Catey Hill - The 30-Minute Money Plan for Moms: How to Maximize Your Family Budget in Minimal Time

F ellow mamas, if youre anything like me, motherhood thus far has been a series of surprisesmost of them incredible and life-changing, but some of them (ahem, the cost!) not so much. Like your bod, which hasnt exactly bounced back, despite gulping down a revolting series of overpriced green juices for three straight days and completing (well, okay, trying) a series of $20-a-pop spin classes. Seriously, if you wanted someone to yell at you, youd just call your mom, whod gladly do it for free. Or the fact that you havent looked at your Visa bill in weeks, thanks to a late-night Zulily shopping spree. Admittedly, that wasnt the best idea while on unpaid maternity leave. And then there was that ill-advised go at organic cloth diapers (oh the places poop goesespecially when it isnt tightly contained by Pampers) that ended up breaking your washing machine. Your new perfumea pungent mix of baby vomit, mashed carrots, and tops you didnt have time to take to the dry cleanersmeans youre not exactly getting free coffee from that cute barista anytime soon. Oh, and the best part: Most of the time, youre too exhausted, and busy, to do anything about your ill-advised spending, let alone figure out the best way to save for college.

Or maybe your kids are a little older, and youre totally over those overpriced green juices. Your new cleanse involves sucking down the dredges of your kids juice box so it doesnt leak all over the car. Zulily shopping sprees are a distant memory now that one trip to Target sets you back $200. Yes, all those baby expenses have just been replaced with new ones. Youre dealing with summer camp, tutors, a constant stream of new clothes and toys, doctors visits, and on, and on, and on Sure, you knew kids were expensive, but the babysitting cost alone is enough to make you beg your doctor for a Xanax (just kiddingsort of!), especially now that yoga is out of the question. No amount of coffee can make a 6:30 a.m. yoga class on four hours of sleep anything other than risky for the people around you, and by 6:30 p.m., the only childs pose thatll make you happy involves your son posing in his bed fast asleep. And if someone brags about how shes already maxing out retirement savings or has Juniors college all paid for, the first image that runs through your head is her falling face-first into her homemade pie at the next bake sale.

Ladies, I get it. When I gave birth, I was bowled over and super stressed by how expensive it all was. And I write about money as my job! Who knew it would cost $500+ a year just to keep the child in diapers, and then hundreds more for the educational toys I feel like a bad mom if I dont buy. Then theres daycare and babysittinghow can watching a few babies sleep, cry, and poop command nearly as much as my first salary? And since when do teenage babysitters get well over minimum wageeven when I know theyre just milking my Netflix subscription and Snapchatting their friends? There are doctor visits my insurance company somehow doesnt deem their problem to fully pay for. And, of course, theres wine, because seriously, who doesntbetween the projectile vomit, 3 a.m. feedings, and poop-smeared walls (yes, wallsthis happens to almost every parent at least once!)need a glass (or three) of Sauvignon Blanc?

Its not like you have time to deal with your not-so-amazing financial situation, right? Youre lucky if you can pee by yourself and maybe get one hour with your spouse after the kids go to bedduring which time you inevitably fall asleep ten minutes into that HBO show your childless friends have been telling you that you must!! watch.

Youve seen the budgeting books that tell you to track every purchase you make for the next couple months and you think, Come on! I can barely keep track of where my kids are within my own house, how in the heck am I going to do that? Or how about those obviously childless experts who advise you to earn extra cash with a second job, or to put in a zillion extra hours for overtime or a big promotion. Youre barely skating by on minimal sleep as it is! Plus, your kids are more important and you love spending time with them (well, except for that ten minutes a day that you spend crying in the bathroom from exhaustion and then the thirty minutes each night post-witching-hour that you spend wondering if theyre secretly trying to ruin your life). You may need or want to work, but you dont want it to eat into family time too much. While that might not put you on the CEO track, youre okay with that. Or maybe you would like to walk outta that office door permanently, leaving the burned coffee, mind-numbing meetings, and reams of PowerPoint presentations squarely where they belong (the trash, thank you very much)so you can devote yourself to your kids full time. But, you wonder, can you afford it? And what will that mean if you decide to go back to work down the road?

Kids are totally worth it (well, most of the time) but crazy expensive. So whats a busy momwho doesnt have hours of time to track her spending or learn the ins and outs of college savings plansto do? I dug into a ton of books to get some answersand found that many of the books a mom seeking financial advice might pick up fall into just two categories.

The first type are the super-couponer, mommy on budget books about how to save money with advice that many of us either already know (use coupons, make one-dish meals), simply wont do (relinquishing your morning Starbucks is so not happening), or that dont save you enough money for all the effort it takes. Seriously, who has two hours a week to cut coupons only to save $4 at the grocery store?

The second type are often boring, overly complicated financial management books. Most of these are written for Americans in general, so they miss a lot of mom-specific issues. Plus, lets face it, you know youll never actually slog through all those chapters. Theres just something about the words choosing investments for a 401(k) plan that suddenly make you realize how much you need to color code your kids sock drawers. Yes, their advice is greatbuild up an emergency fund, put away money for college for your kids, invest for your retirement, and on and onbut its also often complicated, too time-consuming for most moms, and sometimes presented in a deadly boring way. Its also sure to leave you wondering: