Francisco, CA 94107

www.redwheelweiser.com

Copyright 1999 by Jean Shinoda Bolen, m.d.

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC.

Reviewers may quote brief passages.

Cover illustration by Kathleen Edwards

Cover photo PhotoDisc

Cover and book design by Claudia Smelser

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Bolen, Jean Shinoda.

The millionth circle : how to change ourselves and the world : the essential guide to women's circles / Jean Shinoda Bolen.

p. cm.

isbn: 1-57324-176-8

1. WomenPsychology. 2. WomenSocial networks. I. Title.

hq1206.b55 1999

305.4dc21

99-23769

cip

Printed in the United States of America

MV

10 9 8 7 6 5 4

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of the American National Standard for Information SciencesPerrmanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials z39.48-1992 (R1997).

in the circles where we face ourselves,
we listen like a miracle,
and I reclaim the song which is mine.

Janice Mirikitani, Where Bodies Are Buried

THIS IS AN unusually short book for what it proposes, which is nothing short of changing the world and bringing humanity into a post-patriarchal era. It is written for women, who will be the ones to do it, if it is to be done. Though interested men are certainly welcome to read it.

The Millionth Circle was written to inspire women to form women's circles that have a center, and for women whose current participation in them will now be seen in this larger context. It is my contribution to accelerating a process and a movement that has already begun. It depends upon a simple hypothesis, whose mechanism has been proposed and observed, and is one that can be intuitively and immediately grasped: When a critical number of people change how they think and behave, the culture does also, and a new era begins.

Once the principles are understood, the significance of women's circles can be appreciated as a revolutionaryevolutionary movement that is hidden in plain sight. It appears to be just women getting together and talking, but each woman and each circle is contributing to something grander.

The Millionth Circle intruded itself on me while I was writing another book. I was working on the manuscript of Goddesses in Older Women, about the archetypes in women over fiftyone of which is not a goddess at all, but the archetype of the circlewhen I wrote four pages of double-spaced thought, which was a complete and whole visionary statement. It felt as if its purpose was not to become several pages in a thick book, but rather that it go out into the world by itself, as an idea whose time has come. Within days, this perception was validated. Isabel Allende had asked me for ideas for a keynote lecture, and I faxed those four pages to her. When she quoted from them, the audience of 2,000 interrupted the talk with spontaneous applause.

Then came the effect of using the centering feature instead of standard margins on my computer and, as a result, wrote a How to that drew images and words from the right side of my brain. I favored poetic rather than pedantic words, and then realized that the part of the reader's psyche that I wanted to engage speaks this language.

The perspective and insights in these chapters grew directly out of my own experience as a member of women's circles, going back to 1985. I've learned the most from two of these circles in particular. The circle that suffered a failure of trust and was abruptly dissolved taught me a great deal, maybe as much as the ongoing prayer/ meditation circle that I've been in for fourteen years. The second source of experience about circles came from leading women's wisdom workshops. Every workshop I led was centered around meeting together in a large circle; each woman participant also was in a leaderless small group. A third contributing experience, for contrast, was as a member of boards and committees. From this, I could see how different and almost mutually exclusive each form is: one fosters the psyche, trust, and authenticity, the other facilitates productivity, the effective use of power, and persona.

During these years of being either a member or a leader of women's circles, I thought about circles and how they worked. The Jungian analyst-psychiatrist in me saw both psychological depth and growth, and how circles got in trouble and what kept them trustworthy. The part of me that appreciates how beauty and truth are linked saw how ritual and ceremony tapped into the imagination and were a medium for creativity and spirituality.

Those of you who have been in women's consciousness-raising groups or women's support groups may find that The Millionth Circle touches a place in your heart as you recall your group and remember the circumstances. I think you will also find that the How to chapters will be a reminder of what you know from that time. You have wisdom from this experience to bring to any new circle.

My focus is on the meaning of women's circles and their formation and maintenance because women as a gender have a natural talent for them. The circle is an archetypal form that feels familiar to the psyches of most women. It's personal and egalitarian. When the circle is taken into the workplace or community by womenoften modified to be acceptable and unthreatening to men, who usually don't find this a natural form for themit enhances collaborative undertakings and brings people who work together emotionally closer and in a less hierarchical relationship to one another.

Women whose previous experience with women's groups has left a bitter taste may need to revisit that old experience, with the perspectives here as a guide, before venturing into a new women's circle. The chapters on A Circle Needs to Be Safe and A Circle in Trouble may be especially helpful, and offer guiding principles for healthy circles, as well.

I hope that you will read , which have the appearance of poems, as if they were, and that you will muse about what I have to say. Then your own insights and intuition will be evoked, amplifying their meaning. Poetry uses metaphors and analogies, draws from the symbolic level of the psyche, and is the language of the soul. Poetic imagery is also compressed information. Less can lead to more, if my words draw out what you and a circle of women together have as collective wisdom.

From what I have heard and observed, I believe that many women yearn to belong to a women's circle. If you are inspired to form a circle or deepen one, then this little book will be a boon to you, and to the circle that is formed or influenced by you. You will also be contributing to an evolutionary change in human culturebecause your circle will be one more circle on the way toward the millionth circle.

There is nothing as powerful as an idea whose time has come